TALKING IT OVER with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
SHALL I SOLICIT, OR STAY HOME?
Dr. Karramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York CHy, is a nationally known psychologist. Ho is the director of one of America's
Q. What is my place as a Christian wife with an unsaved husband? 1 accepted Christ as my Saviour two years ago, and 1 attend church regu larly. There is a Christian organiza> tion associated w ith my church which operates on voluntary contri butions. They help children of un- derpriviliged homes and ne edy groups. I enjoy helping in this cause, and I have worked in door-to-door solicitation about every day for a year. My husband greatly resents my doing this work. 1 feel that when I stay home, I’m letting down this good cause; that I am shirking a re sponsibility. Yet, when I do go out, my husband won’t give me money to take care of the bills properly and pay the rent. When I stay home, he does the part of a husband most of the time. I will appreciate your ad vice very much. A. Your place, generally speaking is at home with your husband. For you to go out at different times, after your home responsibilities have been met, may not cause resentment in your unsaved husband. But to do soliciting every day, taking time away from your home and husband, would be a hindrance to your win ning him to the Lord. Your biggest project is not some other organiza tion, but being the right kind of wife to your husband so that he may come to know the Lord. In the opening verses of the third chapter of I Peter we read, “ Like wise, ye wives, be in subjection to your husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” Today, thousands of Christian men and women stand on the thresh old of loneliness and discouragement because their husband, or wife, is an unbeliever. But in God there is an answer to every problem. A stead fast faith in His power to transform the human heart will surely bring reward. He “ is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” (Eph. 3:20). No
largest psychological clinics— Tho Christian Counseling center in Rosemead, California.
amount of doubt in the unbeliever’s heart can stand long when a Chris tian companion is lovingly keeping that heart before God. It may take years. The saved par ent may have to pay a price that seems high. They may have to spend time in prayer that had been budget ed for other things. But through prayer and co-operation with God, an unbelieving wife or husband can be brought to the only place of safety and peace—Christ Jesus. DON 'T FENCE ME IN Q. How can I keep my three-year- old in the yard? Even though he is an exceptionally good boy in regard to minding me in the home, and is a blessing to my heart with his sing ing and delightful antics, he will stray from the yard every opportu nity he gets. We have allowed him to ride his tricycle in the front and back of the house the full length of the block, but have asked him not to cross the street or to play at the ends of the block where we cannot ob serve him. All his friends are older and have the liberty to go and come at will. My boy has been punished in every way imaginable, and rewarded when he has remained in the yard and complimented for it. But even though he may be dressed for church or a visit, which he dearly loves, he will disappear the moment he can. He is very bright, but I cannot have him roaming the streets any further than the limits we have allowed him. Am I wrong in my thinking? A. If you took a thousand three- year-olds and studied them, you would find that nearly all of them want to run away. This is a natural development of a child. For the first few months they were
confined to their baskets; then they were in their parents’ arms; and later a little play pen. Now they’re big enough to get around and talk— communicate with other children. This is a great, big, exciting, won derful world, and they want to ex plore it. This is- a natural result of growth and development. Such a normal child may grow up to be a very dynamic man . . . the head of a great corporation or a Christian organization. He will un doubtedly be an outgoing man, marked with l eadership ability. When you have a child who is bright, energetic, outgoing and dynamic, he will be a good leader some day. He doesn’t suddenly become a leader when he is 35 years of age; he has the characteristics of leadership at two or three years of age. Children need the guidance of their parents. They must know what is expected of them and what is “ off bounds.” However, instruction alone does not change their desire to exceed their limitations. Some times it may be necessary for a par ent to spend time with the child to remove the temptation of straying away. Punishment is not always a cure-all. When you punish a child and it has seemed ineffective, ask yourself several questions. Have you tried to find the reasons for his dis obedience? Have you shown him a better way, something better to do? When you do punish, explain why you are punishing him. After the punishment is over, make sure that he is fully restored to warm, loving child-parent-relationship. Invite other children to play with your little boy. Having other chil dren around will help to keep him in. The “ run away” stage will soon pass and become just a delightful mem ory.
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