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405-843-6100 | 918-615-2700 | ParmanLaw.com June 2025
EMBRACE CHANGE TO PROGRESS
Clients and Friends,
be uncomfortable and disruptive. This duality resonated with me, recalling an incident from my time in Washington, D.C., when wind energy projects were in the cradle. Even the most ardent supporters often became fierce opponents when a project was scheduled near their property. They found reasons to oppose some, but not all, specific initiatives, exemplifying the “not in my backyard” sentiment. The reluctance to embrace change is akin to inertia — a force that not only governs the physical but also impacts our decision-making processes in life. We acknowledge the need for an estate plan or adoption of healthier habits but often delay taking action. Inertia grips us like an inescapable animal trap, and we convince ourselves that taking action is too taxing, too costly, or simply ineffective. The longer we succumb to inertia, the more it molds our habits, and as habits solidify, they dictate our behaviors and outcomes in life. This reflection on inertia also brings to mind the insightful words of my late friend and mentor, Dick Roberts. He wisely noted that while some suffer from hardening of the arteries, “a hardening of the attitudes” can be far more debilitating. This mental rigidity impedes our ability to adapt and advance. Indeed, overcoming inertia and embracing change is essential for progress, especially concerning our estate plans. I wholeheartedly commend those of you who have conquered inertia by establishing and maintaining your estate plans. It is imperative to remember that an estate plan is not a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor. Given life’s unpredictability, along with evolving laws and planning strategies, reviewing your plan every 2–3 years is crucial. In addition, as we have witnessed recently, financial landscapes can shift dramatically, highlighting the importance of performing an independent review of your investments. Confronting inertia by staying proactive ensures your plans remain effective and beneficial.
I hope this message finds you well and thriving. I am currently writing to you amidst a three-hour layover in the Denver airport on the way back home. Darlene and I are returning from a wonderful visit with our daughter, Aly, and her family in Portland. One of the highlights of our trip was watching our grandsons play soccer — a nostalgic moment that transported us back to when our own children were on the field. It was particularly inspiring to witness our oldest grandson, Dez, excel with an impressive hat trick, scoring three goals in a single match. This grandfather bequeathed him the nickname “Hat Trick,” although he gracefully downplayed his accomplishment as “routine.” Reflecting on this, I realized how often we underestimate our achievements, sparing little time to recognize and celebrate them. This tendency seems to exist in both our personal and professional lives. Dez may have inherited this from G-Pop, as I, too, have had to learn how to accept a sincere compliment. During the layover, an email from a friend with a thought-provoking message caught my attention: “We all want progress. Everyone hates change.” This statement encapsulates a paradox we all face. While progress is universally desired, the changes it necessitates can
“While progress is universally desired, the changes it necessitates can be uncomfortable and disruptive.”
Should you have any questions, wish to discuss potential updates to your estate plan, or want an independent review and analysis of your investments, please let us know. Remember, embracing change is the catalyst for progress, and we are here to support you on this journey.
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Protect What Matters Most YOUR FAMILY, VALUES, AND WEALTH
When people hear the term “estate planning,” they think of wills, trusts, and the legal steps to distribute assets after death. But what if there’s more to planning than just securing finances? Legacy planning goes a step further, focusing on preserving values, beliefs, and the well-being of future generations. It’s about leaving a mark that transcends material wealth — creating a lasting impact on your family, community, and causes you care about most. Though estate and legacy planning are similar in many ways, the two have key differences. You must ask yourself what you want the world to remember you for. Is it simply ensuring your assets are divided fairly, or do you want to pass down wisdom, tradition, and a sense of purpose? Protect what you built. Estate planning is the process of preparing a plan for what will happen to your property, money, and other valuable assets when you pass away. It’s focused on the financial details and the legal steps to ensure everything goes smoothly for your heirs. Your estate is not about you; it’s about what you own. Through estate planning, you create legal documents that spell out every aspect of asset distribution, ensuring there are no surprises, complications, or disputes for your loved ones.
You’ll look at how to reduce the estate’s taxes so more of what you’ve built over your lifetime goes directly to your family. The main elements in an estate plan are wills and trusts, designating a power of attorney, establishing health care directives, and choosing who will act as guardian to your children if you die or become incapacitated. Emphasize values over valuables. Legacy planning includes all of the same designations and protections, but it goes far beyond finances, getting into intangible valuables in your life. The focus is on the lasting impact you want to leave behind and the values you hope to instill in younger generations. While you think about the essentials, like who will care for your children, you also consider what you’re most passionate about. You can chronicle your personal history, the experiences that shaped you, and the life lessons that matter most through a legacy letter, a personal document to accompany your will. Legacy planning often includes family meetings so you and your loved ones can discuss your values together and learn the reasoning behind your choices. This is also an opportunity to give back to the philanthropic causes that bring you joy and purpose. If you volunteered for a nonprofit for many years, are a proud alum of your college, or want to support a social cause, you can establish charitable foundations, scholarships, or endowments in your legacy plan. Cover all the bases. Legacy and estate planning are crucial parts of a comprehensive and holistic plan for your future and the people you love. When you have both in place, they can complement each other and provide a greater sense of peace and confidence that your wishes will be respected. By combining both strategies, you address your financial and legal responsibilities while prioritizing your ethics. This comprehensive process provides for your family and secures funds to support the causes you care about. By addressing the financial and emotional aspects of estate planning, you can leave behind a legacy that secures your family’s well-being and leaves a lasting mark.
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Budget Brilliance From a Bygone Era
In a world where you can have anything delivered in a day, it’s easy to forget that less can be more. But our grandparents and great-grandparents knew the art of stretching a dollar. These timeless frugal habits aren’t just budget-friendly; they’re resourceful and surprisingly satisfying. Ready to channel your inner penny-pincher? Let’s bring these throwback habits back to life. Mend it, don’t end it. Once upon a time, people didn’t just toss a sock with a hole. Instead, you sewed it right back up! No need to rush to the store — just a few basic mending skills can save you from countless unnecessary purchases. It’s also more empowering to fix something with your own hands than tossing it — not to mention much more eco-friendly. Master the magic of homemade meals. Fast food might be convenient, but cooking from scratch is where the real savings (and flavor) happen. Think soups from veggie scraps and hearty meals made from simple pantry staples. Not only does it cut costs, but it puts you in control of your ingredients and nutrition — a win-win. Reinvent your leftovers. Gone are the days of letting food wilt in the fridge. Old-school frugal folks gave every last bite a second act. Roast chicken becomes broth. Rice gets turned into stir-fry. Stale bread transforms into French toast or bread pudding. Get creative! You’ll waste less and eat better. Choose cash over card. There’s something about handing over $20 cash that makes you think twice before spending it. Cash budgeting may feel outdated, but it’s one of the simplest ways to curb impulse buys. Envelopes marked for groceries, gas, or coffee dates give you a clear snapshot of your spending — and what’s left. No more senseless swiping! Save with secondhand savvy. Hand-me-downs were once a household norm! Today, thrift stores and vintage finds are trending again, and for good reason. Whether it’s clothing, furniture, or kitchenware, buying secondhand is kinder to your wallet and the planet. RETRO HABITS MAKE MODERN LIFE (AND PRICES) EASIER
MARGIE’S KITCHEN CHERRY BREAD
by Darlene Parman
This article is dedicated to my mother, Margie Trammell, who shared her love through home cooking. Sometimes we have food in our family’s heritage and culture that is so embedded and ubiquitous that we forget its origin. That is the case with this recipe in the Trammell/Parman family. I’m not sure from which side I adopted this recipe, but both sides have delighted in it as far back as I remember. It’s perfect for breakfast (toasted with fresh butter or cream cheese melted on top), as a sweet snack that melts in your mouth, or a dreamy dessert. I have no doubt this will quickly become a family favorite. Enjoy!
Ingredients
• 3 cups flour • 1 tsp cinnamon • 1 tsp baking soda • 1 tsp salt • 2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans • 1 1/2 cups canola oil • 3 eggs • 1 tsp vanilla • 1 can cherry pie filling
Directions 1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Butter 2 bread loaf pans. 2. In a large mixing bowl, combine first 9 ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Mix well. Carefully fold in cherry pie filling. 3. Pour into prepared baking pans and bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Test for doneness. If you want us to share a recipe in Margie’s Kitchen, please email it to Info@ParmanLaw.com. We’ll feature it in our newsletter or on our website!
So, channel some old-school genius and start living a frugal, intentional lifestyle!
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
1
Avoid Inertia to Embrace Progress
2
Pass Down More Than Just Money
3
Margie’s Kitchen: Cherry Bread
Old-School Habits That Will Save Your Wallet
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Allison Holker’s Financial Nightmare
DANCING WITH DEBT The Costly Lesson From tWitch’s Estate
When dancer Allison Holker lost her husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, unexpectedly, she wasn’t just grieving — she was hit with a financial nightmare. After his passing, Holker recently revealed she was left with a staggering $1 million tax bill, saying she’s “still in the trenches,” trying to dig her way out. Though spectators may have assumed she would inherit the wealth from his reality TV and dancing career, she inherited his debt. It’s a reminder that money problems don’t discriminate, and financial planning isn’t just about building wealth — it’s about protecting yourself and loved ones from unexpected burdens. In Holker’s new tell-all book, she said her late husband had spent money recklessly, giving away significant sums to family and friends and purchasing everything from weird art to drugs. The news blindsided her since they had always maintained separate bank accounts, and it seemed they were both managing their independent finances just fine. Though they had been married for nine years, Boss never left a will, leaving her to sort through the financial mess with no plan or instructions. Paying off his debts drained his accounts, and the challenges kept adding up to more dollar signs. The family had no medical insurance after his death because he didn’t list them on his policy. He also failed
to pay his family’s homeowners insurance and still owed car payments, which were all bills Holker had to “catch up” on. The small residuals Holker earned from Boss’ television work barely dented the tax bill.
Photo: Lexi DiStefano
Holker said she had never expected to face a substantial financial emergency like this and wishes they had planned better for the unexpected.
“I think it’s a really important conversation to have because you can’t really prep for something like this,” she said.
Holker had to navigate this financial storm with no plan in place or clear directives from her late husband, all while facing the pain of losing him. It’s an important reminder that an estate plan can help protect loved ones from overwhelming debt and legal complications when the unthinkable happens.
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