Our Hola Sober Sunday is filled with motivation and inspiration for your journey.
SUNDAY FOR THE ADVENTUROUS SOBER SOUL
AUGUST 2022
08 16 BEAUTY + FASHION 42 TAROT WISDOM
HOLA SOBER VILLAGE VOICES
FOR THE ADVENTUROUS SOBER SOUL
i YOU ARE VERY WELCOME
editor's note This past week I have been looking at the pilot of Pledge 100 which I ran earlier this year before I kick off the new program in early September. The pilot group of women was amazing and those who took the time to show up for themselves have truly benefitted from the sisterhood found in the group and the learning picked up along the way. When I started the program three weeks after my Mam died in February 2022, I openly admitted, that I did not have a clue what I was going to teach or do on the course - it would evolve. And it did evolve. It became a journey for the women in the pilot where each morning I did a video and shared something I had learned on my journey in life or sobriety and together we found sisterhood and empowerment in sobriety. "The women I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong and they handled it . They handled it a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.” I hope today's Sunday magazine gives you some time for reflection over a nice cup of coffee chilling hangover-free as the day breaks. Please join me in the sober dawn chorus as we say not today lady, not today. Susan Christina Creamer
Susan Christina Creamer EDITOR + PUBLISHER
before you
HOLA SOBER PLEDGE
Today we dare not forget that we are the heirs of that first revolution; let the word go forth that the torch has been passed to a new generation of women. Let all who hear us speak know we will bear any burden to support our Hola Sober sisters on this journey. To all sisters on high, know we are here fighting a new fight as a new set of revolutionaries who will oppose all who stand in our path, to assure the survival and the success of our sobriety, at our very core this much we pledge.
HOLA SOBER PLEDGE
WOMEN ONLY
ONLINE LEARNING FOR FREE Pledge 100 is the new Hola Sober HOLA SOBER SOBER EMPOWERMENT PROGRAM
Empowerment Program within a closed group with online kick-ass learning. Modules include science, myths, time management, and personal development. This program is designed to create sustained sobriety and a permanent upgrade to your life. It is suitable as a refresher for those in sobriety or a kick-start for those beginning their adventure. Don't bother signing up unless you are going to show up for yourself as we don't hustle at Hola Sober, we share our knowledge and support systems freely and it's up to YOU to commit and do the work. Our program includes a morning video from Susan our Founder, daily lessons, weekly closed support meetings, a chat group, and our new Tribe Online Community Platform.
Our next Pledge 100 Sober Empowerment Program will kick off on September 1st, 2022.
TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO SIGN UP FOR PLEDGE 100
JOIN NOW
BEAUTY + FASHION
AUGUST 2022
sunday
BEAUTY HAS NO AGE
For natural healthy- looking skin, drink lots of water + stay alcohol-free. Hard-earned money spent on skin products while drinking is money down the toilet. FACT.
ALCOHOL-FREE
YOUR CHOICE
NOT TODAY LADY, NOT TODAY
MAAPILIM | FACIAL MUD MASK For a weekly deep cleansing and balancing facial treatment, try this handcrafted mud mask from the quality clean grooming brand Maapilim, known for its use of natural ingredients sourced from the lush Mediterranean region. This mineral-rich mask is made with Dead Sea mud, which deeply detoxes the skin and boosts circulation. It also features high-grade olive oil to hydrate and soften, while essential oils of cedarwood, jasmine, and bergamot deliver a refreshing scent. Relax and treat your skin with this all-natural, aromatic formula.
SHOP NOW ➤
SKINMEDICA | INSTANT BRIGHT EYE CREAM Rejuvenate tired eyes with this energizing treatment from dermatologist-created brand SkinMedica. This advanced formula brightens and restores the eye area with a proprietary blend of hyaluronic acid, marine extracts, and plant-derived stem cell compounds. Banish dark circles, puffiness, sagging, and wrinkles with this comprehensive daily treatment.
Add this innovative eye cream to your regimen for instantly visible results and a dramatic improvement within eight weeks.
SHOP NOW ➤
NATUROPATHICA | CARROT SEED SOOTHING FACIAL OIL
An ultra-calming blend of soothing seed oils to hydrate the skin and prevent redness with protective carrot seed oil and anti-inflammatory evening primrose seed oil. Apply a small amount of oil to the fingertips and massage into the skin in a circular motion. What are the key carrot seed oil benefits? Carrot Seed Oil has excellent emolliency, anti-inflammation, sebum regulation, and cell energizing properties.
SHOP NOW ➤
PAI SKINCARE GLOW Famed for devising solutions to cherish and fortify delicate skin types, Pai Skincare rose to ‘beauty fame’ with their skin- strengthening rosehip oil – a potent elixir that helps to elasticize, brighten and soothe stressed or compromised complexions – expanding the range to encompass a swathe of replenishing treatments to reassure skin that’s especially vulnerable. Calming, comforting, and glow-bestowing, these versatile drops are ideal for awakening sun-hungry skin – lending a warm, summer-holiday luster while subtly plumping to dial up the ‘dew’. - Cult Beauty
SHOP NOW ➤
CAUDELIE SUNSCREEN
Centred around the exceptional age-defying powers of the grape, Caudalie is a nourishing skincare line that will transform your skin (and instantly give you über-chic French pharmacy points). Now extending their expertise to the realm of sun protection, the Vinosun Very High Protection Lightweight Cream boasts an invisible, ultra-light and fragrance-free texture that effectively shields your skin from UVA/UVB rays.
SHOP NOW ➤
AMELIORATE CLARITY BODY SPRAY
Borne out of one woman’s frustration, AMELIORATE’s creator, Annette, was desperate to eradicate her ‘chicken skin’. Having suffered from Keratosis Pilaris from an early age – a remarkably common condition which causes skin to appear rough, red and bumpy due to excess keratin (it’s especially common on the upper arms) – Annette decided to take matters into her own hands… She set about developing an exfoliating treatment and skin-smoothing body lotion, to gently resurface and deeply condition so you can liberate your limbs and bare your skin with total confidence.
SHOP NOW ➤
MAX FACTOR MASCARA Who doesn't love a decent mascara and we don't have to spend a fortune to have a super effect. Max Factor’s new False Lash Effect XXL Mascara is flying off the shelves across Europe and the USA as word gets out that this keenly priced mascara does the trick of those three times the price. This smudge-proof and clump-free mascara let us lengthen our lashes by up to 70% *and* add mega fullness .
SHOP HERE ➤
The French beauty brand, La Bouche Rouge, with its ingredients and its eco-conscious mission to make the world a more beautiful place always get my attention. Our brows have never looked better thanks to their Eyebrow Serum gel. Not only is it formulated with pistachio oil to simulate eyebrow hair growth and anti-aging green caviar extract, but it also expertly tames and sets our brows. It is a recycable glass bottle and the applicator wand is free of microplastic. What’s better than that? LA BOUCHE ROUGE EYEBROW SERUM GEL
SHOP HERE ➤
PACIFICA REUSABLE MASKS UNDEREYE (2 PACK)
Proudly 100% vegan and cruelty-free, Pacifica continues to innovate with the Reusable Masks Undereye. Coming in a cute tin that is quintessentially Pacifica, these reusable eye masks work with your current serum lineup and on their own. Easy to apply (and wash afterward), these cloud-covered masks boost hydration and stay tight to the skin so you can stick ‘em on and carry on.
SHOP HERE ➤
SUSTAINABLE FASHION
SHOP NOW ➤
SHOP NOW ➤
SHOP NOW ➤
HIGHSTREET FASHION
Crafted from lightweight cotton in a classic camel shade, this midi shirt dress has a wide pointed collar and top-stitch details. The waisted silhouette is enhanced by the belt, and the long cuffed sleeves nod to tailoring. SHOP NOW ➤ BELTED MIDI-DRESS (WEBSITE IMAGE)
CREAM KNIT AUGUST SWEATER ( WEBSITE IMAGE)
Crafted from organic cotton, this roll- neck top is cut with a draped body, deep side slits and a longer hem at the back. It's printed with neutral beige-and-cream stripes. I am in love with this sweater and feel it's the perfect sweater for over jeans or crop pants for the coming cooler evenings. I don't look too 'wintery' in this gem of a sweater! SHOP NOW ➤
CAMPER KOBARAH WHITE SANDALS
Problem: Living in Madrid, it's too hot to wear normal clothes but you still have errands you need to run. Solution: Opt for loose, airy pieces in professional. I love the LOOSE-FITTING OVERSIZED SHIRT collared shirt with short sleeves from ZARA. Front patch pocket. Side vents at the hem. Front button fastening. Keep cool while still looking totally put together. SHOP NOW ➤ BLOOSE SHIRT (WEBISTE IMAGE)
SMALL BAGS (WEBSITE IMAGE)
We got so used to carrying the bare minimum around with us during quarantine, and we fully plan to keep that minimalist streak going with petite bags that fit all (and only) the essentials—keys, wallet, mask. To be honest, I became the cross-bag or small bag queen during quarantine!!
CAMPER KOBARAH WHITE SANDALS
SHOP NOW ➤
Hola Sober
AUGUST 2022 VILLAGE VOICES
I am hugely grateful to the Hola Sober volunteer squad of hosts ( Linda, Maria, Ann, Peggi and Lyn n) who give their precious time each week holding space for women, in meetings (9-PER-WEEK) listening to and guiding them in their recovery journey. Beth MT has taken over social media while I am feeling poorly and she is doing a terrific job so I would urge you all on INSTAGRAM or TWITTER to follow and look at what she is at!! Ann (London) led an independent survey of Pledge 100 Pilot to ascertain what needed tweaking. Lynn (Perth), Shana, and Mare volunteered for analysis to ensure the September Program is kick-ass.
Hola Sober meetings and activities have that beautiful village feel of times gone by. It feels safe and warm being in a zoom room or on the Pledge 100 Empowerment Program with women from all around the world. They say it takes a village to raise a child, well it takes a village in community to share ideas, tools, education and new pathways for living a truly fulfilled life. As part of my sober routine + ritual I started writing first thing in the morning to get thoughts out of my head. I was always an early riser (what parent is not?!) and used a quiet household to construct my thoughts and set my intention for the day. I send my ramblings out into the universe to women all over the world. I do so freely and hope that they hit home with women. Who knows whether they do or not, but this is my no-hustle-space. I invest time and money weekly to ensure women have a safe and sacred space of empowerment in sobriety. This morning I am including some of the emails I have sent out over the past few weeks as a refresher and a kick in the ass where required to ensure you stay focused on the magnificence that is sobriety!
I would like to thank all these AMAZING SOBER WARRIORS who daily show up for themselves and Hola Sober ❤️
Read here
This was shared in a morning email in July. Extract from Matt Haig 'Reasons to Stay Alive." 1.
Appreciate happiness when it is there. Sip, don't gulp. Be gentle with yourself. Work less. Sleep more. There is absolutely nothing in the past you can change. That's basic physics. Kurt Vonnegut was right when he said “Reading and writing are the most nourishing forms of meditation anyone has so far found.” Listen more than you talk. Don't feel guilty about being idle. More harm is probably done to the world through work than idleness. But perfect your idleness. Make it mindful. Be aware that you are breathing. Wherever you are, at any moment, try and find something beautiful. A face, a line out of a poem, the clouds out of a window, some graffiti, a wind farm. Beauty cleans the mind. Hate is a pointless emotion to have inside you. It is like eating a scorpion to punish it for stinging you. Shower before noon.
2. 3. 4.
5.
6. 7.
8. 9.
"Move forward. Good things are up ahead."
10.
11.
Daily email
Dear Sober Queens,
There are multiple recommendations on line as to how to deal with our emotions in early sobriety which include. Walk away. If you’re angry and about to say something you’ll later regret, sometimes the best course of action is to simply walk away. Disengaging from the conflict will give you a chance to calm down and think clearly. Silence : This week something made me truly angry and upset for a vulnerable woman and rather than email or zoom or carpet bomb by email the ‘sober coach’ (an unregulated and unlicensed space) who coerced this lovely friend of mine, I have not said one single word. I chose to focus on the woman who deserves all that is good in life. AND she shall have it. And as for the ‘sober coach’ in question? Who is she? I have already forgotten her name. Distract yourself. Never underestimate the power of distraction to help you keep your emotions in control. YOUTUBE videos that make me smile or listening to a favourite song can be a great way to keep yourself from overreacting to a minor problem. Get moving. Exercise releases endorphins, which are the body’s “feel-good” chemicals. Exercise can also help distract you from your problems. Talk to someone you trust. My sober girlfriends are without question the greatest place to laugh, rant, rave, cry or talk with, who will listen without judgment. Talking about what’s bothering you can help you feel less alone during this difficult time.
“Managing feelings in recovery is an important step, because quitting alcohol often comes with a lot of powerful feelings. Abusing substances to cope makes it possible to avoid confronting emotions, but emotional sobriety can help you face and address them in a healthy, constructive way. Not only will this help keep you sober, but it will also help improve your mental well-being.” - Port St. Lucie Hospital
“It's not in you, it's on you," my grandmother used to say if I said I was sad and I didn't know what she meant because it felt like it was in me but I began to understand she was talking in English but from a Gaelic translation.
Sadness is on me. Joy is on me. Gratitude is on me.
Love is on me. Anger is on me.
The Connection Between Thoughts, Emotions, and Behavior
“It's not in you, it's on you,"
"While you can’t control your feelings, you can control how you respond. Cognitive behavioural therapy explains the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviour as a “cognitive triangle” where each aspect is connected.
The full multitude of emotions hits us in sobriety. We are present feeling all the feels and at times that can be overwhelming and tough to navigate. It being my national holiday yesterday I found myself reflecting on how to wade my way through the treacle toffee of grief when in an instant it can hit you in the pit of your stomach. It's a song on the radio, a Spring plant that reminds me of my childhood, all of it comes without a warning call and it fleetingly grabs me from this world into some liminal space between a funeral and life feeling normal.
Thoughts create feelings. Feelings create behaviours. Behaviours create thoughts.
Understanding this connection can help you avoid making poor decisions that are driven by emotion. For example, if you’re feeling anxious after watching the news, it would be better to take a digital detox and step away from the source of your anxiety than to let your anxious thoughts spark a craving that can be hard to ignore." Port St. Lucie Hospital We learn as children from the adults around us and often the learning curve is not what it should be. The reality is that we learn as we observe adults in our world coping with different situations, be that anger or joy, sadness or elation, from an early age we are students of the teachers in our kitchen family classroom.
“It's not in you, it's on you,"
In sobriety, the term emotional regulation refers to the process of recognising and controlling your feelings or reactions to feelings. Emotions aren’t inherently good or bad, but how you respond to your emotions is crucial in keeping you on track with your recovery goals.
Meditate. Mindfulness meditation has a wonderfully calming effect during times of stress. If you don’t have time for a full practice, try taking a few deep breaths instead while you repeat your favourite positive affirmations. (Please listen to Alex to calm your inner self) Write in your journal. Your journal provides a safe and private space to explore your emotions in greater detail. Over time, your journal can also serve as a record that will help you better understand what triggers specific emotional responses. Break out a sketchbook. If you have a hard time expressing yourself in words, drawing or painting can be a new way to process your emotions. No artistic talent or formal training is necessary to benefit from creative self-expression. Pray. Let your spirituality-faith be a source of comfort. Prayer has regularly been shown to ease feelings of depression and anxiety. Sober Susan is not only aware of her emotions but also manages them a hundred times better and the Gaelic sense of an emotion being ‘on you’ gives it a temporary fleeting sense that makes it so much easier on the more emotional days. I wear joy and gratitude, happiness and sadness often in equal measure and yet, my inner beautiful peace is never disturbed because that ladies, is based on one sober promise daily. Once I don't drink, I am free as a freaking bird. Whatever your emotions are this morning I hope you join me in our sober dawn chorus of saying not today lady, not today. Lots of love Susan x
Daily email
This week Linda spoke about CODEPENDENTS at one of her
“We don't have to take things so personally. We take things to heart that we have no business taking to heart. For instance, saying “If you loved me you wouldn't drink” to an alcoholic makes as much sense as saying “If you loved me, you wouldn't cough” to someone who has pneumonia. Pneumonia victims will cough until they get appropriate treatment for their illness. Alcoholics will drink until they get the same. When people with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don't love you—they are saying they don't love themselves.” ― Melody Beattie “Their entire focus was on someone or something other than themselves. Some of them had spent years of their lives doing this—worrying about, reacting to, and trying to control other human beings. They were shells, sometimes almost invisible shells, of people. Their energy was depleted— directed at someone else. They couldn't tell me what they were feeling and thinking because they didn't know. Their focus was not on themselves.” ― Melody Beattie In sobriety, as we find clarity and a sense of peace in our lives, we are stronger and more able to deal with these tendencies than we ever were with a bottle in our hand. This morning, be grateful for the clarity, embrace it and see are you being co-dependent in your behaviours and if you are, take a breath. It can be worked on and remember...
Melody Beattie writes: “Codependents make great employees. They don't complain; they do more than their share; they do whatever is asked of them; they please people; and they try to do their work perfectly—at least for a while until they become angry and resentful.” She also concludes : “Many codependents, at some time in their lives, were true victims—of someone's abuse, neglect, abandonment, alcoholism, or any number of situations that can victimise people. We were, at some time, truly helpless to protect ourselves or solve our problems. Something came our way, something we didn't ask for, and it hurt us terribly. That is sad, truly sad. But an even sadder fact is that many of us codependents began to see ourselves as victims. Our painful history repeats itself. As caretakers, we allow people to victimise us, and we participate in our victimisation by perpetually rescuing people. Rescuing or caretaking is not an act of love.” Melody also outlines, “Ever since people first existed, they have worried themselves sick about other people. They have tried to help in ways that didn't help. They have said yes when they meant no. They have tried to make other people see things their way. They have bent over backwards avoiding hurting people's feelings and, in so doing, have hurt themselves. They have been afraid to trust their feelings. They have believed lies and then felt betrayed. They have wanted to get even and punish others. They have felt so angry they wanted to kill. They have struggled for their rights while other people said they didn't have any. They have worn sackcloth because they didn't believe they deserved silk.”
Inability to reach even the most basic of decisions, as why can they be any other way, as you drink hazardously. Relationships are often co- dependent as why can they be any other, as you drink hazardously. You over-work because you are a people-pleaser and drink so hazardously, you can't see that. You suffer from guilt or anxiety which can lead to depression. Often tired because of cramming 'your' needs around those of others. You are a permanent victim in life as to why can they be any other mode of living, as you drink hazardously. Classic passive-aggressive behaviour. You suffer from an identity crisis on an ongoing basis, as you drink hazardously. meetings and it was the second time in weeks it came into view. Melody Beattie writes about it in her book: “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself.” For over a decade I looked like I was fierce, I even sounded fierce, but the reality was my secret kitchen wine escapades meant I had no self- respect, wouldn't have recognised co-dependency in a line-up, and would haven't known a boundary unless it fenced a field and there were cows in it. Being the 'no bother queen' meant that I constantly put myself in knots doing things that were both unnecessary and hugely stressful. I was lost in some shame cycle over wine o'clock, in general terms it can lead to the following clusterf*ck :
“
“Take care of yourself. People who are in codependent relationships often have low self-esteem. In order to stop being codependent, you need to start by valuing yourself. Learn more about the things that make you happy and the kind of life that you want to live. Spend time doing the things that you love to do. Work on overcoming negative self-talk and replace self-defeating thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. Also be sure that you are taking care of your health by getting the food, rest, and self-care that you need for your emotional well- being.” - Verywell Mind Blog Let's make our morning a pensive one where for today, we keep these thoughts in check and begin to notice our behaviours, the dramas in our world, the constant roller coaster of engagement in the nonsense that is not our concern. Let's practice 'not my circus, not my monkeys,' today so that we can take care of our own side of the street Ladies, please join me in the sober dawn chorus as we say not today lady, not today. Susan xxxxx
CAN YOU SLEEP IN A STORM? Daily email
I read the following at our Sunday meeting and many of you have emailed asking for the words uttered in our sacred space. I called on the beauty of words from Maria Shriver + Mitch Albom (Have a little Faith) “For many of us, the holidays are a complicated time. So many emotions come up. So many memories flood our brains. It almost requires a daily practice to keep them all in check and from bubbling over. I've found that this time of year requires a delicate dance. You may be feeling festive, joyful, or celebratory one moment, and then all of a sudden feel flooded with emotions from holidays of the past. You may find yourself missing people who are no longer part of your life, longing for traditions you no longer have, or struggling to implement new traditions. You may find yourself caught up in the madness and then find yourself trying to do your part to do less and keep it simple. Each of us comes to this time of year with our own thoughts, our own memories, our own hopes, and our own anxieties.
But this I know for sure: there are a lot of big feelings in the air. Last night, a dear friend said to me, “I wish I'd known that the goal in life was to get to a place where all the people around your table are real and true friends. I wish I'd known that what I really wanted from life wasn't fancy stuff, but a small, intimate group of people who I knew loved me and who made me feel safe, seen, and loved.” That's why this holiday, I want to focus on what's within our own individual supply chains: love, compassion, care, and understanding. Those are the gifts that are truly priceless.That is the greatest gift anyone can ask for. That's the greatest gift that life can give. That's an intention worth focusing on. Here's to setting intentions to live our wildly authentic lives.” - Maria Shriver Is your sober supply chain in check? Are you joining us at our 4.00 p.m. daily check-in knowing that in your time zone at the appointed hour, taking a moment to convene with yourself and ladies across the globe grounds us daily.
Have you put meetings in as your non-negotiable this week? Have you listened to Alexandra's meditations? Have you read Sunday Reflections? Are you in CONTACT with your sober-chat friends or group? If not, DIVE in. You don't need to know what the hell the ladies have been talking about in a chat group, just dive right in, say hello, count yourself in and watch the sober love and support tsunami take you through whatever is spinning in your universe. STOP using it ONLY when you are feeling sunny and BRIGHT and START using it for all moments, good, bad, difficult, stressful, horrible, anxiety inducing, dark - it's purpose is to support you in your truth whatever your truth is…… From a Sermon by the Reb, 1975 - Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom “A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply, 'He sleeps in a storm.' The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man. Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley. Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly.
So, he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed. He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins. He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry.And then he understands. 'He sleeps in a storm.' My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith and our beliefs our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have, I could have. We can sleep in a storm. And when it's time, our good- byes will be complete.” Put quite simply, if we take care of business, which for us, is our thing, we too can sleep in a storm when the curveballs come hurling through the front door. For me, the simple approach of putting my intention out into the universe with a simple promise of not today lady, not today as I light candles putting the world on notice that I am showing up today - works. It is critical to understand in early sobriety, that changing habits of any kind be that chocolate, wine or smoking requires effort in the early days and guess what? It will require time and effort as your energy and neural pathways begin to recalibrate.
We are becoming non-drinkers not joining some cult that operates on the margins of life, we are fully integrated members of society who happen to put zero in our glass. As the week unfolds and guest safely gather - STOP freaking apologising for being a non-drinker. Own it, ladies, truly own it. NQTD – Never Question The Decision because when you do, Moderation Mary stops by, getting into your head creating conflict and uncertainty. I don't drink that's it. World, get over it, no explanations needed to anyone about anything, it's my thing, it will always be my thing and I refuse to waste a precious moment of my life on this 'will I, won't I' conversation. I can sleep through a storm. I can sleep through a storm. Can you? Lots of love Susan x
"I FEEL LIKE THE WORD SHATTER".. Daily Email
I bought organic food, insisted on the boys eating fruit and vegetables daily, slathered them in sunscreen 365 days a year, donated to save-a-whale, recycled when it was neither hip nor cool, cried over the plight of refugees, built lego airports and Thomas the Tank stations for hours on carpeted floors and had a permanent supply of Johnsons-No-Tears shampoo. I bought the BBC’s recommended children books, supervised Santa letter writing and posted them to the North Pole, subscribed to BBC Good Food Guide for healthy kids snacks and only bought sugary drinks for high days and holidays, I made homemade Christmas decorations and was the proud owner of a family of boys whom all wore Boden (�) pyjamas for the Christmas card shot, I read endless bed-time stories, made Halloween costumes, owned multiple glue guns, scrapbooks and home-made card making kits, worked hard to provide, ticked all the boxes that the Good Mother Memo said I needed to tick before I could put on the tiara of sisterhood that we must wear at the school gate, church barbecue and social gatherings to fit into some false narrative that I believed existed.
The best way of keeping a secret is to pretend there isn't one.” ― Margaret Atwood, The new series of Handmaid’s Tale landed on HBO this week and as a lover of all things Atwood, we tuned in. The story, acclaimed dystopian novel by Canadian author Margaret Atwood, published in 1985 is set in New England in the near future and posits a Christian fundamentalist theocratic regime in the former United States that arose as a response to a fertility crisis. The Republic of Gilead strips women of all statuses, of their rights, forcing them to live out lives of servitude in a patriarchal society. The handmaids are not called by their own names in the series, their Gilead names are creating by adding “Of” to the name of their commanders, their overlords whom they serve. They’re completely stripped of their identities, taking on a moniker that reflects their status as property of the men they serve.
‘Of’ coupled with the name of the one they serve...... Ofwine, Ofvodka. Ofwhiskey. Ofbourbon. Ofalcohol. Ofbeer. Ofwineoclock. I sat and watched last night and although I know that I wasn’t forced to be ‘of’ anything other than my name, for a decade-plus I could have been called Ofirishcoffee or Ofwine or Ofwineoclock and it would have fit as I rendered myself powerless and mute in the grip of a wine bottle-a-night. I was living in my own distorted world while functioning in the world, holding down a marriage, a family, a job, travelling, making decisions, driving a car, having meatless Mondays, doing all the things that make up a life yet all the time on the way to a hangover or on the way out of one and leading a life of servitude to wine o'clock.
Ofwineoclock.
The above list could go on for pages of all the things I tried to do as a mother, as a human in charge of small humans twisting and contorting myself in a million directions to play the ultimate role and all the while things dissolved into some murky grey after a certain witching hour, not every day but here’s the point, it was the unpredictability of it all that was probably hell on earth to be around. Somewhere inside the heads of our children, they must have asked or in the case of those of you who continue to lie to yourself and ‘manage’ your drinking, which Mum, Auntie, Sister, Wife, a friend is coming home from work today? Is it the fun Mum who will dance wildly in the kitchen to Robbie Williams? Is it the Mum who will annihilate me for failing my Maths test? Is it the supportive Mum who will tell me exams don’t matter that much in life; what matters is the kindness of my heart? Is it the Mum who will storm into my room and give out wildly that I have twelve coffee cups stacked across my desk? Or is the Mum who will joke and ask me “Are you trying to corner the coffee mug market in here?” s it the Mum who will remember that my sports practice has changed from Tuesday to Wednesday and from early evening to late evening? Or is the Mum who I will need to text at least two hours before as she will not remember I told her last night? Is it the Mum who tells me that she loves us more than my Dad her ex- husband or is it the Mum who will wish him to die screaming down an alleyway under the wheels of a four-wheel-drive that she may or may not be driving? Is it the Mum who can handle grief or is the Mum who will cry endlessly in the kitchen wishing every dead person in the world to be allowed to return from wherever they are for an evening for a chat and a joke? Ofwineoclock. Of, in the control of, rendered powerless, completely stripped of our identities, taking on a moniker that reflects our status as property of the alcohol we served, Ofwineoclock. “I feel like the word shatter.” ― Margaret Atwood Ofwineoclock. We can dress it up and dress it down in any which way we choose, we can call it modern recovery, smart recovery, whateverfuckingrecovery you want to call it but the bottom line is that we MUST recover. We MUST fight all the way up the mountain not just for ourselves but all those in our care, in our world, who deserve so much more than some moniker of a mother who is in the control of an addictive substance throwing her life and her stewardship of those around her down the toilet. That’s it. Ofwineoclock needs to become Offreedom. This morning, as I look skyward to say not today lady, not today I am beyond grateful to have shed the moniker Ofwineoclock to be the living proof Offreedom and that those living within my world are no longer subjected to the question which Mum will come home from work today? If you. have not faced it, face it. If you have not accepted it yet, accept it. If you have not yet taken ownership of your life, take it. “When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass and splintered wood; like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard powerless to stop it ― Margaret Atwood, Not today lady, not today. Susan Christina xxxx
One of community (D.F.) shared this beautiful poem with the community. Who Am I? My head knocks against the stars. My feet are on the hilltops. My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life. Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny. I have been to hell and back many times. I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God. I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible. I know the passionate seizure of beauty And the marvelous rebellion
of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe. -Carl Sandburg-
"Move forward. Good things are up ahead."
One Sister shared honestly
Another Sister responded..
I think I am figuring out my identity. I no longer identify with being career-driven and successful. I no longer identify with being young. I no longer identify with being lots of things. Regarding addiction, my identity has not fully changed. I agree with Susan’s email today that this is like a war we are in. I still feel I am fighting my cravings and triggers. My identity is not yet - I am a non- drinker. It is more - I am fighting an addiction. I identify with the “trying to” mode. Trying to become someone who is a non-drinker, trying to work- out everyday, trying to meditate and journal consistently. I have not shifted my identity or beliefs about myself definitively. This scares me a bit. Somedays, I feel I have run out of sober capital and motivation. I doubt myself I thought I would love this phase of my life where I could slow down and focus on what would come next for me, and of course, it would be fabulous. Today, right now, I feel like a mess.
I can’t know your life, but I know that you are here, sharing your thoughts and frustrations and NOT DRINKING. I think this is a healthy coping mechanism. I understand not wanting to live sobriety out loud, I don’t shout it from the rooftops either, but you have been a non-drinker for at least 170-odd days! You may FEEL like someone who is “trying to”, but YOU ARE DOING IT. And you are a huge motivation for me. Life is throwing you curveballs, but I’m not sure there is a time life won’t do that.
It is life, right? It is lifey.
YOU ARE DOING IT. I wish I had answers or more comforting words. I just know that every day that A.C. wakes up sober, I believe you are stronger, you gain more of your powerful force back, and you lead by your example here. I wish you could see through my eyes what a force for good you are "
-H.M-
-A.C._
Gretha Cellar shared this poem with the community
PERHAPS.. Perhaps our dreams are there to be broken, and our plans are there to crumble, and our tomorrows are there to dissolve into todays... and perhaps all of this is all a giant invitation to wake up from the dream of separation, to awaken from the mirage of control and individuality, and embrace whole-heartedly what is present. Perhaps it is all a call to compassion, to a deep embrace of this universe in all its bliss and pain and bitter-sweet glory. Perhaps we were never really in control of our lives, and perhaps we are constantly invited to remember this, since we constantly forget. -Jeff Foster-
"Move forward. Good things are up ahead."
I am A Woman A Daughter A Sister A Friend A Colleague A Wife A Mother A Godmother
An Aunty A Cousin
A Neighbour A Volunteer
A shoulder to cry on............The list is endless..... I was LOST Yes LOST down the neck and at the bottom of another bottle too many. Yes, I was slowly losing my identity and allowing the dark thoughts of "What was my purpose any more in life?" to enter and take over my headspace. I am now an Hola Sober Warrior and with a whole heart, mind and body in RECOVERY and on this path to re invent myself to the person I want to be. I am here now for the rest of my wonderful life. This is truly my chance to a better life, and to the remainder of my life. "FALL IN LOVE WITH THE HABIT AND NOT THE RESULT" James Clear
The habits build up to the results. -Mac- (Hola Sober Village Voice)
No one said this life would be easy, not even fair, at least not to me And from I’ve seen thus far that’s exactly how it’s meant to be. Good days, bad days and all the in betweens We are given this life just once to live and grasp all that we’ve seen. So why not fight the good fight, don’t go down just trying Put on your big girl boots and keep on fighting. Because this life is not guaranteed to be just or fair. You have to keep on going though, you have to care Because one day this life end, of that we are certain So bring your WHOLE self forth to others, before the close of the curtain To unveil the other side, maybe there it will be fair Until that times comes though, please love yourself with the utmost care
"Move forward. Good things are up ahead."
-Shana E.- (Hola Sober Village Voice)
you don't need to change the world; you need to change yourself.
DON MIGUEL RUIZ
Reminder “Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles. Because we are all, every one of us, living on a round rock that spins around and around at almost a quarter of a million miles per hour in an unthinkably vast blackness called space. There is nothing else like us for as far as our telescopic eyes can see. In a universe filled with spinning, barren rocks, frozen gas, ice, dust, and radiation, we live on a planet filled with soft, green leaves and salty oceans and honey made from bees, which themselves live within geometrically complex and perfect structures of their own architecture and creation. In our trees are birds whose songs are as complex and nuanced as Beethoven’s greatest sonatas. And despite the wild, endless spinning of our planet and its never- ending orbit around the sun–itself a star on fire– when we pour water into a glass, the water stays in the glass. All of these are miracles.” ― Augusten Burroughs,
Fairy farts
I don’t want to make it sound like rainbows and fairy farts but I am constantly in wonder at my ability to really feel my feelings and the depth of my feelings (both good and bad) and the ability to finally heal from the bad and the ability to nurture the good. In every single way, I am a happier human being who possesses more hope than I ever thought possible. I think that this is the brass ring we should be reaching for and the sober world should be selling not a lifetime of white-knuckling hell! I am not sick and weak for fucking ever!! If that were true then what is the point? My low would have to be pretty fucking low to reach for that load of crap!! I could go on, but I would love to see recovery groups that focused more on joy and the absolute ability to break this “addiction." - Colette Louise
SELF REMINDER
10:05
When you discover something that nourishes your soul, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.
OK
"LOVE IS THE WHOLE THING. WE ARE ONLY PIECES."
- RUMI
The women who I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. These
women are my superheroes.
I don't know ....
I don't know how many times I've survived myself and never told anyone.
SUNDAY KITCHEN HOLA SOBER
LA GILDA La Gilda can be categorised as the first ever Basque pintxo. It’s strong, salty and pickled flavour bursts in your mouth like no other. A pintxo, that no matter where you go within the Basque Country, you will find it in most of bars. The pintxo was created in the 1940s by brothers Blas and Antxon Vallés in their newly opened Bar Casa Vallés in San Sebastian where wine was served with plates of olives, guindilla peppers or salted anchovies. It is down to a regular customer called Joaquín Aramburu ‘Txepetxa’, who started to combine all three together in a toothpick. The name Gilda comes from the 1946 film with the same name starring Rita Hayworth, where the femme fatale character Gilda has the same attributes as the pintxo…salty, green and spicy.
Ingredients Pitted olives Anchovies Guindilla peppers Extra virgin olive oil
Method Use some wooden toothpicks to make your Gilda pintxos. I tend to follow this order: one olive, followed by one end of an anchovy fillet, followed by two guindilla peppers (tops off), followed by the other end of the anchovy fillet and finished with another olive. Marinade the Gildas in good quality extra virgin olive oil.
FENNEL, ROAST LEMON & TOMATOE SALAD 2 lemons 2 tbsp extra virgin oil pinch of sugar 500g mixed tomatoes (I used cherry tomatoes and some larger ones) 3 fennel bulbs 100g pomegranate seeds Ingredients Method Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6 and line a baking tray with baking parchment. Slice 1 lemon into thin rounds and spread out on the baking tray, drizzle over 1/2 tbsp oil and sprinkle over the sugar. Roast for 20-25 mins until shrivelled and caramelised in places. Keep an eye on them – you may have to take some out the oven before the others are done. These can be made in the morning and kept at room temperature. While the lemons are cooking, roughly chop the tomatoes and thinly slice the fennel, saving the fronds. Put in a bowl with the remaining olive oil, juice from the other lemon and pomegranate seeds. Season to taste, then give everything a good mix. 1⁄2 small pack tarragon leaves 1⁄2 small pack parsley leaves 1⁄2 small pack mint leaves When you’re ready to serve, roughly chop all the herbs and mix them into the salad along with the roasted lemons and fennel fronds.
“You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake.”
SELF-CARE
Fruits Daily
High In Nutrients & Low In Calories
Help You Feel Satisfied, No More Overeating
Have Their Own Sugar
Source of Vitamin & Mineral Intake
Colette Louise
card of the week
website Five of Pentacles is our card of the week and there is no masking the look of this card, these two figures have barriers, no doubt about it. They are passing by the stained glass window with the warm light shining through the pentacles. The window seems to be imploring “Come inside, it’s warm and there is a good meal and a warm bed waiting for you.” The five of pentacles speak of hardship yes but more importantly, it speaks of endurance and suggests that we are nearing the end of a long hard journey and there is rest and help near at hand. There are two figures in this card, that tells me that even though times are hard, we are not alone or the only one having to endure a tough situation. The sun can’t shine every day, in fact, it’s snowing in August on this card! Each of us faces challenges and some days they seem insurmountable. So what is the “gold” in this card you wonder? Well to borrow a line from Bruce Springsteen (again). “ I’ll wait for you, and should I fall behind wait for me.” Love grows deeper and stronger in times like this and there is your gold.
Check out from your world at 4.00 p.m. every day wherever you are in the world, to check in with yourself. Make a tea or a coffee and have a moment of gratitude for the gift of sobriety knowing your Hola Sober Sisters are doing it with you. We hold our own gift of sobriety and all women on this journey, in our hearts daily at 4.00 p.m. Join us in this simple ritual and take a brief pause in your day.
PLAY LIST
Available on our website HERE CLICK here to listen on soundcloud.
Our sober support meetings are closed keeping the groups small and allow relationships to be fostered in a sacred space of trust. The host picks a song at the end to dance out and the zoom-room becomes a feast of women dancing in joy and freedom feeling empowered and positive going into their day or week. I started it believing ending a meeting on a dance is a fun, liberating thing to do as women together and our SPOTIFY Playlist includes songs we dance to. Some of our songs inspire us, we have songs that motivate and bring joy. The Hola Sober Sisters kindly submitted their favourite songs and we have a wonderfully eclectic mix of tastes and songs for you to enjoy! Please click and enjoy!
CLICK here to listen to our play list
THE POWER OF SIX HOLA SOBER FREE RESOURCES
The Daily Digest (Daily Email ) Sign up for your daily email inspiring or kicking your ass it is as changeable as Irish weather, sign up here
01
Hola Sober Sunday A weekly splash of colour and joy, beauty, fashion, education for your sober adventure. Sign up here!
Hola Sober Magazine A Monthly explosion of colour and joy, education and sober motivation, inspiration and ideas to help you on your sober journey.
02
03
Sober Support Meetings Hola Sober offer SEVEN CLOSED sober support meetings a week for small groups ensuring there is a safe and sacred space for women to share the hard things or indeed the joyful moments on their journey.
Pledge 100 Sober Empowerment Program designed for sustained sobriety within a vibrant community of women.
04
05
Hola Sober Meditations Enjoy the HUSH series in the Hola Sober Meditation library created by the talented and fabulous Alexandra Hartley-leonard.
06
HANDMADE SILVER JEWELLERY
I make handcrafted, unique, silver and gemstone jewellery designed for each individual customer in my small bespoke silver studio based in South East England. I want you to love wearing your finished jewellery as much as I love making it. Talk to me about how I can help you create jewellery that is perfect for you. Please visit my website and reach out so we can work on your next self-care silver treat together!
GLOBAL SHIPPING Japanese word with a deep significance. From years of travel, work and art ESEKA Designs was born. Welcome to Eseka Designs, your online source of amazing gifts, clothing and accessories for your home! Each piece of artwork was named after a
SHOP + VISIT THE STORE WEBSITE
D O N A
T E
PLEASE READ
If you wish to submit for our HOLA SOBER MONTHLY MAGAZINE; please email: submissions@holasober.com
To all ladies who give permission to publish your words -thank you, Lisa Wilde, for your support and hard work. p.s. I am not a professional designer, writer, or creator, I am a woman who drank wine and now talks about not drinking as I create this magazine as a hobby project. p.p.s If there are spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, cut me some slack as this is a FREE MAGAZINE made with love. p.p.p.s This magazine would not be possible without the endless financial and loving support of my husband, and three sons. Shout out, as always, to Deb + Judith, Gee + Colette ❤️ www.holasober.com
| HOLA SOBER | Madrid | Spain | EPIC Sober Support Magazine | | Owner & Editor | Susan Christina Creamer | FREE |
Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 29 Page 30 Page 31 Page 32 Page 33 Page 34 Page 35 Page 36 Page 37 Page 38 Page 39 Page 40 Page 41 Page 42 Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Page 46 Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50 Page 51 Page 52 Page 53 Page 54Made with FlippingBook flipbook maker