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TRUE CONNECTION The Power of Critical Listening in a Digital World lymanfirm.com The Lyman Firm Newsletter TELEGRAPH Amicus Curiae www.LymanFirm.com 404-267-1986 February 2019 2860 Piedmont Road, Suite 275, Atlanta, GA 30305 The Truth About Lyman Beginning a Journey Starts with Dedication to Transparency T: 404 267 1986 F: 470 745 0699 The Lyman Firm Newsletter
JULY 2024
Successful people tend to do more listening than talking, as the noted American statesman Bernard Baruch once said. Yet critical listening skills are underappreciated in our society. I’ve been reading a lot of books about psychology for my law and mediation practices. In honor of World Listening Day on July 18, it’s worth noting that the way we communicate has changed rapidly in the last 10–15 years, and not in a way that encourages critical listening. in my younger days. I lead The Lyman Firm as a proud curator of justice for the everyday person, somebody who might not have gotten a fair shake before they met me. I believe one person can be the face of a greater movement, Also called active listening, critical listening requires paying full attention to a speaker until you thoroughly understand the message before responding. It also involves noticing the speaker’s body language and tone of voice. If you and I are sitting across a table talking, you’re picking up on my movements, verbal cues, tone of voice, and eye contact. All of these signals contribute to our understanding of each other. So many people today rely on text messages, and it’s incredibly easy to misinterpret a text. I often wonder: Is that person being rude? Are they happy or sad? I don’t know because all I can see is their words. In other cases, I might think, “That guy is being a jerk!” But how do I know that guy isn’t having a bad day, just got yelled at, or lost his dog? Texts offer none of the nonverbal cues I need for critical listening. I’ve read that when people try to communicate, as little as 7% of their actual message is conveyed in their words alone, while the rest is visible in their body language and tone of voice. This is based on the 7-38-55 Rule, which psychology professor Albert Mehrabian introduced in his classic 1971 book, “Silent Messages.” The ratio is applicable when a speaker’s words conflict with their actual mood and intent — such as when your friend is mad at you when she says she is fine. When in doubt about how someone feels, pay close attention to their body language and tone of voice. The ratio also serves as a warning sign that when a texter’s emotions may conflict with their words, those digital words on your screen mean next to nothing. The understanding I try to instill in my kids is that you can’t make assumptions about what people are feeling or thinking based on only a text. The limitations of texting can cause problems in the workplace. I have worked with many people who grew up using text messaging as a primary mode of communication. (When I was in high school, Published by The Newsletter Pro • www.newsletterpro.com G eorgia is a blue-collar state — a grassroots mix of farmland, mountains, and urban development representing ever-expanding opportunities. Being a native of North Atlanta, I have spent most of my life in this fair state, cultivating both my character and my profession as I grew up. Now, I have a distinct opportunity to help those around me in ways I hadn’t anticipated and these are the everyday people — the heroes — I work for as I drive our cases forward to the fullest extent within our legal system, fighting for what’s right. My passions weren’t always for courtroom thrills, though. Growing up in Smyrna, I sought to chase a different kind of rush: the roar of the racetrack. I wasn’t half bad either, eventually taking my hobby for auto racing from amateur status in 2004 all the way to semi-pro in 2007. Unfortunately, like so many other things that went down along with the economy the following year, my racing career crashed in 2008. Shattered by the abrupt end to my racing journey due to a lack of financing, “I believe one person can be the face of a greater movement, and these are the everyday people — the heroes — I work for as I drive our cases forward to the fullest extent within our legal system, fighting for what’s right.”
James and three-year-old daughter Cleo — I am fully immersed in the fun-loving, homely, and exciting life of my family. They are my foundation, and without them nothing would be possible. But I also have a second family of sorts in my clients, whom I treat with the respect and attention a person is owed whenever they find they’re backed in a corner and need help. The pleasure I get from representing good, honest people in the courtroom is unrivaled when compared to the other fields of profession I’ve engaged in life. Oftentimes, I ask a client to share the names of the attorneys they’ve worked with on other cases. Almost none of them are able to muster an answer — the names of their lawyers completely lost in the tides of life’s trials.
I began to look for a new avenue to pour my passions into.
As we grow older and further away from our teens and 20s, we begin to realize that life isn’t always about going fast, both literally and metaphorically. It was during my post racing downtime that I realized I wanted to go back to school at Georgia State. After spending years as a writer and editor, I discovered and followed my newfound calling and began practicing law after graduating from law school. After years of unparalleled grit, drive, and success in the field of law, I was fortunate enough to be able to open my own practice in January of 2018. This new venture has even allowed me to work alongside my brother, a paralegal and case manager, in what has been one of the most exciting periods of my life. For now, our plans for the future include an imminent expansion of the firm and growing the company in ways that still allow us to keep our fundamental values and operations in check.
we were still passing notes in class.) These people use a communication style that is vastly different from mine, and we often had simple disagreements. Face-to-face conversations would often have ironed those out, but exchanges with these folks were largely confined to texting. It was a challenging experience. Critical listening can avert tension of the kind I experienced with those coworkers. It also projects trustworthiness, empathy, and an encouraging attitude. These listening skills are critical in my meetings with clients. When I spoke to a client recently about a medical issue, I was listening not only with empathy to hear what they were feeling but also from a legal perspective for details I might use in their case. One phrase I use often is, “Tell me more.” Those three little words not only validate the person who is speaking but also open up new topics and feelings of goodwill. In mediation proceedings, I listen to people on both sides of a dispute. In a little opening talk I give folks, I often tell them I understand the difficulty they have been through and want to hear everything about their experience. With those words, I validate what they’re feeling and help them feel comfortable, not only with the process but with me. As I tune in to their verbal and nonverbal cues, I tell them, “Lay it on me. I am here to listen.” I think that goes a long way toward building the kind of trust and openness we all want. That’s when I tell them that there are a million different lawyers out there doing a million different things, but when I take on your case for a serious injury or a wrongful death suit, you’ll remember me as a man who gave you the best possible chance while shooting you straight every step of the way.
At home with my wife Lindsay beside me, and our two children — our five-year-old son
-Thomas Lyman www.LymanFirm.com | 1 -Thomas J. Lyman
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The Culinary Odyssey of America’s Favorite Crustacean LOBSTER TALES
Canned Crustaceans While lobster became known as a ready food source for those living on the coast, its short shelf life made it inaccessible to those living farther inland. This all changed in the 1870s with the advent of canned foods and train travel, which made lobster even more affordable and plentiful nationwide. However, their affordability led to increased demand, which resulted in overfishing. Eventually, lobster numbers dwindled, and they became less accessible. Shellfish Revival In the 1920s, people yearned to taste lobster once more. This yearning only grew once chefs discovered that boiling the crustaceans while they were still alive helped to
It may be hard to believe, but for much of our nation’s history, you would be more likely to find lobster on the menu of a prison cafeteria than an upscale restaurant. For centuries, these crustaceans harbored a reputation as protein for the poor. In fact, lobster has only recently become a luxury item. This is the story of the lobster and how it rose from a side dish to the main course. Seafood for Settlers When settlers first arrived in America, they soon discovered the shores were teeming with shellfish, which the Native Americans often used as fishing bait and fertilizer. Lobster was so plentiful that settlers did not need to dive to catch them: They would simply
pile up on the shore like produce at a grocery store. The crustaceans, some weighing up to 40 pounds, were so prolific and cheap that it was the primary food for prisoners, workers, and children. Servants ate so much that they got
enhance their flavor — much to the lobsters’ dismay. Restaurants in New York and Boston began serving lobster on their menu, but the increased demand and scarcity made them into the expensive treat we know today. Lobster’s rise from bottom feeder to a top-shelf delicacy has changed the culinary landscape worldwide — the scrumptious shellfish is now a
sick of them and reportedly included stipulations in their employment contracts that an employer would only serve lobster a maximum of two times per week.
delicacy served worldwide.
WHY REAL MONEY CAN’T TAKE CENTER STAGE LIGHTS, CAMERA, CASH
Identical bills are illegal. Prop money can’t look identical to actual bills because of concerns about whether it could be circulated to the public and used. This happened after a “Rush Hour 2” scene where they blew up billions of dollars in prop money. Extras took home some of the fake cash and tried to use it in Las Vegas. The Secret Service got involved immediately, shutting down the shoot and confiscating the bills. If the money is a replica, it must be either 75% smaller or 150% larger than real bills. One of the most common methods studios use is printing only one side of the fake money. The design can also be altered slightly, like changing the shading or picture. Real cash can’t be destroyed. Even though blowing up or burning money on camera can pump up the action for the audience, legal tender cannot be destroyed
in movies. Anyone can be charged with a federal crime, punishable by 10 years in prison and fines for destroying money. Only the Federal Reserve has that power. Technically, it’s illegal to even flatten a penny. You can’t print money. Real currency is printed on a unique blend of cotton and linen available only to the U.S. government. Prop money can’t feel like the real deal. It has to be on paper and printed at a lower resolution. Robert De Niro didn’t like how the prop money felt in his hands while filming “Goodfellas.” To get around it, the prop master withdrew money from his bank account for De Niro to use. At the end of each scene, no one could leave until all the money was counted and returned. So, next time one of your favorite movie characters has cash to burn, remember, those are fake bills in the flames!
Have you ever wondered how moviemakers can afford to blow up piles of money on the big screen? It turns out that it’s tricky, as the government has a set of strict rules to follow when studios feature U.S. currency on screen. So, roll out the red carpet because we’re about to explore the laws of prop money.
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For many parents, the end of the school year begins a long, challenging stretch of unstructured time when children need something to do. Social media personalities are rushing to fill the gap by suggesting activities to inspire parents and kids alike to make the most of their time off. The term “bucket list” was popularized by a 2007 film of the same name. It originally denoted an inventory of experiences or achievements you hope to accomplish before you die. But the idea of figuring out what you want to do in the future is handy at other stages of life, too. Young adults and parents have embraced the term as a tool for planning summer activities. Framing her suggestions as a “summer bucket list,” one YouTuber, Advice by Angel, suggested no less than 70 summer activities, from painting old shoes or taking pictures with a Polaroid to camping on the beach, and included beautiful photos to illustrate each suggestion. Among her more creative suggestions are making Nutella pizza, cliff jumping, and a trampoline sleepover. To get your children involved, one resourceful mom, Amy Pettiford, shows on a TikTok video how she listed about 70 summer bucket list choices on a posterboard in various colorful markers and mounted it on the refrigerator. She suggests checking off activities as you do them and adding the date. Among her entries are making a leaf scrapbook, jumping over waves, painting outdoors, and building a blanket fort. Making and using these lists can teach children some valuable lessons. For example, it can inspire parents and kids to think about how they spend their days. It encourages them to do things they might not otherwise pursue, such as Pettiford’s suggestions to dance in the rain, serve a neighbor, gaze at the stars, or perform a random act of kindness. Some items a parent might add, such as Pettiford’s “go garage sale hopping,” can create an opportunity to teach children how to earn money. Adventure Awaits CRAFT A BUCKET LIST OF FUN ACTIVITIES FOR YOUR KIDS
TAKE A BREAK
QUINOA VEGGIE BOWL
This recipe is packed with protein-rich quinoa and a colorful array of vegetables. It’s ideal for a healthy lunch or a quick dinner! Ingredients
When fall arrives, your children can return to school with a sense of satisfaction that their summer vacation has been well spent!
• 1 cup diced mushrooms • 1 tsp dried oregano • Salt and pepper, to taste • 2 cups cooked quinoa
• 2 tbsp olive oil • 1 red bell pepper, diced • 1 yellow bell pepper, diced • 1 cup diced zucchini
Directions 1. Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. 2. Add bell peppers, zucchini, and mushrooms and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. 3. Add oregano, salt, and pepper and stir to combine.
4. Add the cooked quinoa and mix thoroughly. 5. Cook for an additional 5 minutes, then serve.
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404-267-1986 www.LymanFirm.com 2860 Piedmont Rd Atlanta, GA 30335
404-267-1986 www.LymanFirm.com
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE INSIDE THIS ISSUE
My Life in the Courtroom, the Home, and the Racetrack Unraveling Lobster’s Colorful Culinary History 3 Wild Divorce Settlements Ways to Invest in Yourself After Retirement Bistecca Alla Fiorentina The Most Iconic Super Bowl in NFL History Quinoa Veggie Bowl The Surprising Rules of Movie Currency Critical Listening Unlocks Understanding in Work and Life
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Plan a Special Summer With a Bucket List
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Let’s Retire These Health Myths
The Student Who’s Grounding Taylor Swift’s Flight Secrets
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The 5-Second Rule Will Make You Sick 3 Health Myths You Probably Believe TAYLOR SWIFT’S JET-TRACKING TROUBLES FLIGHT PATH FALLOUT
BOTTLED WATER IS SAFER THAN TAP WATER emissions produced by private jets, which he shares online. Though Sweeny said he never intended to cause harm to Taylor Swift or any of the other celebrities he tracks, he is using public data available to anyone; he’s just repurposing the information. His legal team said he was “engaged in protected speech Seeking out safer water alternatives increases the sales of bottled “spring water” each year. However, bottled water is more expensive, bad for the environment, and, as Dr. Morton Tavel of the Indiana University School of Medicine pointed out, over 50 percent of bottled water is just filtered tap water. The same effect can be achieved with a home filtration system. Of course, if the tap water in your area has been contaminated, bottled water is a safer alternative. However, in most circumstances, bottled water is no healthier than tap water. Swift hasn’t been able to shake it off yet. Sweeny continues to post flight CRACKING YOUR KNUCKLES CAUSES ARTHRITIS information for the singer, though he has switched to posting it on a 24-hour delay rather than in real time. The student has said he believes in transparency and has an environmental angle for what he is doing — he wants to expose the carbon emissions produced by Swift’s flights and those of other wealthy celebrities. The connection between knuckle-cracking and arthritis came from studies where participants self-reported their habits. Modern medical research has shown these results to be false. that does not violate any of Ms. Swift’s legal rights.” Further, his lawyer claims Swift’s team has failed to prove the posts have led to stalking or harm of the singer.
We live in the golden age of information. The answers to many of life’s questions are just an internet search away. Despite this readily available wisdom, we still have a bad habit of believing health-related myths. Here are three popular health “facts” that are total works of fiction. Swift’s lawyers sent the Florida student a cease-and-desist letter in December 2023, THE 5-SECOND RULE KEEPS FOOD SAFE Obviously germs and bacteria don’t really wait five seconds to pounce, but snatching your chip off the floor fast keeps most of the germs away, right? Not according to a 2006 study published by Dr. Paul Dawson. He found conclusive evidence that when food comes into contact with a contaminated surface, bacteria are transferred immediately. Even one second spent Sweeny’s site, GRNDCTRL, and social media accounts source public data from the Federal Aviation Administration on the flight details of billionaires, celebrities, and other public figures like Elon Musk, on tile, wood, or carpet is enough to infest your food with salmonella or another serious contaminant. When pop megastar Taylor Swift travels anywhere, the whole world seems to hang onto every detail. It’s all made possible by information technology student Jack Sweeny, who has been tracking her private jet and posting all the details online. claiming he was providing “individuals intent on harming her, or with nefarious or violent intentions, a road map to carry out their plans.” The star’s team also stated that the timing of stalkers seems to correlate with Sweeny’s posts about her flights.
The official stance from the John Hopkins Arthritis Center states, “There is no evidence that cracking knuckles causes any damage such as arthritis in the joints.” Still, chronic knuckle- cracking can lead to reduced grip strength, so you might want to break the habit anyway. You’ve probably heard these myths for years, but just because something is common knowledge doesn’t mean it is true. With information so easily available, always take the time to research the facts, especially when it comes to your health. Swift’s team has taken no further action, and Sweeny’s lawyer said he doubted any more legal action would be taken. As for Sweeny, he suggested that if Swift really wanted her privacy, she could register her private jet with an anonymous corporate entity and choose an ID code that is not her birthday and initials. Photo by iHeartRadioCA
Kylie Jenner, and Bill Gates. He also gets information on the fuel usage and
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