Spiritual Survival Guide
6: Keeping It Going: Moving Beyond Survival Mode
I thought that because I’d made a decision to live a spiritual life, all or most of my pain would go away. That didn’t happen. I’ve learned to keep going—one day at a time, doing my best. Someone once said, “God does not want to make life easy. God wants to make us great.” That includes prison, and after prison, when you get out. Not “great” in the way that famous people are great; more like the people you grew up thanking God for, people you know are good. Prison is hard. But God is on your side. God wants to help you in prison to become great. God does that by giving you things—things like prayer, a Bible, time to think—and by giving you people—people who believe God is on their side and who want God to make them, and you, great.
and you may get tired of yourself. That’s normal. We were made for friendship, for connection. But we were also made to depend on God. God gives us time alone so that we can remember him and relate to him directly, without having to put up a front. Alone with God we can be ourselves, not dressed up in the rep we’ve crafted for ourselves. Alone with God we can admit when we’re lonely, when we’re scared, when we’re tired, when we’re angry. We can admit our weakness, know- ing that God is strong and God is for us. In fact, the prophet Isaiah promises that God “gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” (Isaiah 40:29). Or, as Vol- ney learned from his time alone with God, “God can deliver me from anything.” Loneliness. Time alone with God is great, but it doesn’t change the fact that we were made to be friends. “It’s not good . . . to be alone,” the Bible says. But prison is a tough place to find, make and keep friends. James, in fact, called prison “as lonely a place as a man could be.” Prison doesn’t have to be lonely. But you’ll have to work at it. You’re sur- rounded by thousands of people, each with a story, from the officers to the inmates. A good friend in prison can make all the difference: people who make good friends will have a generally good experience; people who make bad friends will have a generally bad experience. What’s a “good friend,” though? It’s not just someone who has your back. Lots of people will recruit you to be their “friends”; they’ll do favors for you and expect favors in return. The gangs, for instance. Gangs in prison are little more than friends who are indebted to each
Biggest Challenges and Frustrations
It’s hard—maybe impossible—to prepare for a place like prison. It’s a very different place from home, school, work or anywhere else. But by now, you already understand that. Somehow you’ve managed to cope with the everyday foolishness, the physical discomfort, the food, the endless rules and regulations, and so on. But beyond those everyday challenges and frustrations, there are some others that eat away at you spiritually. The inmates we talked to faced the challenges you’ll be facing. Time to yourself. “It hurts to look in the mirror and see the person who destroyed my future.” That’s what Doiakah found most challenging. Your time inside means time with yourself. Maybe at times you’ll feel trapped with yourself. You’ll think about decisions you made, people you hurt, people who hurt you. You’ll wonder what’s happening with your family and friends on the outside, and you’ll wish they came by or wrote more often. Meanwhile, you have yourself to keep you company,
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