Remember, “ . . . The effectual fer vent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” Prayer will not only solve the problem with the girl, but it will make a new man and woman out of the parents! Let me suggest that the parents try a new technique in talking to their daughter. Draw her out. When she expresses herself, ask her to tell you more. Keep reflecting what she says, without telling her how you feel. She needs to talk this problem over with someone, and it should be her parents. But she won’t be able to do so if you form a battle line and argue with her. She’ll clam up and walk away. Even if you disagree with what she says, ask her to tell you more about how she sees things. In weeks to come, the results will amaze you. She’ll come to realize that her par ents are people with whom she can talk without having to argue. But even more important, she will be given an opportunity to think this problem through, say it aloud and reach a reasonable solution. This dating problem might pos sibly be related to lack of sex in struction. Have you quietly and wholesomely instructed your daugh ter in sex matters since early child hood? Leaving your church is no solu tion. We don’t solve problems by running away from them. We solve them by carefully studying them, asking God’s guidance and commit ting them to Him. In addition to the suggestions offered by readers of T he K ing ’ s B usiness , I would suggest that you arrange for her to go to a summer camp. Many lives have been trans formed there. I would also recom mend that you furnish her with some excellent Christian reading material. God uses the printed page. Ask your local Christian bookseller to help you select some books or periodicals that she might be espe cially interested in. Whatever you do, stand by your daughter. Don’t separate yourself from her. God can reveal Himself to her through you if you are will ing to consecrate yourself to Him. You’ll gain nothing by getting angry at your daughter. Remember, she needs you now, and she and her family will need you in the years to come! END-
father with whom his children are anxious to spend time. Psychol ogists would tend to say, “This 15- year-old is unconsciously seeking in, her boy friend something which she has failed to find in her own father.” This may be true. But even more significant is the possibility that this father may not have given sufficient godly leadership to his family, thus the relationships in the home are very poor. Fifteen years of age is much too young for any boy or girl to make a mature judgment in such important things as courtship and marriage. What can a 15-year-old girl bring to a marriage and a family? Very little. She lacks physical and mental maturity but, even more important, she lacks experience and spiritual maturity. Every young person con sidering marriage should ask him self this question, “What can I bring to a marriage?” Thousands of babies are born into homes where parents have almost no maturity and experience to offer them. A look at the men and women listed in Who’s Who in America reveals that most of them were married at about 28 years of age. Such findings cannot be taken lightly.' The difference in ages of this man and girl is significant, but it is not an impossible barrier. A much more serious problem is the fact that one of the contemplated marriage partners is still a child, not capable of offering much to a successful marriage. Ten years dif ference in age is not great if both are at least 20 years old. There is a great difference in individuals. Some people are old at 55, while others are reasonably young at 70. A 15-year-old girl is not yet of age, so her parents can deal with her in a direct manner. However, force is not the answer. I suspect that her problem is not her dates. I think her problem is a much deeper one. Dating this man is merely an indication or a symptom of a more basic problem. If this is true, she needs love and considera tion much more than she needs force. Of course prayer is more impor tant than all else. As indicated by nearly all of the letters received, God can undertake for parents and their children if they will unreserv edly dedicate themselves to prayer.
other very happy marriage in which the husband is 32 years older than the wife. PARENTS SHOULDN'T FORCE THEM APART Woman from Calif. The mother has taken this love affair too seriously and has objected to it too loudly and used the wrong tactics. I do not think this girl loves this man even though she says she does. She says so, mainly because her mother objects so strenuously. Woman from Tex. It seems to me that the case has reached its present condition because the parents are trying to stop it in their own strength. You cannot oppose a thing like that openly. Woman from Calif. They should adapt themselves more to her mood of growing up instead of expect ing her to adjust so much to the way they want her to be. BIBLICAL APPROACH Man from Calif. In the 10th chapter of the book of Luke we learn that Martha was sincere and in dustrious in her efforts to please Jesus, but M ary chose the better part of sitting at the Master’s feet. W h y don’t you bring the family together and sit at the Master’s feet? Woman from Ariz. ■ There is not a word in the Bible that says you should be a certain age to get married. The main thing in marriage is to love one another and to build a home where Christ will be the head. BE STRICT? Woman from Calif. I don’t believe any parent should give consent to something he is opposed to, no One advantage of having a teenager of my own is that I can understand them better by their reactions, iikes and dislikes. Also, I pray the Lord to give me an understanding heart and keep me remind ed of how I was when a teenager. Then my judgment will not be too harsh. CONCLUSION N ow I would like to summarize my thinking on the problem of this 15-year-old girl dating the 25- year-old man. It is quite evident to me that the greatest problem here is the lack of a Christian “ way of life” in this family. I have noted with interest that so often girls and boys who present serious problems are those who have an inadequate “ father- figure.” That is, their father is not a man who offers real leadership to his family, is not a man who is truly devoted to Christ, and is not a matter what it is! Woman from Canada * * *
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