. , Shakin' Street Gazette October 10, 1974 :




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Festival East Concerts & WPhD Present


:c4< LS :,'a'nd '~TOWER OF POWER'' . - ,

Contents ! \ .

Wed. Oct.16th at 7'PM • ,• • -• ' BUFFAL·O * *- * * MEMORIAL AUDI-TORIUM TICKETS : $5.00 Advance & $6 .00 at Door

Staff Editor : Fe~tures: · Staff:

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Gary Sperrazza Joe Fernbacber Andy Cutler

ROCK AND ROL·L FANTASY by Joe Fe'rnbacher ·

Bob Kozak Jim Bunnell

After a bout with nightma re madn ess ala H.P. Lovecraft, th is literary excursion takes us into th e outer reaches of the future--:when ~he Diamond Dogs and Patti Hearst are running th e nation - and tells us like it's gonna be .. . • Page 4 I

·, ,· .,

Juicy Lucy Perro11e Mitch "JD" Hejna B~rnard-_"DJ" Kug~I r Lester Bangs· · . .. l, .. Pete Tomlinson ·. , , t. '· ' Dave _Meinzer {Ed/ .;: ?4: ::~~- Bonnie Morris ·, ,·•·;i.,. "~ Carol "Ooh La 'La"': Pan~·r~ ; Michael 'Bos~o '. B~~k 1 (ey ··:r' Barbara Krakoff ' ":

Tickets available at FESTIVAL TICKET OFFICE in the Statler Hilton Hotel or with a nominal service charge in BUFFALO a t the Buffalo State Ticket Office, a t Norton Hall on U.B.'s Campus, at all Mantw0 and Pantastik Stores and at all Audrey & Del's Record Stores •• In NIAGARA FALLS. N.Y. at D' a mico Music ,ind a t Move·n Sound•• In EAST AURORA, N.Y. at the Ha us of Ullr ••In FREDONIA, N.Y. at Fredonia St/1te College Ticket Office·•• In ORCHARD PARK. N.Y. at Audio Center• eln BATAVIA, N.Y. at Audio Center •• In OLEAN, N.Y. a Audio Center•• In ROCHESTER, N.Y. at all Midtown Record and T,ipe Center • • In CANADA '- NIAGARA FALLS, ONTARIO at Sam th'e Recordman •• In ST. CATHARINES at Sam the Recordman•• In BURLINGTON'at Brant Ticket Agency•• In HAMILTON at Ma ple Leaf and .Connaught Ticket Agencies •• In TORONTO at all !tractions Tickets.




Writing all this junk about- vinyl is as worthless and fruitless as one might expect it to be and _all from the frothing pen of (oose Lester Bangs , one of the editors of Greem . . . what can a poor boy do . . . Page 6

Bu.s1ness: Advertising: Distribution:

Rick Little by Magic...



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LONG PLAYERS Traffic by Gary Sperrazza !, Jackson Browne by Dave Mein zer, The Mothers by Andy· Cutler, Amboy Dukes andt Chick Corea by IVJitchell JD Hejna, Felix Cavaliere by: Bernard Kugel, Bob and Joe and Juicy L~cy cheered us on, and Utah Jim was bed-ridden . . 1• . Page 14

The SHAKIN' STRE5\i- GA•ZETTE is published alternate Thursda,ys during the academic year and monthly during the summer vacatior:i by the. students of Buffalo State College, and is funded by the Mandatory' Student Activity Fee.- T,otal press run' is 12,000. · 1 THE SHAKIN' ST. GAZETTE is distributed free of charge to the college cominunities, and . over 30 locations dealing in asp~cts of the music buiness, and is ·widely read by Buffalo fans, disc joc,keys, critics and music business people across the country, many of whom contribute to the Gazette. THE SHAKIN' STREET GAZETTE is made available outside the city at a cost of $3,00 per semester or $5.50 per year . • , . ' The Shakin' Street Gazette is pub!ished at the State University College at Buffalo, 1300 Elmwood ~ venue, Buffalo, New Y,ork 14222. Located in Stuclent Union Room 417. (716) , 862-6729. Editorial'offices at 35 Knox Avenue, Buffalo, New Ydrk 14.216. (716) 875-8475 1• Contributions for Shakin' St,reet are welcome, both,from students' and non-students, however, we accept no responsibility for their return. The opinions e,xpressed within the Gazette '\ do not necessarily reflect ,the editorial policy I . . • so don't bug us because we're not respopsible . No portion of this magazine may be reprinted in any manner without the express consent of the Editor.

Fri. Oct. 18, 8:30

Fireside lounge

COLD CUTS No meat, lot s of filler, without street meat this time . ..


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The best roc·k 'n' roll writing is not in the nat.iona /s a~ ymore, and Gary shows you ' where it's all happening, even though it 's not coming back .. . Page 21


3065 DELAWARE AVE. KENMORE, N. Y. 14217 716-873,.9534

CONCERTS • To soothe the savage beast within you . . . ·" ' '


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OCTOBER 10, 1974

Rock'n' Roll Fantasy What happens when all these

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about in gawky seni lity, has to hitch up by Joe Fembacher his rhinestone suspenders and daily chop off the heads of real live sc1·eaming bi-ats Tues. and beam-in on some future trends (State Order 7983540 - 2BO: all in the merry land of rockalong: entertainment must function in a dual PROSTHETIC ROCI<: role, as escape fo1· the people an·d as Actually this trend is '--in its infancy effective deterents to population right now. Back in the late sixties there growth ... ) So rnckinioll will become a was a psychopunkplicious band c_alled tool of necessity. The following is a scene The Barbarians. They had a few h·it~ like that just might be common place af1er - "Are You a Boy, 01· Are You a Gir.l" ..- man takes that one step bey·ond: (very prophetic judging from current " ... his ectomorphic frame reached gender confusion) etc. But they were in for every bit of energy it could find .. . truth the _. frontrunners of apperi¢1age sweat beaded at the back of his neck .. . music. Why? Well, their drummer' was Johnny was searing the audience with .his called Moulty and he only had arm. flame-throwing guitar ... he stared· at The other was a metallic hook wh·i~h he him ... thin§s were flying about the s\age fitted his drumstick onto when playi,ng. as the audience unleashed ·its collective Moulty, according to local legends, was a violence and tore apart seats, ushers, and real rock-ass character, like he would get each other . .. now's the time, is the mir-id wasted i'n his apartment and start moment ... he moved slowly towa.rds tossing bottles at the walls and tearing :Johnny, he stared right into his ·eyes apart furniture with his hook. ·His unblinking (the backbeat it was hard to neighbors would inva;iably find him out master) Johnny grinned and stai-ed right on the front lawn in the wee hours of the back, he caught a small electrical charge morning swimming in a lake pf his own from the microphone which broke the · mawspit. Moulty even had a semi-hit trance, he rushed over to Johnny and tore record by himself, it was' an hisarmoffrightatthepointwhe1·e the autobiographical number named after shoulder meets the armpit, Johnny himself. On it he told his own personal laughed .as the blood and entrails spurted . story-kinda like a rock'n' roll Queen for onto the stage, Johnny was an amputee a Day - in a gracious punk slur with the . . . he started up another song, one band scr~aming out "MOULTY" -after , dedicated to the mass murders of the each heart wrenching stanza. It turns out sixties, and started to pound Johnny's the·song is about how he joined a rock 'n' arm on the stage until it started to ;oil band to get the attention of the ladies shatte,r. .. " (For further reference to this 'cause whose gonna want to bed down kind of mischief, check ·out "Ballroom with an · amputee - with long locks, Blitz" by the Sweet.) remember Penthouse hadn't even been This should -be a common scene in the thought of yet. You might say th_at future as man's moral decay usually goes Moulty was the Godfather of Prosthrock. hand in hand with his .physical decay. If Currently, again according to legend, the trend pans out prosthetic bands will there's a band of Texas rockers which SE the logical regents .of rock-on. The age sport a character named the Silver Bullet. of the cyborg-why not? A lead singer He's a multiple amputee ("as in no arms, with amplifiers imbedded in his throat no legs, jus' a torso) who comes on stage and a Marshall speaker encased in his encased in aluminum foil. Reportedly at chest cavity; a guitar player with a guitar the end of a set they cast off the foil and in place of an arm; etc. etc. toss the Silver Bullet into the front frow. WOMB ROCK: Now, that's·rock 'n' roll esprit de corps at Now this one isn't as far fetched as its most poignant. might like to think it is, why? well it However, that's now, what we came seems that .a straing 'of this kind of here to do was to take a brief glimpse psychotechnological Orwellianism is into "what if." The age of sensual actually going RIGHT NOW. Where: one decrepitude has lapsed on into a society of the leading radio ·stations in Chicago of Dorian Grey pervaholics. Alice Coo·per, has already put into practice a form of a former 70's creeper now floundering corpd,rate brain control. It seems these

greaspai 'nt-encased sexual abberants ' currently running rampant ,throughout rock 'n' roll transcend their roles as q lJ irk y d iv~rsions and become the historical awareness which molds the musical make-up ·of a new breed of transisto.r teenmeans? What happens when we're old enough to get our jollies by going to 'a 70's reviyal? Wha.t happened when the child of the 50's (ak'a "son of a nuclear a-bomb") grew up we already , know, history being the essential mode of cult~i-al reincarnation; and what . . . happened to the drug-hazed frontal lobes of the sixties we can already dessimate ·useful speculation, although absolute accessibility to detail is still somewhat fogged over by a mass generatipnal hangover! - The prospects for the future, from this vantage point in the void at least, are · both frightening and appetizi!llg: as in what happens when bands Ii ke the Stooges become the Bill Haley ar-id. the Comets of the 2000's? What kinds of science fiction are these premature android punknods going to be subjected to when they orb-scan their fave boozodome on Sat. night for some kickin' carburator action? What sort of heavy h.ardware- strap--em- in- the- chair- and- pin- back- his- earlobes achromic sonicisms are these greasy hearts gonna have to deal with? Incidentally, perhaps by the time all these "what happens when" occur, the visual aspect qf existence will have been tossed into the cosmic rumbleseat and replaced by a more efficient system of aural sensation, eyes becoming useless through continuous overlode and eventual atrophy will be cross-breed out of necessity: sensual, political, economic (money will be replaced by exchange of transistors and negotiable decibels) sound will be the cultural language of the future-whose gonna need eyes when we ·develop honest-to-Ben Franklin radar luv? Which brings us to a srall collection of "what if's" this repo\ ter has been nightmaring about for the past month. Forewarning to all-what follows is ,a nasty of linear ta~essness: structure for the sake of order being useless and structure for the sake of ambivalence being awwwright now . . . turn left on

cultural conditioning whereby younn enceinte females and malefe's (men turned into breeding machines) will have special operations in which microspeakers are attached to the frontal lobes of the slowly developing fetus. Then a continuous serie.s of .muzakized tapes will be fed into the subconscious of the child, subliminally creating a younger youth market for the corporate mommy to wean than already exists. Like \when kids a'~e born they'll know what the top tens supposed to be, they'll know just what record fhey'II want for their first Birthday party, etc. Think about it, what with current ,thinking learning towards general acceptance of psychosurgery psychotechnology, brain manipulation . with Pavlovian culturalisms, and whatever other secret government propaganda programs being enacted in mile-deep silos off in the middle of Arizona. PARANOIA-and why the hell not? It's healthy. Another possibility which is even more far reaching than any of these others (which are all fetishes) deals with a rock-on consciousness as applie9 to bc;>dily functions. This• brings up endless possibilities. At a recent concert given by · a secondary buncha limywarts called

normally innocuous MOR heads have devised a plan-now pay attention to this-whereby they bring a random selection of teenmeans into the studio and strap them into polygraph machines: ·. what they use for inducement I don't know, free records, dope, suckers, who knows, _then they play a sampling of new releases, ones they're not sure of putting on their play lists or not. It seems most radio program directors are so insecure as to ·what ' the kids wanna hear that they have to resort to such measures-why are they insecure, could be that 99% of them are so caught up in their own hype and lack of knowledge of ATTITUDES :, music 'don't mean jack shit anymore because it's more than multi-cultural strained oatmeal-as in there ain't nothing new happened since 1969 'cause that's when the world nodded out. Whatever happened to things like "I give it an 85 'cause I can screw to' it: .. " Believe it or else this trend is slowly gaining national attention, pretty soon most radio stations will be running Saturday afternoon Pavlov sessions for teenmeans. Does this all remind you a little bit of human jukeboxes? Shudder. So let's get liack .to extrapolation. Womb rock. This will be a form of

Nazareth, the lead singer in a fit of let's- show- how- neet- we- really- are- pulled out a bag-like device which he had hooked up to a bank of amplifiers by a long brutish looking white catheter tube. He proceeded to make himself an instrument-a machine. At first I thought this was totally obnoxious and I almost began to like it for its obvious attitude, then I decided that it could've been done with much more pazzazz. Like why not shove that white tube up his hiney and pass wind through a dozen Marshall amps-atonal and all that Cage-ish d9-wah-thus becom'ing the first practitioner cif ENEMA ROCK. Then you' could plug it into hearts, stomachs ·etc. etc. Perhaps the end resylt of all civilized rock 'n' roll will'culminate in what I like to call TECHNOROCKALOT. 'This is when the machines get rid of·the people and perform for other machines. Hints of this ca'n be seen currently oy such .grou'ps as ELP and how about when Ronnie Montrose (oh, how I like that boy) sets up an excruciating wall of feedback and walks off the stage with his guitar still taking the solo all by itself-powerful, you betcha. lihen . . . well, ennui has finally erroded my visions so'.s later.



OCTOBER 10, 1974


Howtobea RO.CK.CRITIC - , t , . . , ~-You too can be a m,k •a_'"" p;,k yo"' mannequ;n 001=. A· C.

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,,,• '.7i%~•f{:i~-, -"Nobody will come up to you and say 'Hey, Late1y i 've noticed a new wrinkle on the American landscape: _ it seems as if there's a whole generation of kids, each one younger •than the last, all of whom live, breathe and dream of but one desire: "I want to be a rock critic when I grow up!" If that sounds condescending let it be known that I wasoncejustlikethem;the only difference was that when I held such aspirations, the fie ld was relatively uncluttered - it was practically nothing \o barge right in and commence the , slaughter - whereas now, of course, it's so glutted that the last thing anybody should ever consider doing is entering thi s racket. In the first place, it doesn't pay much and doesn't lead anywhere in

recognize you. You're Jon Landau.'"

up to you in the street and say, "Hey, I recognize· you! You're Jon Landau! Man, that last review was really far out!" A lot of people, in fact, /-'Viii hate you and think you're a pompous asshole just for expressing your opinions, and tell, you so to your face. On the other side of the slug, though, .are. the benefits. Which are okay, if you don't get taken in by them. The first big one is that if you stay at this stuff long enough you'll start to get free records in the mail, and if you persevere even longer ~ou may wind iup on the promotional mailing .lists of every company in the nation, which will not only save you a lot of money on payday and ensure that you'll get to hear everything and anything 7

particular, so no matte-r how successful you are at it, you'll eventually have to decide what you're going to do with your life ' anyway. In the second place, it's basically ju st a racket in the first place, and not a particularly glorious one at that. It almost certainly won't g'et you laid. ( Rock critics are . beginning to get groupies of a sort now, but most of them are the younger, aspiring rock critics - like the kind on Shakin' Street - of one sex or another.) It V)lon't make you rich: the highest-paying 1 magazine in the rock press still only pays thirty bucks a review, and most of the other magazines fall way below that. So you'll never be able to make a living off of it. Nobody will come

OCTOBER 10, 1974

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you want, ' but help to pay the rent on occasion when you sell the albums spilling into your bathroom to local used records stores, at prices ranging from $.05 to over a dollar apiece.-Plus on Christmas i , 1ou 1 .don't have to buy anybody any presents if you don't want to: just give your mother the new Barbra Streisand album Columbia sent you because Barbra's trying ,to relate, your big sister ~ cine of the three copies of ·the new Carole King that you got in the mail, your little sist\lr that G>smonds cjouble live LP you never 'even opened because you're too hip .. . all down the line, 1-eaving vol! with enough money saved to stay fucked up on good whiskey over the holidays this year. Another fringe · benefit which will sooner or later accrue if y~u hew steadily on this jive ass scrawl, is that you will be · invited 'to press parties for the opening o,f new acts in town. It helps to live in places like L.A. . and New York, because they ·have more of them there; I know som.e people, in fact, who have almost literally 'kept themselves from starving for months at a time by eating dirner at a different prE!ss party every night. (1 1 know other people who have made entire careers out of attending these things, but that's a different story.) The food's usually pretty good to magnificent, unless it's some . bluejeaned' folkie and the company's trying to .be with-it by serving organic slop unfit for the innards of a sow; even in such an extreme case as that, though, you can content yourself with sopping up the booze, wh ich is plentiful and usually of high quality . . So even if you live at home or haven't had any trouble lately keeping the wol! from the door, ~ou can get drunk free a lot and that's always a pleasure, even if you do usually have to sit through some shit like John Prine of Osibisa just for a few glasses of gin. Sure you 're prostituting yourself ' in a way, but so are they, .and what are most modern • 1 business, social or sexual relationships if not a process of symbiotic exploitation? It's the same tub of shit no matter where " it perches, so you might as well kick back and enjoy yourself while you can. · The next big step up after press parties is that you'll start receiving invitations to concerts, events and record .company, conventions in distant cities. Free · vacations! The record companies will pay your plane fare, put you up in a swank h~tel with room service (usually), and wine and dine you like mad for the duration of your stay, all just because they want you to write about some act they're trying to break. This is where things get a


nightdaze fantasies of big contracts with ESP-Disk at least. Speaking of investing your .life savings, another good way of. letting · on - to everybody on the' block that YO\J 're a rock critic is to go ou:t and waste a lot of money buying old albums in bargain bins. They have these turd-dumps . in most drugstores or supermarkets, full pf •last year's crap and older .stuff at qprices ranging from as low as a quarter all the way up to $2.50 . and more. If you patronize these scumholes regu.larly, you will soon begin to build 'a Definitive Rock 'n' Albums Collection, which. i's of co\_Jrse a must for anybody who's into this way of life really seriously . The object . is' simple: you gotta have EVERYTHING, no matter . how arcane or shitty it is; because it all fits into the grand bulwark of Rock. So just go but there and throw all your money away, it's a good

-Above - the only existing picture of the ' 3) in ,center, ancl Arthur Levy after Buffalo Rockwriters Symposium. Note ·midn_.i,ght (bottom right).

Mendelsoh,fl at left, Bangs at his best (No. rock critics in the worl,d have some grand

·"It almost certainly won't get you laid!" little cooler and less of a hustle, because once you've had enough stuff published that they're willing to drop a' few hundred smack\lroos to get you ro do a story on somebody ,in their stable,, you can pretty much pick and choose whq you want to write about. Well, not totally, but everybody finds their own ·level, and it finds them. Like if you're a redhot flaming-eared heavy metal {anatic, they'll call you up one day arid offer to fly you to Chicago or New York t0 see, oh., the Stooges, maybe. Or at least Jukin' Bo~e. 1 • The final benefit (and for some people, the biggest) is that during most of these stages and at an increasingly casual level as time goes on,' you'll get to. ' \ ho.bnob with the Stars. Backstage at · concerts, in the dressing room drinking their wine, · rappi,ng casually with the famous, · the. talented, the rich and beautiful. Most of 'em are j.ust jerks like everybody else, and you probably won't really get to meet any real Biggies very often since the record companies don't need publicity on them so why should they inflict you on 'em, but you will become friends with a lot ~f Stars of ttie Future. Or iit least also rans. Okay, so. that's the rosy vista. I painted it for true, and if you want it, it's yours,. becuz after ·almost five years in this racket I finally decided ,I'm gonna 1break down and tell the whole world how to break in. I could get a lotta dough for this if I wanted to-some of us have talked for years about starting a Famous Rock Critics' School-but fuck it, I'm too lazy to take the time to set up some shit like that, and besides it's about time everybody got wind of the True Fax of Rock 'n' Roll Criticism. Listen well, and

like ·'John Stewart fv1ill couidn 't write

theory they're trying to lay 'on each othe1· ,rock 'n' roll, but Dylan could have

decide for yourself wt'1ether you wc1r11H:1 bother with it. The first thing to understand and bear i[) mind at. all times i.s that the whole thing is just a big ruse. from the word gb, it don't mean shit except e.xploitati~ely and in the zealotic terms o'f wanting to 'l i['/fl ict your tastes on other people. Most . people start writing record .reviews because they want other peopie to ·like the same kind of stuff- they do, ·and there\ nothing wrong with that; it's. a very honest impulse. I used to be _a_ Jehovah's Witness Vl(hen I was a kid so .1 had it in by blood already, a head start. But don't wqrry. All you gotta do is just keep bashin' away, and sooner or iater people will start saying things to you like, "How do you fit the Kinks into your overall aesthetic perspective?" Well they won't really talk tFiatjiveass, .but damn close if you travel in the right (or wrong, ·as the case may be) circles. Because that old saw is true: most rock critics are pompous i!SSholes. Maybe most critics are pompous assholes, but rock critics are especially - because the/re working in virgin territory where the~e•s absolutely no recognized, generally agreed on authority or standards . '' Nor should there be. Anything goes, so fake 'em o_ut every chance you get. 'n' roll 's basically just a bunch of garbage in the first place, it's nbise; it's here today and gone tomorrow, so the only thing that can possibly trip you up is if you begin to reflect that if the music's that trivial, cari you imagine how trivial what you're doing is? Which actually is a good attitude to operate from, because it helps keep the pomposity factor in check. Half the r,ock critics in the country, no, 90% of the '8 ,

and everybody else; which t)1ey insist writ,te-11

'An. Essay On Human investment. You'll be filling your ;• room ·

explains everything in musical history and with mung, but so what:_how many other ties up all the loose ends . Every la'st one called it 'Like a Rolling Stone!' " (Dave •people do you know who have the of 'em has a different theory and every Marsh of CR.EEM Magazine actually said Battered Ornaments album? Right. They last one of the theories is total bullshit, that to me , ar\d everybody else who lived don't know what they're m'issing. · · but you might as well have one as part of with us; and everybody he talked to on I know one rock critic who actually your baggage if you'1·e going to pass. Try the phone for 'the next month, once.) drew out his life's savings and drove from 1 this: ALL ROCK 'N' ROLL CULTURES Just imagi[ie laying tha,t on some fine St. Louis, where he lived, to New York P.LAIGARISE EACH OTHFR, THAT IS little honey-she'd flip out! She'd think and back, by way of Chicago, De~roit and INHERENT IN THEIR NATURE. SO you were a genius! Either that or a · New Jersey, AND STOPPED AT EVERY MAYBE, SINCE \/\/HAT . ROCK 'N' . pompous .asshole . But in this business, BARGAIN BIN ALONG THE WAY. That ROLL'S ALL ABOUT IS PLAIGARISM like any, other; you win some and you was the entire purpose of the trip, to visit ANYWAY, THE MOST OUT-AND-OUT lose some. Persevere, kid. 1 bargain bins. Now this guy is obvi,ously.a PLAIGARISTS, THE IMITATORS OF . Where were we? Ah yes, ·you should real doofus and ',totally out of his mind, THE PRIME 'MOVING GENIUSES, ARE also know that most of your colleagues but you can see where this business can GREATER AND MORE VALID THAN are some of the biggest neurotics in the lead y.ou if you're ' lucky and apply THOSE GENIUSES! JUST CHECI< THIS country, ' so you ·might as well get used yourself: down blind alleys. OUT : THE ROLLING STONES ARE right now to the way they're gonna be Speaking of this same doofus reminds BETTER 1 THAN _CHUC!< BERRY! ·THE writing you five and ten page single me of another riff that is essential to have SHADOWS OF !



their true greatness will be recognized and . 1/0U will be v·ind!cated as a seer far ahead of your time. Sometimes this scheme can r·e·ally pay off, 'like if you happen to pick a Captain Beefheart or Velvet Underground way before they get widely known, although they're not really eligible because groui:1 has gotta be so obscure that they can·put out all kindsa albums and nobody pays ~ny attention to 'em but you, they're just off mouldering in a cutout . rack somewhere if not for your devoted efforts. Doofus (of the preceding paragraph) came up with a lulu in this dep~rtrrient, •couple of 'em in fact: All he ever talks about is ·Amon Duul 11, Bang and Budgie. Ever heard of any of 'em? That's what I thought. And you probably never will except if he's around to pester you about them. Amon Duul II are this psychedelic experimental avant-garde chance music · free jazz electronic synthesizer space rock group from Germany. They got all kinds of albums out over there, there's even tWo groups with the same natne, Amon Duul I and Amon Duul II, but they on!y got three albums out here and hardly anybody ever heard ' of 'em, although a whole shitload of people sure will it Doqfus keeps up his one-man propaganda campaign in their behalf! They happen to be real good, but that's beside the point. And Bang and Budgie, his other two pet monomanias; are a couple of Black Sabbath imitations, one from Florida and one from England, ·one pretty good and one not so hot. So he and this other critic from Texas (also previously mentioned) send !)ig long hate letters back and forth to each other telling each other what . morons they are, because the Texan don't like Budgie or something like that. Get the idea? Also I turned Doofus onto the Can, another German psychedelic schnozz-ball that has lotsa 17-minute electroraga jams, and . he listens to one side of ·their album one time and sez to me: "Don't you think the Can are better than the Stooges?" See what I mea.n? When all week he's been asking me things like "Don't you think Amon Duul 11 are the greatest group in history?" and "Don't you think Dance of the Lemmings (one of their albums, featuring such standards of the futur.e as "Dehypnotized Toothpaste," "Landing in a Ditch" and "A Short Stop at the Transylvanian Brain Surgery") is the greatest · album of all time?" and I keep saying no, but he won't take no for an answer, he's a man with a Plan! A crusader dn behalf pf

Got\ it 1 Okay, the ne\t part's just as easy. Just fill in the blanks: This latest offering from -----'--------- a. Ha1·monica · Don and His Red Light Dist,rict b. The Armored Highchair c. Ducks in Winter is-------------~- a. a clear consolidation of the artistic moves first tentatively ventured in his / her/their / its last album. b: a real letdown after the masterpiece _album and single that cari·ied us all the W81_Y through the summer and warmed us ovh in thefall. c. important only insofa r as i.t will delineate the contours of the current d. The Four Fat Guys e. Arturo de Cordova

kind of artistic freedom," or any other such lame copout . c. It's such a thrill that this album · finally came, that I am finally actually holding it in my hands, looking at the fantastically beautiful M.C. , Escher drawing on the cover whilst trembling all over to. the incredible strains of the music on the record from inside it which even now are waftir:ig from the old Victrola ; that I really don't know if I am going to come or cry. d. It's so goddam fucking boring to have to op~n all these pieces of shit every day, you waste your time, you break y_our fingernails, half the time it's just a repeat of an album that came yesterday, that I can hardly bring 'myself to slit open the shrinkwrap once I get 'em oui~a the

did, so I don't even care where I am, I don't care if I got rolled last night, I don't care if this place gets busted right now, I don't care if the world comes to an end because the cosmic message of truth and unity which this music is bringing to me has ·made me feel complete for the first time si nee 1968. · 1 , (Well, that wasn't hard at all, was it,? pt. whole paragraph written already! But this is oo place to stop: the most fun's yet to come. Tally ho!) · The first song on side one



(choose one) a. "Cataline Sky"

b. "Death Rays in Your Eyes" c. "I Wish 1. Was a Rusty Nail"' d. "Lady of Whitewater" · · e. "Nixon Eats"

(choose again) _________~_ a. is-a musingly high SQirited opener in march tempo b. starts things off at an extremely high energy level ; c. sets the pace and mood of the album most atmpspherically d. won't win any Grammies th·is year e. reminds me o( my Grandmother , puking up her sherry into the·bathtub the night we had fish that had gone bad for dinner when I was three years old. The first thing you notice is (choose one) a. t_he vicious, slashing guitar solo ' b. the deep, throbbing bass 'lines , c. how mellowly the sensitive, almost painfully fragile vocal is integrated ·with the me~merising Spanish chords from those fOL.i'r fine hollowbody Gibson guitars , 1- d. that the cymbals aren't miked right e. that the entire mix is a washout and this album has what is probably the worst production of the year. The full impact of what's going on in this cut may not reach you the first time, but if you keep listening a couple of times a -day for a week or two, especially through headphones, it will come to you in a final flash of revelation that b. you are listening to a masterpiece of rock which so far transcends "rock" as we have known it that most people probably won't recognize it's true worth . for at least ten years c. all the instruments are out of tune d. you should have bought the Band instead (choose one) a. you were wasting your time

up." you don'.t even have to tl11nk 1t up, all you gotta do is invest in a slingshot. All the word type stuff you need has already ' b~en w1·itten anyway, it's in old yellow issues ,of Shakin' Street, Rolling Stone, CREEM and all , ·,e rest; just sit around reading and rereading the damn things all day and pretty soon you 'II have whole paragraph·s of old record reviews · memorized, wh ich is not only a good way to impress people at parties and girls you're . trying to pick up w ith your , erudition, but allows you to plaigame at wi II . And don't worry about getting caught, because nobody in this business has any rnemory and besides they'i·e all pl.aigarists too and besides .that all record reviews read the 'same . I learned to write 'em outa Down Beat, and it's the same shit in Rolling Stone; it's the shame shit all over. Just stir and rear'range it every once in awhile. Take off riff and staple it_ to another; and if you get' tired of thinking about how you're a rock ,critic, remember William Burroughs and the cutyp methods and think about being avant-garde. I do all the time. Okay, now it's time for you to write YOUR VERY FIRST ORIGINAl,. RECORD REVIEW. It's easy, all you gotta do is point. First, pick a title for the album : a. Oranges in Exile b.Outer City Blues & Heavy Dues c.Cajun Sitar Dance Party d. Hungry Children of Babylon e. Eat Your Coldcream

-"I wanria be a rock critic when I grow Neglected Genius. So you see the key: persistence. Make a total nuisance of yourself, and people will begin to take. you seriously. Or pt least stop regarding you as not there. And it he wants to continue on this obscure roller-coaster ride, there are zillions of German bands: take Guru Guru or Floh de Cologne, for ' example - these qualify as two of the l finest choices in the Arcane Masterpiece department ·in hisoty r, indeed they 00, because both ' are imports and you can't even find a single Floh de Cologne or Guru Guru album anywhere in the United States except by orderi~g it special from Germany! So nobody knows what it sounds like so they gotta listen to · Doofus. So as you can see Doofus copped himself a real hot item, but chances like that come only once in a lifetime. That pretty well takes care of the quaIificati ons. Like what you see I Wanna give it a try 1 Well, get ready, because the big time is just around the corner. The only thing left to mention before you embark .on your career•.as a rock critic is that talent has absolutely nothing to' do with it, so don't worry if you don't know how to write. Don't even worry if you can't put a simple declarative sentence together. Don't worry if you sign 'your name with an X. An~body can do this shit, al.I it takes is . a high leve·I of unconsciousness (and you just got done reading an unconsciousness expanding session) and some abi lity t.o slifg bullshit around. Also the bullshit is readymade,

-Is this really Gordon Fletcher? malaise tor future r'ock historians, if there are any with all the pollution arounq now. d. definitely the album ofthe ·year. ' e. a heap of pigshit. (How you doin' so far? See how easy it is!) Onward! (Choose one of the following for the ~ext sentence:) 'f a. In dealing with such a record, the time has come at last to talk about the responsibilities, if any, which any artist making rock 'n' roll bears to his audience, and specifically how those responsibilities relate to the political situation which we, all of us, and perforce rock 'n' roll, are compell ed to come to terms with by dint of living in the United States of America today . b. I don't really think these guys/this dude/ the chick in question/a singing dog · can defend musical output which has proven increasingly shoddy by referring to such old handles as "personal ~xpression," "experimentalism," a new

cardboard (which piles up i,n a bi_g mess all over the house after it gets dragged outa the corner by all my asshole friends!), and I r~ally can just barely stand to put the ' goddam things on the turntable after that. I wish it would break anyway so I wouldn't have to listen to 'em anymore. (Good one, huh, more than one sentence in th is one!) But · anyway, I put this piece of shit on just like all the others except the ones I never get around to, and right now I'm listening to it and you know what? I was.right. It is a piece of shit! e. I don't remember how I got here, whose house this is or where this typewriter canie from, but anyway this new album is by the greatest fucking rock 'n' roll band in the whole wide world/most talented, sensitive balladeer of his generation whom many of us are already calling the New Dylan/sweetest songbird this side of the Thames has saved my life again just like all th,e others

10 .


OCTOBER 10, 1974



I over the years, and wh~t do I get out of it? 1 ·Nothing but a lot of grief! A 1'ot of abuse from cretins who can't understand that rock 'n' roll IS the f3evolution! A lot of cheap bloodsuckers lik e hellhounds on my trail! I got "Yer Blues"! f've paid my body and soul! So send me som S$$, goddammit, or I'II never write a word again as long as I live! Your faith correspondent, You did it! You really did it! There, you see, th at wasn't so hard, was it? Novv YOU TOO are an officially ordained and fully qualified rock critic, with publ i cation - u,nder your belt and · everything. Just cut out the 1·eview, if you 1 ve fin ished •filling in ..1~I I the blanks, and send it to the rock magazine of your cho ice with a stamped, self-addressed enve lope' If they send it back, send it to another one! Be persistend Be a "go getter"! Do you think Jon Landau ever let rej,ection slips get him down? No! And if you send it tQ all the rock mags in America, one of them is bound to print it sooner or later because most of them will print the worst off the wall shit in the world if they think it'll make 'em avant-garde ! You could send 'em the instruction booklet on how to repair y6ur lawn mower, just write the name of a current popular album by a famous artist at th e top of the cover, sign your name at the bottom of the last page, and they'll • ·print it' They'll think you're a genius! And you are' And whe~ all the money you asked for in th is review starts pouring in from your fans, you'll be rich! David Geffen wi ll invite you out to his house in the .Catskills for the weekend! Miles·Davis will step aside when you walk down the street 1 Seals of Seals & Crofts· will tip his hat to you and sing "Bah'aii !" as you walk down the street! David Peel will ·write songs about you! So will John Leonon! So wi ll everybody! Andy 'Warhol will put you in his movies! You'll tour with David Bowie, Leon Russell and Atomic Rooster, reading your most famous .reviews to vast arenas full of rabid fans! You'll be an international celebrity and die at 33! You l • made t,he grade! You are now a rock critic, and by tomorrow you will be one of the most important critics in America! You'll make Esquire's Heavy Hundred in 1974 ! Congratulations, and welcome to the club! · Your pal, R.J. Gleason (just sign your name here) I (and "'."rite your address he're)

Contest r-------------------7 r This is the official ,entr~ blank! U~e this, or you'll ~e forced fo I listen to All?um Choice No. 18. I \ I .. ..................••..••.•••••••.•••..••..••••••.•.•.. ·I ................................... ··• .................. . . ' ....................................................... ....................................................... .................................. , .................•... (Alright, five is easy. Flex those brain tissues.) • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 11 .......................................... · ............ . ........................ '• ......................... , ... ............................................... ~_\ ...... . ............................................ .......... (So you've got 10, huh? Keep goin'.) ··········~·····_····,,•······························ ················································ . ' ....................... ............................... ....................................................... ' ....................................................... 15!. Didja remember the n,!val officers?) ~- . .. ..................•....•......•.••..••....••..•..... ············ ····································· •••••••• 1• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •1· ••••• . ' ' .......................................... .., ............ .. · .................................................... ··•. I I I I I I (If you've gotten this far, you've probably wcrn already, but continue on another sheet anyway...) Mail to: Shakih' St. Gazette 35 Knox Ave. Buffalo, N.Y. 14216 Name___________________ Address --------------------- City ___--.-__ State ____ Zip·______ Age ___ Phone No. ______ Your LP choices (list number) I . I .I --==-=--=-=--==--~·-------~--J 13 I

e. you're deaf in one ear. Cut two is ---,----------- (choose one) a. a nice change of pace b.. more of'the same pigshit ·c. a definite picker-upper d. interest ing, at least e. insulting to the human ear (my dog didn't like it either) by , vir-tue of the fact that by virtue of the fact that ______ a. it was produced by Phil Specter's cousin from .Jersey b. it's only two seconds long c. the lyrics say more, and more concisely, about what we ha~e done to our natural environment than anyth ing else writ"ten in the past decade _ d. Bobby Keyes, Jim P·rice and Boots Randolph sit in for a real old time "blowing session"· e. I spi,!_led Gallo Port in _the grooves and it made it sound better. In spite df that, I feel that the true significance of its rather dense and muted lyrics can only be apprehended by a. the purchase of a hearing aid b. reading the sheet enclosed with the record · c. going back and · listening to "Memphis Blues Again ," th1m come back to th is and see if it doesn't blow you right out the door! d. taking a course in German e. throwing thf) incoherent piece of pigshit in ,the trash and going out for a beer, where something good is probably on the jukebox ' (Time for paragraph three already! Smooth sai Iing, bunky ! You 're almost there:) This record has insp_ired such in me that I can't bring myself to describe the · rest of the cuts. Track by track reviews are a bore anyway, and the album only costs $4.97 at the right stores, so go down and get it and find out for yourself 1 whether you'll like it or not. Who am I, who is any critic or any other sentient being on the face of the earth, to tell you what a piece of music sounds like? Only your ears can hear it as only your ears -can hear it. Am I right _or am I wrong? Of course I am. I do know that I will a. go on listening to this album till I drop dead of cancer a. •Aqibivalent feelings , b. h,elpless adoration c. bile and venom d. total indifference e.. a powerful thirst


ti. -Shakin' Street's El Mono looks at the .new Warners shipment. b. walk out into the backyard and toss this offense unto mine - eyes into the incinerator soon as I finish typing this spew 1 c. never forget the wonderful . chance I 've had here in the pages of Fusion to . share this very specia l rncord, and my own deepest dredged sen__timerits about it, with you, who whether 'you know it or not are a very special person whom I love without qualification even if we've never seen each other, I don't even know your name, and am so righteous that I don't' even care if you look like a sow d. break this elpee over the head of the very next Jesus Freak or Hare l

FREE ALBUMS! FREE ALBUMS! Fi1EE AL,BUMS!!! Ok, boys and girls, here's ar;iother chance to clean up on the new releases without spending a cent. Throug!iout the history of rock 'n' 1011, there have been .irti.its and groups who gave thlm~elves titles·with some vestige of .authority in their names. There's King Harvest, or Captain Beyond, ana Commander Cody and N.Y. group Queen Elizabeth ....these are just some examples . What we vVant is a list of _title / names like these - an9 we want a really loonnggg one . In fact, we'd be so pleased that the entry with the longest Iist Gan have hi·s pick of any, 10 albums listed below. Contest closes October 30, so winner will be announced in - our November 7 (SSG No. 17) issue. So, send that list to The. Shakin' St. Gazette ... c/o Gary Sperrazza .. . 35 Knox Ave. ... Buffalo, N.Y. 14216. Winner will be judged by the editor on the basis of authenticity, originality, length and accuracy, and ·overall readability. Don't forget to list the albums you want should yo_u win, from the list below. Good lucid 1) Quatro - Suzi Ouatro 2) Quo - Status Ouo 3) Phaedra - Tangerine Dream 4) Turn of the Cards - Renaissance 5) 461 Ocean Blvd. - Eric Clapton 6) Welcome Back My Friends' . . . Ladi~s and Gentlemen - · Emerson, Lake & Palmer 7) The Human Menagerie - Cockney Rebel 8) Child of the Novelty - Mahogany Rush 9) White Lady - Badger 10) Jo,urney - Arthur Brnwn's Kingdom Come 11) Road-- Johnny Rivers 12) Monkey Grip - Bill Wyman 13) Live in Memphis - Elvis Presley 14) Heavy Metal"Kids 15) Mr. Natural - Bee Gees 16\ Preservatio_n Act' II - Ki•nks , 17) Greatest Hits - CSNY 18) (all three count as one) Can't Get Enough - Barry White; In Heat - Love Unlimited; Together Brothers· Soundtrack



OCTOB~R 10, 1974 \


\ People," "Love" and "When the Eagle Flies" a re so p lain as to seem monotonous . " Dream Ge1·1·arcl ," wntten by 1 Winwoocl and Bo nzo Dog-man V iv Stanshall (also t he announce r on Tubular Bells) is d1·aw11 ou t. t o an exuuciati1g 11 minutes. "Walking in the Wind" prnvi cl es the only pl easa nt melody unt i l, tlll"ee minutes in, the band decides to encl t he song while fooling arn uncl for an .e xt 1·a four minutes. "Memori es of a Rock '11 Rolla" (No. 3580 in a series of spngs w ith rock 'n' roll in t he t itle t hat is not roc k 'n' roll - tnere .mu st be jl con spiracy going) has such profoundly inspired lyrics as "And the music is so sweet/ Th at it makes me tap my fee t / And my m ind is so very high / I am almost t ouching the •sky" - 9h, re~lly, Stevie? · This, previou sly superb band - Goel , when I think of s_uch well -cl evelopecl entei-ta inin g albums like Low Spark and John Barleycorn, I ca n't believe it 's the same band - professes to be a f usion of rnck, jazz and R & B. We ll, there's not enough power fo; ro ck fan s, not enough drive .for R&B fa ns and - they 'd ge t laughed out of jazz circles, un less th ey were consicle1·ecl an exe rcise in de licacy . Even as a 'fu si on·: it doesn 't work as there's not enough of any singl e form·01·. theme to· ho ld att enti dn or sa ti sfy anyone. All that remain s is t he name - Ti-atti c - previously regarded as a dependable band for good, solid music . An d that 's the only th ing Asylum can bank on t o sell th is album. If recent sales f or the Dyl an album are an indication that mu si c .fa ns are wising up t o t he absurdist pl ay discussed prev iously, then As T~e Eagle Flies will die a swift death. So Tr affi c and Asylum can't bank on th e band's rep anymore , th ey lost half their audience through lazyness two album s ago. Asylum and Island just stuc k each other with two tu ic keys - they should have known bette1·. It's hoped that - an important lesson wil 1·be le~ rned here - it's financially ,and critically mo1·e profi t abl e in the long run for companies to spend their efforts developing good new bands than to keep milking the old ones, we ll after the old ones 1·un out of drive and ide1S. One look at the charts tells you peopl·e are looking for something new. Both Asylum and Isl and have lots of artists worthy of you,- attention and ' Traffic isn't one of them anymore.

we ll" and more in terest ed in his personal styl ed picturesque lyr ica l ball ads. Nothing on Late for the Sky reaches the intensity of "Doctor My Eyes " or "Redneck Fri end.'' On ly' two songs break out of the· slow Jackson Browne mol d we've come t o kn ow so we ll in only two albums. One , The Road and t'.1e Sky, a sort of sped up sl ow ball ad has been compared f ittingly to Elton (Roc kaday) Johnny. The oth er, ''Walki ng Slow," has an unu sual (for Brown e) reggae rhythm . Y et as laid back (admitted ly a cliche, but too often appropriate th ese days) as the album ·is, w ith its even t empered pia no/gui tar music , t here i.s more of an agi t ated sigh in t he moo,d than a calm one. And as dull and repetitious as the music m ight get t here 's always something '· a David L inley slide or fiddle solo, or more often a lyrica l gem, t o sustain interest. Like· the cover photograph (done in imitati on of surrealist pa inter Magritte) Jacks on's lyr ics give the illu~ion of suriea lism but instead of twi sting things • part way as a su rrea list would , he brings them full circ le, back to reality. He is, to use hi s own ph rase , !'Gonna get a little higher, see if I can hot-w ire reality." "Look," he say s in t he album's only spoken word (nea r t he end of "The Late Show_") . Li st en long, enough to Late for the Sky and y ou'll see. Let's just say nobody gets out and goes into the house Where she lives. And let's just say I drive away, ih an early model Chevrolet, and as I go I sing: "Hey, let's just say ." -David Meinzer

Now that doeso't seem, deal, as is more popular than Traffi c, but since there are so many more LP-buyers in the U.S., Asylum must've figured they cou ld use their reputable . 1~romotion and publicity departments to push this LP down your throats and up t he charts. We now go back a f ew months to discuss the Dylan ' deal. Did you know that the Dylan LP didn't go gold (sell $1,000,000) in the U.S. and fared' worse in England? Right, and Dylan was reportedly so mad he left t he label to return to CBS . Actually, from talking to dieha1·d Dylan fans, the fault lies with the artist himself - Planet Waves was initially satisfying but ultimately disappointing. Now, A sylum keeps their part of the bargain . . . and here is As The Eagle Flies. · It's quite hopeless ~ o expect a i-ejuvenation in Traffic, panicularly afte1· the dismal Shoot Out and On the Road (actually half of a t wo-LP li ve se t issued in England). What T raffic were abl e to crystallize on Low Spark , tMey can no longer recapture, even though the band are back to Jou r-man basics; leader Steyie Winwood, veterans Chris Wood and Jim Capaldi (who has returned to drums) and bassist Rosko Gee. Cut breakdowns seem sens 0 eless, as they're calling indiyidual attention to songs that are so nondescript, they're just not worth talking about. Chris Wood's sax contributes nothing, seeming to float aimlessly throughout the album as Gee and Capaldi set down a merely adequate rhythm that all ows Winwood's hung-over, tired voice to compile a plain ly directionless collection of jamming, with the pretensions that they've created a 'mood.' "Some.thing New," · "Graveyard .

And -most labels combine "product" . (a terribly steril e term) of blatant commerc iality and creativity in a mariner that lets them' ,exist. successfu ll y, on a financial and critical level . So perhaps one can't . blame them as much as the consumer. Not the critic or rabid fan, but the audience bu lk who will buy an artist 's album either to impress his friends, play at a party, stick on as background music, or because 'everyone else has got it.' Any self-respecting artists should be insulted by this kind of LP-buye1·, but it is this guy that helps turn an ~Ibum into a gold-seller and no commercia lly-minded artist with a gold recoid sitting on his mantelpiece can afford not to pander to this hack-segment of his audience, not if it was that segment that helped him to afford that mantelpiece in the first place. So, the th1·ee characters in this absurdist play - the artist/group, the hack-fan, the record company - all enact a complicated pattern of\ lies, backstabbing, anq b~ck-patting that, in the end, will do a good job of stifling any personnel interrelation with the muzak. Twenty · years from now, I don't want to tell my kid that music was invented so there'd be someth ing to listen to in elevators. As the Eagle Flies, 'the new Traffic LP, is on Asy lum Records, who m,ade a deal with English-based Island Recdrds. Since Dylan had switched from CBS to Asylum, Asylum agreed to have Island distribute Dylan's Planet Waves LP if Asylum could distribute the Traffic LP in the States.


Dusk dusts slowly across the cl o ud f!ecl ;ed s!;y, and I sit by, outside a '.1ouse w:1ere no body lives in an ea rly ,model C:1evy wi t:, bh ody-nose stains on the seat and toot'1 -trimmed fr1gernails on t :,e fl o or. Musi~ comes slowly from the speaker with a sigh, and n~ we t ty, outside a sound w:,ere somebo1ty gives li!:e a late . model Jam~s Dean wit'1 nobody-knows pains and the painter sa ys, "Heywaitaminit!" as he kriocks ' on t '.1e door . Th ough I f eel he 's ta lented and punky enough to be a pop rcick 'n' rol l st ar, app ar ently J ackson Browne isn 't in te rest ed. He seems· to be "deep into his

Traffic Jam AS THE EAGLE FLIES Traffic (Asylum/ El ecktra) ,Record companies amu se me. A s soon as their bands get an established name, the corporate mouths start watering as they see visions of dollar signs floating across the room. And it is to be expected - companies ex ist to make money . I know, such profundity ... but it of t entimes is the I people within the compani es who spout news like: "our label stri ves to be an outlet for the cultivati·on of art istically creative talent and to reach the maxi mum amount of people by support ing 0ur artists thro-~gh radio promotion, , newspaper publicity and advertising, blah, blat., blah." .

-Gary Sperrazza !


OCTOBER 10, 19-74 ii





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