Spiritual Survival Guide
5: Complicated Stuff
Coordinator for years. When a new guy would come into our deck and wouldn’t be hooked up with anyone, we’d go to “the box.” The box would have toiletries, some food, little things that any inmate needs. We’d give him a bag with things he needed. That was a signal that he’s ours, he’s protected. A little while later we’d come and demand double the amount back. That’s how it is with the gang. Later, after I became a Christian, we began keeping our own box, too. Now, when a new guy comes onto the deck needing something, we go to the box and take him a bag. The difference is, we don’t demand double in return. In fact, we don’t even ask him to pay it back at all. We just tell him that God loves him and ask him to help out the next guy if he can. That’s how it is with the Christians. Before I became a Christian, I had all the benefits of being a gang chief, but something was missing. I grew up an anti-church guy in a Catholic family with a spiritist connection. I was converted during a song, sung by a singer at a faith service. To be honest, I had gone to pass messages to other inmates. But he sang “I’m so glad troubles don’t last for always. Weeping may come for a night; don’t worry, it’ll be all right.” That’s when I realized God was missing in my life, that God was what I needed to fill that void in my life. I left the gang when I reached the point that I knew I couldn’t stay any more. I had a new life, and a new identity in Christ. So I went and told them I had to leave. They knew me. They knew that I had integrity, and they could see that I didn’t have any ulterior motives. They said, “Okay, but be sin- cere about it.” They simply let me go. It surprised a lot of people.
For a while some of them couldn’t understand why I left. Some of them called me a coward. Others took my leaving as a personal betrayal. But later they watched me in my new life and came to respect me. Some even followed me out of the gang. When I meet a new inmate, I ask him, “If it’s not too much to ask, how much time were you given?” If he’s open to that, I would ask, “Are you hooked up (with a gang)?” If he was, I’d share my story with him. “Let me share something with you,” I’d tell him. “Regardless if you’re innocent or guilty of what you’ve been accused of, know that there is hope. The gang has done nothing for me, even though I had a spot. The gang is not going to do anything for you, either. In jail, all they’re going to do—if you allow them to—is to drag you into more trouble and even getting more time. “I tell you all this just to say—you need to get your priorities straight if you want to survive in this place. Please don’t allow someone to send you off on a mission. My brother, I’m not trying to tell you something I’ve not been through or seen. I’m just here to share a message of hope. “Today, I stand for the greatest organization known to mankind, the Kingdom of God. Today, I’m a follower of Jesus Christ. Ever since I gave my life to the Lord, things have started to look bright- er. My legal journey is starting to take form. Relationships that were scarred are now up and running. Even those who doubted my transformation are today convinced that serving the Lord is the right course of action in our lives. “I’m not trying to force my belief in you, but I will tell you that the Word of God says, ‘Apart from me you can do nothing’ (John
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