Spiritual Survival Guide
1: Starting Well: Surviving Spiritually on the Inside
well enough. Research shows pretty clearly what doesn’t work . For example, a sense of crisis doesn’t motivate over time. Six months after surgery (or after conviction), a “new normal” kicks in. The crisis feeling fades, and so does our resolve to change. We slide back into old habits. Cold hard facts don’t do the trick, either. If they did, lots of us wouldn’t be sitting where we are today. We can get all the data in the world—but it’s just in one ear and out the other. It’s like things just don’t register
The truth is, we resist significant change and we continue to live the way we do for one of two main reasons. First, as a coping mechanism , a day-to-day strategy just to muddle through life. “I get high to deal with all the stress.” “I need to act aggres- sively because people won’t respect me if I don’t.” Second, we resist change because we’re locked into habits and addictions. “I just can’t seem to stop anymore!” And yet, in spite of all our inner resistance to change, most of us—deep down, maybe all of us—long for something more. It’s like God has instilled a hopeful instinct deep inside us that there’s more to life –more to us—than we’re experiencing right now. And so we yearn for that changed life. For real life. In the Bible Jesus says, “I have come that you may have life, and have it abundantly, to the full” (John 10:10). When Jesus says that, something inside us leaps to attention: Yes! That’s what I want! Real, abundant life! I want what Jesus has, and what Jesus says is for us! Isn’t some part of you dreaming of a life full of purpose? A life full of meaning? A life charged with significance? A life filled to overflowing with the joy of loving God and others—and being loved in return? So how do we actually get in on this new, abundant life that Jesus came to give us? How do we find the motivation to get into position for real, lasting change? Because if even “change or die” doesn’t motivate us, then neither will any of the fear-based variations— “turn or burn” or “shape up or else.” Or at least they won’t motivate us for very long. Apparently, we need an entirely different approach from “change or die.” We need something that can almost completely flip the odds in our favor. And the research tells us that there actually is a different ap- proach where the odds of that happening are 8 to 2.
somehow. Or maybe on one level, we actually know what we need to do. But on a deeper level—deep in our souls—we don’t care . Fear , of course, can be a powerful motivator—for a while. How many times have we said to ourselves, “That was crazy. Never again!” And then a little while later our denial resurfaces, “Hey maybe that wasn’t
so bad after all!” Because of the way God has wired us, we can only live with so much fear before we get desensitized to it. And then we slide right back into our same old self-destructive behaviors and thought patterns.
For some of us, guilt can be a great motivator. But again, only for a while. The truth is,
chronic guilt eats away at us and just gets us even more screwed up and resentful than we were before. And then we just spiral further down. The bigger the burden of guilt we carry with us, the more likely it is that the change in us will only be for the worse.
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