Visibility Matters
Ah-Ha Moments from Visibility Matters Training By Susan Stein Kregar, PCOA External Affairs Director
Aging with Pride
For anyone living with memory deficits, feeling safe is especially important. Because Alzheimer's and dementia are progressive conditions, pieces of who the person is slip away bit by bit. At some point, they may forget their true self. For someone who identifies in the LGBTQI+ community, they may forget who they shared their sexual orientation and gender identity with. Worse yet, they may have forgotten they “came out” at all, especially if they identified later in life. It is not unusual for a person to forget the specifics of their identity. For example, they may forget they have transitioned, had come out to a specific person, or came out entirely. They may also forget their current partner yet remember an older marriage. These scenarios can impact behaviors and thus, their safety and that of or their partners. Hearing this, speared my heart. Ah-ha number two. My maternal grandfather had Alzheimer’s and was diagnosed when the word “Alzheimer’s” was just hitting society’s radar. I heard about episodes where he did not feel safe. That, combined with forgetting who we were, caused him and our family a lot of stress and sadness.
I recently popped by the office of Sarah Bahnson, PCOA’s LGBTQI+ Initiatives Specialist to learn about the Visibility Matters Cultural Responsiveness Training. Our conversation inspired me to take the training the following week. Allies Matter As an ally of the LGBTQI+ community, I have friends and extended family who identify as non-heterosexual or cisgender. “Cisgender” means a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex registered for them at birth. Ah-ha number one. I thought I had a decent understanding of the issues older LGBTQI+ people face. Wow, I was so wrong! The Visibility Matters Training introduced me to issues that would never cross my mind. I experienced many more “ah-ha” moments during that two-hour training. Safety & Identity Matter LGBTQI+ older adults living with Alzheimer's Disease, dementia, and other memory issues deal with additional challenges heterosexual and cisgender people do not.
Sarah Bahnson presenting a workshop
I cannot imagine his “reality.” What really struck me at this training was what it is like for an LGBTQI+ person with Alzheimer's or dementia to live with and in that fear, and how that makes their loved ones feel. Ah-ha number three. In addition to forgetting their identities, some people forget their partner's or friends' sexual orientations or gender identities and may unintentionally reveal them. This can be upsetting for everyone involved and can put the person with dementia and those around them in an uncomfortable situation. Ah-ha number four.
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May/June 2024, Never Too Late | Page 29
Pima Council on Aging
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