Mediation Advantage Services March 2018

MAR 2018

(508) 795-1557 | www.mediationadvantage com LIFE IN BALANCE

there for them while giving each other the space we needed. I would take them to school, and my ex-husband would pick them up. That way, both of us got to see them every day. We would also alternate weekends. That plan allowed us to enjoy our special one-on-one time with our girls, and we also appreciated the time we had to ourselves (even more so when they were teenagers). Through it all, we prioritized the well-being of our children. We weren’t husband and wife anymore, but our daughters were still our daughters. Our girls are our priority, so when it came to co-parenting, that fact led our decisions. Today, I see the adventures and challenges our girls have encountered, and I’m so proud of how they’ve handled them. They’re truly incredible. I’m also proud of the way my former spouse and I co-parented them. Jasmine, my oldest, lives in Massachusetts. She’s a marketing strategist and wellness entrepreneur. Last month, she followed her wellness journey to Jamaica to become a certified Kemetic yoga instructor. Her focus is on helping others, both through healing and helping them find balance in their lives. My middle daughter, Jamese, just started a position in Los Angeles at the XPRIZE Company which is a company that IS an innovation engine. A facilitator of exponenential change and a catalyst for the benefit of humanity. Jamese has a law degree and planned to become a lawyer. During law school, she worked at the District Attorney’s office, but she soon realized that wasn’t her calling. She found herself searching for her place in the world. Wanting a change of scenery, she bought a one-way ticket to L.A. After connecting with foundations focusing on global change, she found her calling in giving back to others. Jamelah, my youngest, also cares for others as a nurse. Right now, she’s on a two-year nursing assignment in Alaska, so we don’t get to see her as often, but we’re proud to see her following her dreams. Though our version of parenting bucked many traditions, my former spouse and I collaborated to raise our daughters. They have grown up more beautifully than we ever could have dreamed, and they give us hope for the future. –Polly Tatum

In January, I celebrated the holidays with my family. For me, that means dinner with my daughters and my ex-husband. Our middle daughter, Jamese, wasn’t able to join us, so we included her using FaceTime. We spent the day talking and reminiscing, fostering our version of family. Figuring out how to co-parent after divorce is an adventure. Sometimes, the best thing for a family is for the parents to no longer be together. After recognizing that, you can decide what your family looks like and how you can still both be present for your kids. It took us a while to figure that out. BE PRESENT, WHETHER TOGETHER OR SEPARATE

Since then, our values have helped define our family.

Postdivorce, we navigated middle school, high school, college, and law school graduations — all the milestones of our kids’ lives — so that both of us could be present during their upbringing. We celebrated major holidays together and even went on a family vacation about six years after our divorce. When our daughters were younger, we had to figure out how we could both be

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