One Sister shared honestly
Another Sister responded..
I think I am figuring out my identity. I no longer identify with being career-driven and successful. I no longer identify with being young. I no longer identify with being lots of things. Regarding addiction, my identity has not fully changed. I agree with Susan’s email today that this is like a war we are in. I still feel I am fighting my cravings and triggers. My identity is not yet - I am a non- drinker. It is more - I am fighting an addiction. I identify with the “trying to” mode. Trying to become someone who is a non-drinker, trying to work- out everyday, trying to meditate and journal consistently. I have not shifted my identity or beliefs about myself definitively. This scares me a bit. Somedays, I feel I have run out of sober capital and motivation. I doubt myself I thought I would love this phase of my life where I could slow down and focus on what would come next for me, and of course, it would be fabulous. Today, right now, I feel like a mess.
I can’t know your life, but I know that you are here, sharing your thoughts and frustrations and NOT DRINKING. I think this is a healthy coping mechanism. I understand not wanting to live sobriety out loud, I don’t shout it from the rooftops either, but you have been a non-drinker for at least 170-odd days! You may FEEL like someone who is “trying to”, but YOU ARE DOING IT. And you are a huge motivation for me. Life is throwing you curveballs, but I’m not sure there is a time life won’t do that.
It is life, right? It is lifey.
YOU ARE DOING IT. I wish I had answers or more comforting words. I just know that every day that A.C. wakes up sober, I believe you are stronger, you gain more of your powerful force back, and you lead by your example here. I wish you could see through my eyes what a force for good you are "
-H.M-
-A.C._
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