Spiritual Survival Guide
5: Complicated Stuff
drugs, feelings, thought patterns, behaviors—the list is endless. And it’s not as if each of us struggles with only one or two things. Truth is, we usually have all kinds of addictions at any one time. The Bible says that one time Jesus encountered a man who was enslaved by demonic forces inside him. And when Jesus commanded the demons to show their true identity, they said, “Our name is Legion.” Literally, they said, “There’s thou- sands of us inside this one man.” (Read Mark 5:1-20 for the full story.) Addiction has some tell-tale signs. Sign #1 is tolerance: “If I could only get more, everything would be fine.” Sign #2 is withdrawal symptoms: “This really hurts.” Sign #3 is mind tricks: We play them on ourselves, sabotaging ourselves so that we can keep doing the addictive behavior. The greatest mind trick is, “I can handle it.” Sign #4 is loss of willpower: If you’re wondering if you’re addicted to a be- havior or not, try this little test. Go ahead and stop. And stay stopped. If you’re successful, congratulations, you’re not addicted. Otherwise, join the crowd. Addiction is everywhere. It’s so pervasive that we get addicted in every part of who we are—from our cells to our souls. Scientists tell us that it happens in our bodies, down to the level of our very cells, in our neurological wiring, in our brain chemistry. In response to repeated behavior or substances, our brain and our cells adapt. They form chemi- cal attachments, and new wiring develops that never fully goes away. And although we may not act on a particular behavior for a long while, the wiring is all there—ready to fire up again at a moment’s notice. Our brains never forget.
There’s a fascinating biblical passage from St. Paul that connects with this. Paul wrote in a letter about being given what he called “a thorn in the flesh,” and about how he asked God repeatedly for that thorn to be taken away. But it never was completely taken away. Instead, Paul said, God’s answer to him was, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Though God’s grace can and does meet us in our weakest places, on a physical level, at least, we’re never entirely free. Some thorns won’t ever go away. We’re not only addicted in our bodies. We’re also addicted in our minds. And that’s the biggest battleground of all. Addiction has a way of split- ting our will in two: one part of us aching for freedom, the other part dedicated to continuing the addictive behavior. And so, when one part of us tries to be free, the mind games of the other part kick into gear. One mind game is denying and repressing: I don’t have a problem. Another is rationalizing: I deserve it. Life is short. At least I’m not like them. Another is hiding, first from ourselves and then from others. It’s just my little problem. The smarter we are the more we try to complicate things—as a way of delaying quitting: I’ve just got to figure out a way to stop. Tomorrow! Just one more! Just as soon as . . . Sometimes we start saying “I can’t handle it” as a sneaky way of giving in to it—as a way of saying, “Who cares, anyway?” But that’s just another delaying tactic. Eventually we start saying, “ I can handle it, ” as yet another mind trick to get us to try to “manage” things. We’ll do anything to keep the addic- tive behavior going.
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