no strangers to being watched. Every decision, every calculation, every payslip is scrutinised. And if something goes wrong, people notice. Suddenly, everyone and their nan is a forensic accountant with a calculator and an attitude. And rightly so, because timely, accurate pay matters. That doesn’t stop it feeling every bit as dramatic as a firepit confrontation. Fortunately, mistakes are (in the main) few and far between. Islanders are notorious for wielding knowledge as power; scheming in corners, hiding crushes, and stirring mischief behind each other’s backs. They’ve got nothing on people who work in payroll. Payroll professionals might as well be MI5 agents. They. Know. Everything. Who got a raise, who’s on garden leave, who’s pregnant, who’s being discreetly let go. Do they spill that tea? Hell no. While Islanders would splash the tea about like the Mad Hatter, payroll pros guard secrets with the fierceness of
A single payroll error can throw as big a spanner in the works as Casa Amor, only it’s P60s and pension contributions doing their heads in rather than Zac or Zak.
a contestant guarding their spot in the final. Loyalty Island, indeed. Plot Twist! And just like the best Love Island plot twists, sometimes payroll can bring a surprise romance as episodes progress. You take a role in a payroll department, assuming it’s just another day job for someone like you who’s good with numbers or prides themself on their attention to detail. Annnd then you discover the satisfaction of balancing a payroll run to the penny, the thrill of decoding a missive from HMRC on the first try, the unexplainable high of solving a payslip discrepancy from a single clue like you’re Benedict flipping Cumberbatch’s
Sherlock; all wise frowns and genius. Suddenly, that job has morphed into a career, into progression up an actual ladder. You’re hooked on payroll! Just like viewers who swore they’d never watch another season of Love Island yet find themselves on X at 2am, moaning that Coco deserved to be in the main cast, not wasted on Casa Amor. Working in payroll might not net you a Boohoo sponsorship or send your follower count stratospheric. But by charting your own career path, you can make it every bit as memorable, life-altering and iconic an experience. And just like the Islanders, there’s a chance you’ll fall in love.
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ISSUE 13 GLOBAL PAYROLL MAGAZINE
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