“Most of us have two lives, the life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.” – Steven Pressfield Resistance . For the love of God . It makes me . Completely . Insane . It feels like it ’ s a part of everything , and it can launch such a self - critical shame spiral that makes people even less likely to act because the thing that they are resisting becomes bigger and bigger , and more and more important . The more you resist whatever “it” is, the more you feel like when you finally tackle it, you have to tackle it WELL AND SUCCESSFULLY . Take a look at your life and look at any of the things you are resisting right now . Hold up let me name a few basic ones just in case you think you ’ re someone that doesn ’ t do this : 1 . Calling someone back 2 . Starting a diet or exercise routine 3 . Applying for a new job 4 . Marie Kondo - ing all the junk in your house 5 . Reading that book on your nightstand 6 . Starting a gratitude list general ) 7 . Updating the photos you have around your house 8 . Moving to be closer to ( ahem ! or further from ) family ( or journaling in

Resistance is a beast . And it seems to fluctuate in strength based on the size , importance and effort it will take to do the thing you want to do . In my experience , it walks along the shores of my mind with the other beast in my head , Ego . In my attempt to understand myself , one of the things I ’ ve picked up along the way about this asshole is that Ego is ruled by fear and will do anything it can not disrupt what it knows and to protect me from change . It is not interested in what I ’ d like to stop or start doing . It has a curated story about why things are the way they are and why I am right about all of it . Together , Resistance and Ego plot all kinds of really convincing stories about why I should stay exactly where I am . They know that I am on to them , but they are smart and conniving and they come up with very real and convincing stories about who the enemy actually is . In the past they have convinced me that not only is it not my fault , but it is in fact the fault of the other people or situations around me - my partner , my family , my job , my boss , the city I live in , the neighbours , the president - need I name more ? Basically , the message becomes - If it wasn ’ t for ….. whoever …. then this wouldn ’ t be happening . I am helpless against this all - powerful situation and so I will keep doing this thing that I do because why should * I * do the work when it is the fault of THEM ? Why should * I * be the one to reorganize the drawers when it ’ s my HUSBAND that won ’ t do the laundry ? ( Reason - you having more organized drawers will actually make your brain feel less cluttered every time you open a drawer . For real - Marie knows what she ’ s talking about .) Why should * I * quit drinking when the fucking world is on fire and half the country doesn ’ t even care ? How else am I supposed to calm down when * I can do nothing * about this neighbourhood , this country , my kids ' school ? Not to * mention * that if I stop or start doing that thing on my list - how will I even connect with the people I actually enjoy, who (for example) all like to drink? I have to keep this in my life because if I stop - then I will lose my friends and my only time to take a break from the BURNING WORLD AROUND ME . Do you see where this is going ?

9 . Cleaning your car 10 . Quitting drinking

Obviously , some of the things on this list have more gravity to them than others . Obviously , some ( quitting drinking ) will change your life completely while others ( getting rid of anything that doesn ' t “ spark joy ”) would potentially feel like a chore while doing , but you ’ d be glad to have done it when it ’ s over . Perhaps it could lead to a whole new feeling about home and your possessions !, you think . That ’ s the hope . How could you know unless you start ? And starting is the HARDEST thing to do . Once you have started most things ( as I have now started writing this piece ) you ’ re off and running , thinking “WHY DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO START THIS? THIS ISN’T SO BAD AND IN FACT I’M ACTUALLY ENJOYING IT!”

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