List of Values
Accomplishment Accountability Adventure Authenticity Beauty Calm Challenge
Communication Community Competition Concern for others Connection Cooperation Creativity Delight of being Democracy Determination Discipline
Discovery Diversity Equality Fairness Faith Family Freedom Friendship Fun Generosity Gentleness Global view
Goodness Gratitude Happiness Hard work Harmony
Intensity Joy Justice
Peace Perseverance Personal Growth Pleasure Power Quality of work Reliability Resourcefulness Respect Security Self-reliance Service to others
Simplicity Skill Spirituality Stability Strength Success Teamwork Tolerance Tradition Trust
Kindness Liberation Loyalty Meaning Money Oneness Openness Others’ points of view
Health Honor
Change Charity Cleanliness Collaboration Commitment
Improvement Independence Individuality Integrity Intelligence
Once you have your short list of three to four values, next write down a couple sentences or phrases describing what that value means to you. For example, if you have a value of compassion, does that mean you give yourself compassion, or one another in your family, or perhaps it’s a value for everyone you encounter? What does it look like to be compassionate? Does that mean forgiving yourself when you’ve made a mistake? Reminding your children that they are good humans when they fall short? Committing to see the best in one
another and all people? Really getting clear on what each of these values means for your family is an important first step. Once you’ve done this, find a place (or two or three) around the house where you can post these values so that everyone in your family sees them often. Over the course of the next month, talk about these values with one another, and explore what each value looks like in parenting. If we go back to the compassion example, what does it look like to parent with compassion when your child lies to you about breaking or losing something? What does it look like to
treat yourself with compassion when you lie down in bed and reflect on the way you may have yelled at your kids that day? Parenting from our values takes courage because it often means we must reflect on ways we may be falling short, and that takes a lot of vulnerability. It also means we may be judged for our parenting decisions when they don’t fit what mainstream parenting tells us we should do. With practice, what results is a steady confidence, and even a sense of ease, as we continue turning inward to find the answers for how we “should” parent.
NOLAFAMILY.COM | JULY 2023 17
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