LEAN ON ME... FOR COMFORT BY ERIN AND LARRY HERMANN
A s I heard the historic news of the House passing the bipartisan Infrastructure Bill, my thoughts reverted to the details of my own pain and grief. This bill may lead to a future of no more drunk driving through technology. A tsunami of emotions quickly washed over me, as my feelings began to unfold: from sincere joy, relief, and hope, to those familiar raw emotions. It's amazing what love can accomplish – victims, families, and a national community uniting, joining forces collectively to end impaired driving. This monumental and hopeful news brought me back to that moment when life spiraled out of control, and I wished that my son could reap the benefits, but was grateful that thousands of others would.
woman had just picked up her prescription of medical marijuana and laced it with PCP. As she drove erratically, weaving in and out around cars at over 115 mph, driving in the wrong lane, she crashed into our son head-on. Kyle initially survived the crash, but became trapped in his Jeep as it was engulfed in flames. Our dreams are often haunted with how he must have suffered in that violent, blazing crash. We cannot go back. We cannot get over it. We can only move with it – living alongside tremendous grief and loss, finding ways to walk alongside our grief, building a life around the edges of what will always be a void in our family.
The way to survive grief is to allow the pain to exist and just be, not try to cover it up, ignore or rush it. Grief festers, always unfolding and shifting, needing space to be, which can only
As many of us know, life can change in an instant. My 23-year-old son Kyle became one of those horrible statistics, killed at
the hands of a drug-impaired driver in a sudden, violent crime. The reality of living our life is now entirely changed by loss. Loss of our dear and loving child, loss of what our family once was, and loss of what could have been in years to come. Three years have flashed before my eyes; it feels like just months ago when that devastating phone call arrived at 3:20 am Scotland time from the Police Chief, 18 hours into a 15-day trip. On July 31, 2018, at 5:50 pm, Kyle was driving on a rural 2-lane roadway when a 29-year-old
happen when one leans into it. Grief is unique to each one of us. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. It’s as individualized as we are. Grief is an emotional response to any type of loss - loss of a pet, home, partnership, amputation, miscarriage, cognitive functioning, neurological impairment, coping skills, sense of personal safely, the ability to drive or hold a job, the loss of a loved one as well as so many other losses. Some of these may be secondary losses that can complicate grieving. Grief in itself is a universal
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