American Consequences - August 2020

What you find when you open the first box sets the tone: The Biden Plan to Secure Environmental Justice and Equitable Economic Opportunity in a Clean Energy Future... While Rubbing His Tummy and Patting His Head and Spinning a Plate on His Toe Ok, I invented the last part, but you get the general idea. And please excuse me for reprinting (without invention) the exquisitely dull paragraph that follows. It, in turn, sets the tone for how Biden’s general ideas are specifically presented. The Biden Plan to Secure Environmental Justice and Equitable Economic Opportunity in a Clean Energy Future... While Rubbing His Tummy and Patting His Head and Spinning a Plate on His Toe The current COVID-19 pandemic reminds us how profoundly the energy and environmental policy decisions of the past have failed communities of color – allowing systemic shocks, persistent stressors, and pandemics to disproportionately impact communities of color and low-income communities. That’s Joe telling us what he’s going to do about pollution. His “ It’s the End of the World – Poor and Minorities Hardest Hit ” attitude persists through all 564 pages. So does the pretentious

and silly verbiage – “disproportionately impact,” “persistent stressors,” “systemic shocks,” “environmental justice,” etc. Every one of the 43 platform planks seems to have been written by perfervid freshmen political- science majors in a dorm room bull session after taking methamphetamine. To give the briefest of examples, there’s this phrase from “The Biden Plan for Combating Coronavirus (COVID-19)”: “Stand up a Pandemic Testing Board to massively surge a nationwide campaign... “ The platform planks are numbingly repetitious, full of grammatical errors, and occasionally just stupid. The little Jeopardy! box that you open to read Joe’s policy prescriptions for increasing the physical safety of women is labeled “The Biden Plan for Violence Against Women.”

However, the real problem with Joe’s campaign platform is quantitative not

qualitative. All presidential candidates make a lot of promises, but there is a point where “a lot” turns into a multitude, a profusion, a passel, a slew, oodles, scads, heaps, piles, and – frankly – a shitload. And then the promises, by dint of sheer number, become lies... Joe is lying his head off. He promises a carbon-pollution-free power sector by 2035, a net-zero emissions national economy by 2050, and the creation of “millions of jobs producing clean electric power for American families and businesses,” presumably by rubbing our socks on the carpet and touching the doorknob. Plus Joe promises “decarbonizing the food

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August 2020

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