“A TAle of PAlm BoulevArd “ by Greg Farmer
King Ed the 1st of ORPS. Wisely, Sir Gregory had pursued an agreement with the former King, King Atherton, that once we had a new King, he would come back and fill the new King in on all the pertinent facts and officially turn over the keys, (aka prox card), to the new King. And, as requested, the two Kings met, and the Kingdom was now in the hands of King Ed the 1st to rule. But as King Atherton was walking out of the walled compound, he mentioned to King Ed that he had left three Scrolls in the desk in front of the throne. He advised King Ed, to only open them in times of trouble and turmoil. Otherwise, they should be left under lock and key until needed. Life was good in the Kingdom for many months. King Ed and Sir Gregory worked well together, as did the other knights of the rectangular table. But alas, this did not go on forever. A terrible plague would soon descend upon the Kingdom. In fact, the entire known world was so affected. This was a time of great discontent, and it had severe consequences. Revenues from fees were reduced. Our great neighbors to the North could not come down. On the bright side, for those who were here, it was really easy to get tee times. But yes, again I digress. Laws imposed from the larger ruling Kingdoms were often conflicting. The Kingdom of California would have a law that would conflict with the Kingdom of Riverside which conflicted with the Kingdom of Cathedrals. Funny side note, I have been to the Kingdom of Cathedral many times, yet I have never seen a Cathedral. Ponder that. Now Sir Gregory and the King were so confused by these conflicting laws that they had to contact the court advisors for clarification. The Kingdom of Riverside ’ s advisor was Earl Jose Arballo, who they contacted almost on a daily basis. One rule, that struck Sir Gregory as quite odd, was the pool could now be used, but only one person at a time. He thought, I can sleep in the same bed as my wife, but I can ’ t be in the same pool with her? They had many other issues, like having to close down the weights and torture facility. They had one Orpian who refused to comply. The pressure was mounting, and the King was at a loss for how to appease the Knights and the masses. He then remembered the three scrolls. He went to his desk and pulled out this scroll. Scroll #1. He untied the ribbon and unfurled it. It simply said, “ Blame the previous King ”. Hmm, he said. Could that work? He thought, I have nothing to lose. He approached the Knights, who were sitting at the rectangular table, and said, “ It was King Atherton ’ s fault ”. While some of the knights gave a rye smile, for the most part, the squabbling abated. Life in ORPS was again calm and peaceful. Our friends from the North, came back and life inside the walls was good again. Oh, of course, there were always a few disgruntled residents, but that was to be expected. But the reserve coffers were getting low, as the road project took a massive toll. The knight ’ s secretary, Lady Susan, retired, and the King wanted to have his own Court Adviser and assistant, a Kingdom Reporter and maybe a new pro to run the great green expanse. How would this be possible. He pondered this for some time before he again thought of the scrolls. He wondered how they might assist him in his desires. So, he went to his desk and retrieved scroll #2. His assistant, Lady Miranda, had to come assist the King, as his desk was so cluttered with this and that, that he could not find the drawer that contained the scrolls. She thought to herself, perhaps someday, the Kingdom will be ruled by a Queen, and surely, she will be much neater. He again untied and unfurled the 2nd scroll. It read, “ Reorganize ”. Yes, that was it! He went to the Knights of the
Once upon a time, in a land both faraway, and near, was a Kingdom, known as Outdoor Resorts Palm Springs. By the locals, ORPS. This great walled Kingdom was founded in the year of the Lord, 1984. Over the ensuing years, the village grew. Many rulers had come and gone. In more recent times, it was Governed by King Atherton of The Polo Club. King Atherton ruled from December of 2013 until February of 2020. King Atherton did not rule alone, as he had his Knights of the Rectangular table, that formed a Governing Board, to assist in guiding the large Kingdom and its hefty budget. During these years, the knights also had a leader, his name was Sir Gregory. It came to light, in January of 2020, that King Atherton was looking for greener greens to rule. One day, the King came to Sir Gregory and said he had found a new Kingdom to rule, and he would be gone in one week ’ s time. Sir Gregory was in a panic now, as the Kingdom could not be left without a King. He was very afraid that HE might actually need to take over the throne until a new King could be crowned. Fearing this greatly, Sir Gregory reached out to many former Knights and Kings on how to possibly find a new ruler. One name that arose, was that of Lord Jeffery Evans Management Matters. Sir Gregory reached out immediately to Lord Jeffery, to see if he might be of assistance. While some of the commoners do not believe in miracles, Sir Gregory certainly did. And one such miracle did indeed occur. Lord Jeffery said he was aware of a King, who was actually, a King that oversaw other King ’ s, that had just left his oversight function in the southern desert to the east. His name was King Ed of Rio Vista. This King was headed home to his wife, Lady Dora of Rio Vista and his sons, Prince David and Prince Douglas of Disneyland. He agreed to stop into the Kingdom of ORPS and at least Sit on the throne (Don ’ t go there) on a temporary basis, until a permanent King could be crowned. As King Edward rode his great steel steed onto the Palm Tree Lined (Washingtonian Palms to exact), Palm Boulevard, and approached the entrance, he was struck by the beauty of it all. The flowers were colorful, and the fountains flowed. Well, three out of four. But I digress. Which I shall do frequently. He was surprised that the walled Kingdom did not have a standard gate. In its place were two mechanical knights raising and lowering massive, albeit dull, swords. There were also armed guards, (yes, they both had arms). As he rode under the great swords, he began to fall under the spell. The spell all who enter the gates have come to understand. He knew, as we all do, he was in, the second, happiest place on earth! As he eased by the first stop sign without stopping, he turned right. He did stop at the second stop sign, as it was well lighted. His breath was taken away. The view of the snowcapped mountains, the water flowing magically out of rocks, the colorful flowers again, and the vast body of water. He vowed then, if he was to be King, his first action would be to name the body of water, “ The Gulf of ORPS! ” As he drove on, he noticed immediately, that the roads needed an expensive resurfacing. He said aloud, “ Don ’ t they know, roads are the most important asset a Kingdom can have ”. He wondered, to himself, how much reserve monies the Kingdom had in their vault. Did they even have a vault, he thought? Sir Gregory approached the “ fill in King ” and asked if he might be interested in being the “ permanent King? ” King Ed, being under the Orpian spell still, said yes. Assuming the compensation was adequate for a King of his stature, of course. Thus, ORPS had a knew King! He was crowned,
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APRIL 2025
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