Should You Stay or Go?
Responding to Infidelity in a Marriage
Anyone who has been cheated on knows it’s one of the most painful things that can happen in a relationship, so it’s no surprise that infidelity is behind 20%–40% of divorces. But after a relationship of many years that may include children, property, or a business, the decision to continue or end a relationship after infidelity is not a simple one. While men are statistically more likely to cheat than women (20% versus 13%), 61% of unfaithful men remain married, compared to 44% of unfaithful women. The reasons for this discrepancy are not entirely understood, but it is clear that many marriages do survive infidelity; cheating does not have to be a death sentence for the marriage. When a spouse has been unfaithful, the wronged partner’s friends and families will likely have a lot to say about it. From “once a cheater, always a cheater” to “stay together for the kids,” well-intentioned but ultimately unhelpful advice will abound. But assuming the unfaithful partner wants to reconcile, only the person who’s been cheated on can decide if they’re better off staying or leaving. Whether a marriage can survive infidelity will depend on a number of factors. Was the cheating a one-time indiscretion, or did an affair take place for years? Did the cheater confess, or were they caught? Do they genuinely regret their actions? The
answers to all these questions will likely play a role in whether or not trust can be rebuilt and the marriage saved.
For any marriage that’s experienced infidelity, couples counseling is the best road forward. Cheating is frequently precipitated by other relationship problems, which an impartial therapist can help couples identify and work through. A therapist can also help couples discuss the harm that infidelity caused and help partners regain trust in the relationship. Finally, even if the wronged spouse does decide to file for divorce, attending therapy in good faith will give them peace of mind that they did all they could to salvage the relationship. In the end, it’s best for some relationships to end. But couples that successfully regain trust and rebuild their marriage have happy outcomes. In fact, they eventually show the same amount of satisfaction with their relationships as those that didn’t experience infidelity. Each relationship is unique, so how each couple deals with infidelity will be, too.
Celtic Yule Cupcakes Inspired by RecipesForAPaganSoul.weebly.com
A family tradition of making cookies!
Want to add a traditional twist to your holiday season? Try these Celtic Yule cupcakes — a modern dessert for an ancient celebration.
Ingredients
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2 eggs
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2/3 cup sugar 1 1/4 cups flour
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1 1/3 cups raisins 2 tbsp hot water
1/2 cup butter
1/2 tsp vanilla extract Orange zest, to taste
3/4 tsp baking powder
2 cups powdered sugar
1 tbsp milk
Directions
1.
Preheat the oven to 375 F.
2. In a large bowl, beat together the eggs, butter, vanilla, orange zest, and sugar. 3. Add the flour and baking powder, then fold in the milk and raisins. 4. Grease a cupcake tin before pouring the batter into it. 5. Bake for 20–25 minutes or until cooked through. Let cool. 6. In a small bowl, blend the hot water and powdered sugar to create the icing. 7. Ice your cupcakes and serve!
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