in December, and this is normally taken in good fun by most adults. However, while this may have been seen as “good fun” in the past, it may be time to reassess the potential harm this tradition may be doing to children, and how it may be time for parents to change how they manage Santa visits. Where Did This Tradition Originate? Sometimes, traditions are so commonplace that we don’t even know when, or why, they started in the first place. The tradition of sitting on Santa’s lap has a very vague origin story, but there are some ideas on when this started. According to The New Yorker, the earliest record of a Santa in a retail shop was in 1890, and that was when department store owner James Edgar began dressing as Santa in his store, Boston Store in Brockton, Massachusetts. Within just 10 years of this first appearance, Santas began popping up in stores all across the US. Now, you will see a Santa in every shape and color, at malls and stores across the country, and families lining up for their turn. Let’s take a look at why this tradition may actually be causing more harm than joy during the holiday season. We Are What We Teach When we think about parenting, we think about all the values we try to instill in our children. We shape them as they grow, and there are certain things we need them to know, both for their safety
and their moral compass, as they age. We teach them about boundaries, consent, and to listen to what their body is telling them. If we take all of those things and apply them to a scary Santa visit, when we force a scared child to sit on Santa’s lap, we are not enforcing what we are trying to teach. According to Parenting Safe Children, forcing a child to sit on Santa’s lap simply teaches them that they are not in control of what happens to their own body, something parents have tried to teach their children since they were born. Parents spend so much time telling children that they can say “no” when they don’t want a hug from Grandma, or when a stranger tries to grab them. Now, they are in line, telling their crying child that they have to sit on this stranger’s lap to take a picture. Everyone knows Santa, the story, but the person at the mall is a stranger to a child. This situation can confuse a child and make them unsure if they really do have control over their own body, especially when parents have been teaching them about “stranger danger” and how to take ownership and say “no.” Some experts also believe that this can make a child even more vulnerable to
form of bullying. Yes, even parents can bully their children. In an article on Every Mum, Dr. Jason Coulson, a parenting expert, states that this (at the very least) is incredibly disrespectful and a form of parents using their position of power to make their kids do something they do not want to do. He stated that parents often think this memory is funny, and they look back at the picture and smile at this great moment, but when it is broken down, it is adults finding it humorous to feed off their child’s very real anxiety, and then post it to social media. We live in an age of technology, and children often have a digital footprint before they can even say the word “internet,” and parents are so accustomed to posting these pictures on the internet for the world to see (and laugh at.) That being said, it is naive to think that these pictures won’t follow your child as they grow and become aware of their presence on social media. In the end, Santa visits can be fun and hold great memories, but only if a child is willing and wanting. When parents force their children to do something they don’t want to do or are scared to do, it is not respecting their right to consent; it can be damaging, and it is just plain mean. In a world with tons of editing apps, there is no reason that parents cannot snap a smiling picture, and have a digital Santa added to the background.
assault as they age. Who Is The Bully?
While it may seem extreme to some, experts are pointing out that forcing your child to do something they clearly do not want to do is a
NOLAFAMILY.COM | DECEMBER 2023 21
Made with FlippingBook. PDF to flipbook with ease