I’VE BEEN AFRAID OF BEING CALLED THE ANGRY BLACK WOMAN IF I ANSWER A QUESTION TOO DIRECTLY OR COME OFF TOO STRONG.
and colleagues question my author- ity and expertise (like the time a col- league asked if I had worked as hard as she had to get my master’s degree) has compelled me to confront these stereotypes directly. Even though this experience is far from unique to me, it still hurts—every time. I know a lot of Black people in the dance community don’t say much about the racism and stereotyping they experience because they don’t want to rock the boat, or because they’re just tired of dealing with the relentless disrespect, regardless of the degrees they hold or how good of a job they’re doing. I’ve been afraid of being called the angry Black woman if I answer a question too directly or come off too strong. When I was
younger and the only Black person in the room, I would never speak up because I already felt that I was in the spotlight. In college, I began to speak up when confronted with racist com- ments because it was already clear to me that regardless of what we do as Black people, we continue to be disre- spected. After having countless ballet teachers tell me to tuck in my behind because it was too big (“tuck tuck!”), I told one professor that this is my body type and my pelvis is exactly where it needs to be. (I also had to tell him to never touch me with his ballet stick to correct me again; I was sent home for the day for that one). When a director told me my locks were getting in the way of my
movement and distracting from the technique, I told him that my hair is part of my body and if it’s a distrac- tion maybe he should concentrate a little harder. I was surprised when he laughed and told me I was right, and that he had never thought of it as an extension of the movement. But there have been times that, in the face of a particularly appall- ing remark, I couldn’t find my voice. When I was pulled to the side by a director of a dance program, who asked me to confirm that I would not raise any racial discrimination issues against the institution because they had had “problems with black danc- ers in the past,” and they hoped I was not that kind of Black person , I was left speechless and disempowered.
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in dance SUMMER 2021 28
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