VALENTINE’S LESSONS
TALKING TO YOUR ADOLESCENT ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
RESPECTING OTHERS Dr. David Anderson, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, believes it’s especially important to talk to adolescents about respecting boundaries. “One of the big lessons we want to be sending to kids at any age is that there are two people to consider,” he writes, explaining that adolescents tend to only focus on their own feelings and need to learn to consider how their crush may feel about them. This awareness might prevent them from overstepping someone else’s comfort zone. RESPECTING THEMSELVES At the same time, kids and teens should know the importance of respecting their own feelings. Setting boundaries can be especially important when your child is confronted with an unwanted Valentine’s Day card or request for a date and feels pressured to reciprocate. “Boundary setting is imperative to learn during adolescence because it is a time of identity formation,” writes Dr. Marilyn Price-Mitchell in Psychology Today. “Healthy boundaries allow teens to feel respected, valued, and empowered to build positive relationships in their lives.” It also helps them handle uncomfortable social situations with grace and maturity. Crushes and first dates are a part of growing up, as is learning how to contribute to healthy relationships. Much like a first step or learning to drive, patient, loving parental support makes all the difference.
With Valentine’s Day approaching, stores are filled with chocolates, stuffed animals, and cards for significant others. Love is in the air! Even though you may not realize it, your kids may also be feeling the pressure. Crushes, dates, and broken hearts are part of their lives, too, but they may struggle to talk with you about it. Thankfully, developmental experts have weighed in on how to approach these important and delicate conversations. NO LAUGHING MATTER Judith Myers-Walls, professor emeritus of child development at Purdue, urges parents not to treat their kids’ crushes as silly. We may know these early expressions of love aren’t that serious in the long run, but to an adolescent, the emotions are very powerful. “They are very easily embarrassed about those feelings,” Myers-Walls observes, “so parents and other adults should be respectful and not tease about those issues.” Rather than make kids feel ashamed of these early romantic feelings, let them know you’re there to talk to them about it.
PATIENT SUCCESS STORY
HEAR FROM CHRISTINA RODOCKER
There’s no greater compliment we can receive than kind words from our patients. We’re always humbled when a patient is willing to share their treatment experience with us and others. Here, in her own words, is how Christina describes her experience with North County Water and Sports Therapy Center. “I found myself in a situation where physical recovery was necessary to improving my well-being. When I first started out with North County, I had very little knowledge of just how long recovery can take. I learned that it was dependent on consistency, commitment to coming in regularly, and also doing my recommended at-home exercises.
After three months, I’ll admit I was feeling somewhat defeated because things weren’t improving as fast as I wanted them to. But after five months, I was feeling much better and getting close to feeling normal again. The exercises had become much easier, and I was feeling almost no pain. Somewhere in the 6–8-month range, I realized I was almost there. Everything was coming together. My brain had finally wrapped around everything I was learning, and I was easily applying it to my real life and exercise outside of therapy. I could never have achieved that without the help of North County.” –Christina Rodocker
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