Ke l sey ' s boy f r i end and f ami l y we r e cons t ant l y wor ry i ng about the next phone ca l l , the next c ry f or he l p ye t she was comp l e t e l y ob l i v i ous to the f a l l -out f rom he r dr i nk i ng . She wou l d wake up and say "Wha t a f abu l ous n i ght we had l as t n i ght , " to hear "You took of f your shor t s at the concer t and threw them into the crowd, i t was awful . " Drunk wi th no memory o f he r ant i cs she cons t ant l y t r i ed to f i nd a way to keep dr i nk i ng or manage he r dr i nk i ng as she cou l d not imag i ne a wor l d wi thout i t . "I was determined to make a l cohol work and did not want to be that person, I did not want that s t i gma . ' Through co l l ege , she cont i nued apace and a t age 21 year s o l d she t r i ed to g i ve up a l coho l f or the f i r s t t ime wi th a c l ear p l an to s top dr i nk i ng f or 4 months i n anothe r va i n a t t empt to keep a l coho l i n he r l i f e and hoped tha t a f t e r 4 months o f not dr i nk i ng , she wou l d then be ab l e to dr i nk r espons i b l y . He r Nana who i s a powe r fu l ro l e mode l , a l e t t e r wr i t e r and sobe r f or decades wrot e to he r a t the t ime and to l d he r "How awesome i t was to see me sober . " Ke l sey sa i d "The s ad r ea l i t y i s t ha t wi t h a l c oho l i sm you do no t s e e t he hur t you caus e o r t he damage you ar e do i ng t o your f ami l y . I t wa s a lmo s t a s i f e v e r yone i n my l i f e wa s f e e l i ng t ha t e v e r yone ha s t o s av e Ke s l e y aga i n , wa i t i ng f o r t he nex t phone ca l l , t he nex t d i s a s t e r t o happen . " As a young s tudent , she headed to Bar ce l ona on a s tudy-abroad program tha t she was supe r exc i t ed about . She want ed to see a d i f f e r ent c i t y , prac t i se he r Span i sh ( be caus e no one t o l d he r t he y s peak Ca t a l an i n t he Ca t a l on i an c i t y ! ! ) and l i ve a gr ea t expe r i ence . Ent e r s t age l e f t a l coho l who ye t aga i n robbed Ke l sey o f a n i ght wi th f a l l out and consequences tha t cont i nue to th i s day as she works he r way through the Ca t a l on i a hor ror show wi th a the rap i s t . I can p i c tur e a young v i brant , smar t woman ar r i v i ng i n the magn i f i cent c i t y o f Gaud i i n 201 1 br immi ng wi th i deas and hope tot a l l y unawar e tha t add i c t i on had othe r i deas . Tha t n i ght add i c t i on came to town and drank he r se l f i nto ob l i v i on (and who knows wha t was put i n he r dr i nk on tha t even i ng i n ques t i on . . ) onl y to wake up the next morn i ng on a park bench i n the c i t y unawar e o f he r sur round i ngs and memor i es no one want s to wake up wi th . "I f e l t ashamed because I was dr inking and ruined what could have been an amaz ing s tudy abroad exper i ence . " The r ea l i t y i s tha t no woman , drunk or othe rwi se dese rves to have he r sa f e t y i nvaded and when tha t happens , i t i s an o f f ence . One ev i l s t range r does not a c i t y make and she was he l ped by the k i ndnes s o f s t range r s who f ound he r and got he r a l l the he l p she needed tha t day .
Wak i ng up i n a f or e i gn c i t y , compromi sed wi thout the l oca l l anguage wou l d usua l l y be enough to knock some sense i nto a human be i ng but add i c t i on doesn ' t work tha t way and he r dance wi th l i quor cont i nued f or anothe r f our year s . Ul t ima tums f rom he r then-boy f r i end and wor r i ed f ami l y d i d not cause the mi nd sh i f t tha t i s r equ i r ed f or one to embrace sobr i e t y . She was r e l ent l es s i n go i ng f orward keep i ng a l coho l i n he r l i f e . Unt i l . . . . Four year s l a t e r she f ound he r se l f back i n the c i t y o f Bar ce l ona on a work t r i p when she se t out wi th co l l eagues f or a f ew dr i nks on ar r i va l . Ke l sey was i l l - equ i pped to eve r j us t have a ' f ew dr i nks and the n i ght sp i ra l l ed as was he r pa t t e rn i nto anothe r dr i nk i ng f es t tha t f ound he r wak i ng up i n a s t range r s apar tment wi th some random guy she had me t on he r dr i nk- fue l l ed n i ght out . Who knows wha t the un i ve r se cont r i ved i n he r tha t morn i ng but thi s par t i cul ar morning was di f f erent and she vowed she neve r want ed to wake up f ee l i ng l i ke th i s aga i n and made some phone ca l l s . One of the f i rs t ca l l s she made was to her be loved grandmother "I want to get sober . " was probab l y the phone ca l l he r beaut i fu l grandmothe r had wa i t ed year s to r ece i ve and I have no doubt she sa i d a l oud 'Ha l l e l u j ah" when Ke l sey f ound an AA mee t i ng i n Eng l i sh i n the c i t y . Ke l sey spoke wi th a gent l eman ca l l ed Wi l l hos t i ng the mee t i ng by SKYPE and sought the he l p , suppor t and commun i t y she needed to f i nd he r way through tha t god-awfu l day one . She even r ece i ved he r 24Hour co i n i n Bar ce l ona and has i t on he r desk to th i s day wi th he r grandmothe r ' s co i ns . I have no doubt tha t the 12-S t ep mee t i ng saved th i s young woman ' s l i f e tha t morn i ng as wi thout i t , we wou l d not be t a l k i ng and Doughp wou l d not be rock i ng the un i ve r se wi th i t s amaz i ng i n-house cu l tur e o f suppor t f or r ecove ry and ment a l hea l th awar enes s . "AA r ea l l y he l ped me i n the beg i nn i ng , i n those f i r s t s i x months wi th the commun i t y . and connec t i ons because my who l e l i f e had been torn up , my boy f r i end had l e f t and I f ound myse l f l i v i ng i n an apar tment on my own f or the f i r s t t ime . My f r i ends we r e dr i nk i ng budd i es and work co l l eagues , so a l l o f tha t changed f or me and I had a l ot o f t ime on my own wh i ch i s how I ended up back i n the k i t chen . For me , the f i r s t year o f sobr i e t y was a t rans i t i ona l pe r i od and I got i nto yoga , vegan i sm and a l l th i ngs sobe r r ea l l y connec t i ng wi th myse l f . "
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