Why January Is ‘Divorce Month’ NEWYEAR, NEWYOU
A bad marriage tends to be unhappy year-round, but divorce follows a seasonal schedule. In recent years, January has come to be known as Divorce Month. It’s a grim moniker, but it carries some truth: More people f ile for divorce in January than in any other month. We generally see the same trend ourselves at Florida Women’s Law Group. The reasons why divorces increase at the beginning of the year are as varied as the relationships themselves, but in my experience, there are three main explanations.
want to go through another year like that again. They realize there has to be something better out there for them, even if it means being alone. Finally, people are more likely to file for divorce in January for the same reason they’re more likely to sign up for a gym membership — the new year represents a fresh start. People feel inspired at the beginning of a new year to make changes and take action on things they’ve been thinking about for a long time. Before filing a petition, most people consider divorce for quite a while. The end of
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another year causes many people to ref lect that we only have one life to live — and it’s too short to spend in an unhappy marriage. If you’ve decided to divorce, taking the first step is the hardest. That initial phone call to an attorney makes it real. When you are afraid but decide to move forward anyway, you gain new emotional strength. I see
Firstly, many people feel pressured to have a picture-perfect holiday. The season is supposed to be a joyful time of year where the family enjoys each other’s company, and divorce would shatter that illusion. Women, especially, often think the kids deserve one last “happy” Christmas before the split. In truth, divorce
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is scary, so our minds latch on to easy reasons to put off the inevitable. In my experience, many women ultimately regret the delay because they end up feeling even worse than they did before. That’s also why many realize they finally have to take action — because the pain and unhappiness have undeniably outweighed the good. Even if they didn’t feel pressure to create one last happy holiday season, it’s often a stressful time of year — and stress only amplifies a relationship’s existing problems. With time off work, the kids out of school, and extended family visiting, it’s much harder for people to ignore their unhappiness. Many people even feel like they’re putting on a show and faking happiness in front of a crowd. It can push many people over the edge into deciding they never
it in my clients all the time. It empowers them to begin making other positive changes in their lives. Divorce isn’t happy, but it is better for everybody when a relationship that isn’t working comes to an end. It’s also better for the kids when they don’t have to be around the tension and misery of unhappy parents. I believe when women leave a bad relationship behind, they become better people who can be more present for their children, family, and friends. As they say, “New year, new you” — don’t waste another year being unhappy. –Heather Qu ick
on the couch and turning off your mind for a bit (which is totally acceptable sometimes), hobbies allow you to remain mentally productive while winding down at the same time. HOBBIES ALSO PROVIDE EUSTRESS . Believe it or not, one type of stress is deemed benef icial: eustress. If you aren’t overly stressed and are feeling a little under-stimulated, a hobby can provide activity for both your mind and body to keep you feeling excited about life and ready to take on new challenges and adventures.
The Importance of Having a Hobby SKILLS THAT ENRICH US
HOBBIES OFFER A SOCIAL OUTLET.
Some hobbies involve group activities, such as bowling, sports teams, book clubs, and even wine tasting. Connecting with others offers the social support humans depend on to lead a healthy and fruitful life. Who knows? Maybe you’ll f ind some great friends who share the same passions as you!
HOBBIES DEVELOP PATIENCE.
January is National Hobby Month, and since it falls at the beginning of the year, it’s the perfect time to try something new! Hobbies add variety to your life and ensure you aren’t just living to work, so to speak. The best way to f ind a hobby you enjoy is to be open to new things. Whether it’s gardening, reading, drawing, running, f ishing, crafting, or even beekeeping, f inding an activity you enjoy is important. Here’s why!
When you take on a new hobby, you are tasked with learning something new. Whether you’re practicing a new instrument, learning a different language, or f iguring out how to make jewelry, a learning curve is involved. Building new skills takes patience, a very important attribute for success. Finding a hobby that suits you may take some exploration and trial and error, but it is all in good fun! Make it your goal to try something new or learn a new skill each month until you f ind something that sticks. Once you do, you’re sure to f ind that hobbies are both enjoyable and enriching!
HOBBIES ARE STRESS RELIEVERS.
Hobbies offer a healthy escape from your busy lifestyle by keeping you engaged in something you f ind pleasure in. Instead of just relaxing
3 New Year’s Resolutions For Parents to Be Their Best
As parents, we’re all doing the best we can — but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. The new year is a time when many people ref lect and take stock of what they can do better, and
it’s time to establish one. Activities like singing a song or reading a book are valuable ways to spend time with your kid and reinforce that they’re loved — and also help them wind down. Don’t stop with the
resolutions can be about more than just eating well or exercising more. Below, we’ve compiled some of the best new year’s resolutions for parents. Put down the devices. It seems that a lot of kids could stare at their devices all day, and a lot of adults could, too. While we’re connecting digitally with people all over the world, we’re missing out on opportunities for connection with our own families. Schedule a time every week to put the phones, tablets, and laptops away and spend some tech-free family time. Depending on the age of your kids, it can involve arts and crafts, reading a book together, playing an old-fashioned board game, or just having a conversation. The only rule is no screens allowed.
young ones; if you create a set bedtime and routine for yourself, you’ll be better rested and ready to be the best parent possible. Listen more. Do you have a habit of giving your kids a lot of orders or telling them “Not now”? We get it, you’re busy. It’s easy to fall into the trap of talking instead of listening, but taking the time to consciously listen to your child is one of the best ways to support and get to know them better. Make time to ask your kid about their day, have a conversation about that drawing or school assignment, or talk to them about how they’re feeling the next time they’re frustrated or upset. You might be surprised by what you learn.
Pick just one of the resolutions above and watch your relationship with your kids improve. The new year is a great time to take a fresh look at your parenting and decide the kind of mom you want to be.
Establish a bedtime routine. Consistent bedtimes and nighttime routines have been proven to result in better sleep and improved mood for kids, teens, and adults alike. If your child doesn’t have a bedtime routine, 2 Florida Women’s Law Group | 904-549-6553
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“I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no
other source.” – Doris Day
Meet Jacksonville Humane Society CEO Denise Deisler! ENSURING EVERY DOG (AND CAT) HAS ITS DAY
Denise Deisler found her way to the Jacksonville Humane Society almost by accident. She started her career in the Air Force; after 10 years of service, she returned to school before securing a job at the United Way. During her time there, a friend approached her about working for a local humane society.
and everyone else got euthanized. I’m proud to be part of the 20-plus year era that has moved to change that significantly,” she says.
Denise has always loved animals. “Being around them is second nature to me,” she says. “Animals have always been a part of my life, as a child and as an adult.”
“I didn’t even know they paid people to work in humane societies,” Denise ref lects, but she liked the idea of helping animals. She took a job in communications but quickly found herself filling other roles, too, eventually learning payroll, financing, and HR. Several years later, Jacksonville Humane Society reached out to recruit her. “I was actually comfortable and hadn’t entertained the idea of a move,” Denise says, “but they were very persuasive.”
Today, she has one dog and cat, which she notes is unusual — her house typically has several pets of each species. She and her husband are raising their 6-year-old granddaughter together. When combined with her work, that doesn’t leave a lot of time for hobbies. Still, she likes to read and admits, “I’m an HGTV nut.” Denise met Heather at Florida Women’s Law Group through the firm’s sponsorship of the humane society. “We’re so grateful for their support,” Denise says. “We don’t get anything done without the community. Every new
Denise has now been the CEO of the Jacksonville Humane Society for 10
years and counting. “There were a lot of issues here,” she says of her early days with the organization. Before entering this line of work, she didn’t realize how many animals were homeless and suffering — or needlessly killed. “It used to be that you did what you could that day,
company that gets involved with us can help us expand the work we’re doing.” It’s work Denise absolutely loves, she says. “I have the privilege of going home every night and knowing exactly what impact I had.”
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Heather Reflects on ‘Divorce Month’
Why Hobbies Are Important
3 New Year’s Resolutions for Parents
Meet Denise Deisler!
Get Migraine Relief by Monitoring These 5 Foods
PLAGUED BY MIGRAINES? If you regularly fall victim to migraines, you likely know that stress, lack of sleep, certain smells, genetics, and visual stimuli cause pounding headaches that send your body into utter disarray. But did you know that the foods you eat can also be the culprit? Triggers, such as certain foods, can affect your gray matter, the area in your brain that houses motor and sensory function, taste, hearing, vision, and memory. Adjusting your eating habits may help to find you some relief ! COFFEE Sometimes, the caffeine in coffee is known to actually cure some killer headaches — that’s why it’s added in migraine medications. However, just as much as it can offer relief, it can be a nasty trigger if your body is used to getting it through your morning cup of coffee — and doesn’t. Oftentimes, caffeine withdrawal is a culprit. AGED CHEESE According to the National Headache Foundation, cheeses that contain tyramine, such as feta, blue cheese, cheddar, and brie, can trigger migraines. PICKLES Tyramine is also present in pickles, raw onion, and sauerkraut. Consider swapping out some of the pickled items you enjoy for fresh ones. Be Careful With These 5 Foods
MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE (MSG) Likely, you’ve heard that MSG causes headaches, but
which foods contain enough MSG to do so? Fast food commonly is high in MSG, especially Chinese food. Snack foods, seasoning, frozen foods, and chips also include a high level of MSG. It is usually listed as an ingredient on the packaging, so check labels if you want to avoid it. CURED AND PROCESSED MEATS Hot dogs and sausages are not only inf lammatory foods, but they also contain nitrites and/or nitrates, which are known to widen your blood vessels — and that can potentially initiate a migraine. Keep in mind that not every migraine is tied to a trigger, but if it is, everyone’s triggers are different. If your trigger is food, the amount you consume also plays a role. If you begin to suspect a certain food or ingredient is a trigger, consume the same amount at the same time of day to try and identify a pattern. Then, start eliminating one food at a time to narrow down the culprit so you can adjust your diet accordingly to reduce the number of migraines you endure. While you can’t control all triggers, such as the weather or environment, you can control what you eat. And, as always, stay hydrated to keep your headaches at bay.
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