RELATiONSHiP STATUS: RELATiONSHiP STATUS: FALLiNG iN LOVE
Like many 2013 tween girls, I “Pinterested” and “Tumblred,” my way throughout adolescence. I consumed YouTube hauls, Instagram posts, and Internet blogs daily. Initially, I was so inspired, but soon it became too much for my developing mind. The posts that started to consume my feed were a step-by-step guide to being universally accepted. With the endless supply of smiling faces, I felt enforced to remain happy all the time. In the infinite sea of thigh-gaps, I was reminded to strive to be skinnier. The never-ending camera rolls of eortlessly beautiful girls, taught me to wake up earlier to do my makeup, but pretend my routine just involved rolling out of the bed. Clothes around me started to pile up as I tried to reach a stage of self-acceptance, but it was never enough. The mountain of one-time-wear polyester ate at my self-esteem fast. It was never ending; I kept pinning, reposting, and sharing. On the treadmill of social media consumption, I was doing the “12-3-30” trend with every double tap and saved album. I created a digital world of Fashion glory, constantly changing and evolving at speed too fast for even the fittest of social media “areobaholics.'' But, at one inevitable point the tread always fell o the track and my dream world of ombre hair and designer clothes was replaced with reality. Logging o meant checking into awkward middle school crushes and antagonizing acne. Suddenly the fairy dust of all my Fashion fantasies settled into a blanket of dirt settled across the street of my suburban reality. The more I gave into the fantasy, the worse I felt about myself. Fashion had led me in with coercions of happiness and bliss, but the honeymoon phase flew through my feed and a new story unfolded. I opened my eyes to life beyond the screen and realized.. Our relationship was indeed a one-way street.
Vol. IX
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4/15/22 10:38 AM
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