Spiritual Survival Guide
7: Surviving Spiritually Beyond Prison
Planning and Communicating
Communications Checklist
For months, Dan dreamed about his Disneyland homecoming. But as he himself pointed out, nothing could have been further from the truth. Even with a safe and stable place waiting for him at home, even with supportive family and friends, and even armed with faith and the best of intentions, Dan’s re-entry to the outside world was a bumpy and traumatic one. Looking back on his experience after the fact, what could he have done differently? What could have made his glide path smoother and his landing a more positive one? One obvious area was his lack of planning. He was so fixated on his release day that he didn’t think long and hard about what he would be doing when he got home. He didn’t communicate up front with his family about what the expectations would be when he was back. That meant that everything had to be figured out on the spot, further adding to the mess and confusion in his mind. He didn’t mentally or spiritually prepare himself for what was surely coming—he was too busy dealing with short-timer’s disease. Most of us are notoriously poor planners, of course, but what Dan could really have benefited from was the boring, painstaking work of making practical plans and communicating them with his family. We recently came across a helpful pre-release “communication check- list” that could have saved Dan some grief. Not every question would have applied directly to him (or to you), and there are some guys who have burned all their bridges, but we thought this was something that you might want to hang on to. At the very least, even if you can’t find a way to work through this checklist with someone on the outside, it can be helpful preparation for you to work through it in detail.
1. Expectations for housing. Where will you live? 2. Expectations for the Big Day (day of release). Who will pick you up? Walk through the day. What will it look like? Who will be present? 3. Expectations for parenting roles. In some cases, custody of the children. 4. Expectations for household responsibilities; who does what (finances, transportation, etc.). Discuss how things have changed and how things are now done at home. 5. Plans for employment or education. 6. Expectations for accountability in the area of time, finances, where- abouts, etc. 7. Expectations for attending church, joining a small group, or meeting with a mentor. 8. Expectations regarding friends. Whom should you associate with or avoid? 9. Substance abuse treatment. 10. Discussing the ways each of you thinks the other has changed. 11. Identifying how the children have changed. 12. Talking about the crime. What needs to be done to heal the harm that was caused?
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