Promise Law - December 2022

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A NEW CHAPTER December 2022 Parting Thoughts Upon Retirement

After a 36-year career in law, it’s strange to think that I never set out to become an attorney. I graduated from the Coast Guard Academy in 1977 with a degree in marine science, and I had every intention of becoming an oceanography professor at the Coast Guard Academy. But while applying to graduate school, President Reagan had other plans. My career in oceanography fell victim to budget cuts. At the time, I had been working as a marine inspector and marine investigator for several years. I inspected merchant ships to ensure they complied with the law, investigated collisions, groundings, drug use by merchant seamen, and the like. When action was to be taken against a merchant mariner’s license, we appeared before an administrative law judge. The mariner usually had an attorney, but I had to argue the Coast Guard’s case myself. I enjoyed that and decided to turn the law into my life’s work. I practiced many types of law during my time in the Coast Guard. Much of my work was criminal prosecution or defense. Later, I was a staff judge advocate, essentially acting as a district attorney guiding commanders in criminal cases and providing trust advice on other legal matters. I also spent six years judging court-martial cases. Like everyone else in the military then, my most harrowing moment in the service came on Sept. 11, 2001. As Staff Judge Advocate to the Commander of the Atlantic Area, a three-star admiral, it was my job to provide legal advice regarding the Coast Guard’s response to the terrorist attacks in both New York City and Washington DC.

But one of my favorite tasks as a Coast Guard attorney was helping my fellow Coasties create their estate plans. I enjoyed it because I helped real, ordinary people. Going to court can be exciting, but it wasn’t my passion. So, when I retired from the Coast Guard in 2003, I knew estate planning was the field I would enter. Since my career as an attorney was almost accidental, it’s perhaps even stranger to say goodbye now. I’ve been practicing estate law in small civilian firms for 19 years, the last three of which I spent with Geneva at Promise Law. As I tie up the final loose ends for my retirement at the end of 2022, I can’t help but smile and think of the firm’s motto: “Life happens. Plan on it.” Someday, every one of us will no longer be here. I’ve always thought planning for the inevitable outcome we’re all promised was crucial. Even though we’re gone, we want to make things as easy as possible for those we love. Reducing the chaos in terrible times is one of the kindest things we can do for our families. I also like to remind people that everyone has an estate with complexities. Some estates are larger than others, but we all need a plan. Over the past 19 years, I’ve most enjoyed the opportunity to meet all sorts of people and walk them through a logistically and emotionally fraught task. I love sitting down with clients and helping them meet their unique goals. I know I’ll miss it. But I want to accomplish many other things. I look forward to traveling more, spending more time with my wife Dale and sons Steve and Ben, and enjoying summers at our family lake house in Massachusetts. I also intend to dedicate more time to my lifelong hobby of collecting New England Boy Scout memorabilia. I’ve been working on a book about the subject for roughly 20 years, and it’s over 850 pages. It will never be a New York Times bestseller, and I doubt it will make a dime, but I’d love to finally have it published and live on as a resource for other collectors.

DECEMBER WORKSHOPS*

ESTATE PLANNING WORKSHOPS

Wednesday, Dec. 7 2:30–4 p.m.

Tuesday, Dec. 13 5:30–7 p.m.

*All workshops are offered virtually so you can learn in the comfort and safety of your own home! Register at PromiseLaw.com or by calling (757) 690-2470.

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Melanie Shaha is currently fighting her third brain cancer battle. For 15 years, she’s been suffering from a benign tumor on her pituitary gland. Although she doesn’t mind being sick, going to her appointments, focusing on her treatment, and talking to loved ones about her cancer, she doesn’t like looking sick. If you didn’t know Shaha, you wouldn’t realize she was battling cancer. But this suddenly changed once she lost all of her hair. She had two surgeries, in 2003 and 2006, in hopes of removing the tumor on her pituitary gland, but they weren’t successful. Then, when she began radiation therapy in 2017, the treatment caused her hair to fall out. “Not having hair [makes] you stick out like a sore thumb, and well- meaning people can say things that break your heart,” Shaha told TODAY. She didn’t like all the attention and the looks people gave her in public. So, her 27-year-old son Matt had an idea. At first, Matt joked about cutting all of his hair off to make his mother a wig. But the joke soon became a plan, and Matt followed through in 2018. Locks of Love Son Makes a Wig for His Mother

him from cutting it, but Matt wanted to help her feel confident and comfortable in her skin. So, he chopped it off and sent his locks to Compassionate Creations, a hair company in Newport Beach, California, that created a wig for his mother. Now, Shaha has a piece of her son to take everywhere with her beautiful new tresses. “The color is spectacular, and we had it cut and styled with a hairdresser. Matt said it looked great on me. It sure fills your emotional cup,” Shaha says. If you — or someone you know — would like to donate your hair to cancer patients, you can donate to Locks of Love, Wigs For Kids, Chai Lifeline, and Children With Hair Loss. Research donation centers in your area if you would like to give back locally. Holiday Shopping Scams Businesses boom during the holiday season because more people buy their products and services. But this means potential scams can also increase, but you can do a few things to ensure your personal information and banking details are safe. You may see products online or advertisements on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok that pique your interest. But before you click “buy,” ensure the website is legitimate. Search for the product on a search engine to see if the same links appear. Carefully read reviews, look for website security credentials, and research unknown retailers before purchasing. It’s better to take extra precautions to ensure your information isn’t compromised. In addition, never use public Wi-Fi when purchasing items online. You’re more likely to be hacked when the Wi-Fi connection isn’t protected or in a secure network. Hackers tap into public internet sources and intercept your data through techniques like eavesdropping. Although it’s appealing to use public Wi-Fi because you think it’s free, it’s not. You pay with your personal information and data. If you or someone you know is a victim of fraud, report the scam to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) online or by phone at 1-877-382-4357. For more information on scams, fraud, and identity theft, go to USA.gov/scams-and-frauds to learn how to protect yourself better.

After graduating from college, Matt began growing his hair out. In no time, he had long and luscious hair. His mother tried to dissuade

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emails like these are all too common; unfortunately, millions of people’s data is compromised as a result. Understandably, when you first receive these scam emails, you panic because you think they are legitimate. But remember, USPS, UPS, Amazon, and FedEx won’t ask for personal information over email. A good rule of thumb is never to click on links in emails — even from the actual company. Scammers are very good at making their emails look authentic. Instead, go to the delivery company’s website and log in to your account. If action is required, you should see a notification in your portal. Alternatively, you can call the business’s customer service line to check if their email is authentic.

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We’ve all felt anxious, guilty, fearful, and sad — it’s a part of life. Perhaps you’ve tried to avoid or suppress these emotions, but you’re not a rock. As humans, we experience these feelings all the time. Trying to control them may only make matters worse. So, instead, focus on something you can control — your actions. That’s the central premise of Mark Freeman’s mental health book “You Are Not a Rock.” He aims to teach readers how to build emotional fitness and overcome their struggles and hardships with different techniques. The book is divided into two sections titled “The Basics” and “The Transformation.” The first half is about learning basic mental health skills and unlearning ways of thinking about mental health that cause us challenges. The second half focuses on how to create and build what you want to see in your life instead of trying to avoid and control what you can’t see. As you read, you’ll learn how to recognize your problems, practice mindfulness, prioritize and follow your values, and understand your fears. The strategies in “You Are Not a Rock” are the same tactics Freeman used in his personal life, and he shares some of those stories in the book. There are exercises at the end of each chapter that Freeman highly encourages you to complete. By TIRED OF FEELING ANXIOUS AND FEARFUL? Read ‘You Are Not a Rock’ by Mark Freeman

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As I leave the legal world behind and refocus my attention, I would be remiss not to thank everyone I’ve worked with throughout my long career. I’ve had law partners and team members who have touched me over the years, including judges, probate clerks, and Commissioners of Accounts. It would be unfair to single anyone out, but if you think this note of thanks applies to you, I can assure you it does.

I leave behind Promise Law, knowing the firm and my many clients are in good hands; the firm will continue to flourish. I offer only one parting piece of estate planning advice, which I think is the most important of all: Procrastination does not serve you well. We never know exactly what lies ahead, so don’t wait. Life happens. Plan on it! –Rob Kutz

WINTER VEGETABLE SHEPHERD’S PIE

Inspired by BBCGoodFood.com

performing these exercises, you can

Ingredients

better understand the book’s contents and implement Freeman’s tactics in your life. Before Freeman helps readers begin their journey, he states that strengthening your mental health is like working on your physical health — you won’t see instant results. “Changing your brain takes time

• 6 1/2 cups potatoes, cut into large chunks • 2 tbsp olive oil • 2 onions, sliced • 1 tbsp flour • 2 large carrots, cut into rounds • 1/2 cauliflower, broken into florets

• 4 garlic cloves, sliced • 1 sprig rosemary • 15-oz can diced tomatoes plus liquid • 1/2 cup water • 1 1/2 cups frozen peas • Milk, to desired consistency

Directions

1. In a pot, boil potatoes until tender. 2. In a pan, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and cook until softened. Stir in flour and cook for 2 minutes. Add carrots, cauliflower, garlic, and rosemary and stir until softened. 3. Pour tomatoes into mix and add water. Cover and let simmer for 10 minutes, then remove lid and cook for 15 minutes until thickened. Stir in peas and simmer. 4. Drain and mash potatoes. Stir in milk to desired consistency. 5. Preheat oven to 375 F. Spoon hot vegetable mix into pie dish, then top with mashed potatoes. Bake until top is golden brown.

and effort … I’m not going to share with you any magical supplements or special mantras. This is simply a book about actions,” Freeman says in his introduction. If you’re interested in reading “You Are Not a Rock,” you can purchase your copy wherever books are sold online or in bookstores.

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PromiseLaw Life happens. Plan on it. ™ (757) 690-2470 12610 Patrick Henry Dr., Ste. D Newport News, VA 23602

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE

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Rob’s Retirement Farewell

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What Started as a Joke Became Reality

3

Winter Vegetable Shepherd’s Pie Tired of Feeling Anxious and Fearful?

Protect Your Personal Data From Scammers

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We get busy shopping for Christmas gifts online and in-store during the holiday season. It’s the season that keeps on giving — but not for all. Scammers will devise clever ways to con you out of your hard-earned money. Some will take advantage of your generosity. So, as you scroll through shopping websites and wait for your gifts to come in the mail, be sure to protect yourself from scammers. Here are some tips. Holiday Mail Scams Shipping companies will give you updates and status on your items when you order something online or ship a package off. Although this tool is excellent for tracking where your orders are, scammers will send phishing emails pretending to be these shipping companies. These emails claim your package is lost or more information is needed to process your order or shipment. Some may have a webpage link for you to submit personal information. Phishing How to Avoid Holiday Scams ’Tis the Season for Giving — Not Stealing

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