Don’t Go Chasing Unicorns BY EVAN ECKERSLEY
This is my first magazine writing gig and yet I am excitedly looking forward to being replaced by AI shortly!
Seriously! It’s an opportunity to be brave, explore whisky shelves and try something that IS staring you right in the eye. Are they really limited FOMO releases? If one million of something is produced and one million and one people wanted it then I guess, technically, that makes it limited, right? What makes them so frustratingly difficult to obtain? Let’s explore two distilleries that are most surrounded by FOMO right now: Springbank: Has dwindled from readily available to once-in- a-blue-moon allocated releases that don’t even hit the shelves at all. Why? Springbank is a never-changing yet inconstant anachronism which seems almost intentionally operated as inefficiently as possible. It’s a low production, no shortcuts or modern wizardry utilized distillery that produces: Hazelburn (3X distilled/unpeated), Springbank (2.5X distilled/lightly peated) and Longrow (2X distilled/heavily peated). No bulk malted barley is purchased, they instead use their own floor maltings equipped with tools that haven’t changed since the turn of the 19th century. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if their accountants refuse to use unproven technology like calculators since they never have to replace batteries on their abacus.
So stay with me on this one: You are browsing your favourite liquor store’s or least favourite liquor board’s new product/ special release listings when up pops that latest shiny release from distillery X. But wait, it’s not as easy as dropping it into the shopping cart icon, no… First, you have to register by jumping through hoops for one chance to be chosen to buy it. Damn, it’s a lottery bottle! Your frontal lobe spasms and FOMO kicks in. You immediately enter yourself in the lottery. Then enter your spouse. Then your neighbour who vaguely understands why you are using their name and personal information, and since you have already gone this far - you sign up your dog and maybe a few long-deceased relatives. Justification = they ALL would want you to have this bottle. Next thing you know you are seeking out if other shops are running the same bottle lottery and repeat the entire process. Sure, you are quasi-rigging the system, but you NEED that bottle because you started collecting this distillery’s whiskies back when they sat unloved on dusty shelves, right?! There it is, Fear Of Missing Out enveloping you in its grip, once again. Why does loving whisky have to be this complicated? I feel you, or at least I used to. I am here to tell you that not being able to get these bottles is a good thing.
Alternatives: If you are fixated on the Campbeltown style, these might be worth checking out:
• Glen Scotia (the other, “other” Campbeltown malt) – killing it with their releases over the past half-decade or more, and if you can find one of their indie bottlings, even better. • Loch Lomond 12 or 18 year old (from Glen Scotia’s sister distillery) – if you aren’t easily scared and like a bit of variety to your dram. • Benromach 10 or 15 year old – Not exactly Springbank but both styles have light peat, touch of coastal notes plus fruity and leathery sherry cask influences.
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the whisky explorer magazine
FALL 2023
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