Hola Sober Morning Reflection
by Susan Christina
Dear Sober Queens, "Sit on that mat and handle whatever is about to happen here without running out the door." Glennon Doyle This came to mind yesterday when some women were sharing their truth at our Hola Sober Sunday chi chi ‘Get Together’ aka meeting; I am not sure why people are afraid to call them meetings…… Anyway, ‘sit on the mat’ came to mind as the appropriate response this morning to share because let's be honest, being sober does not mean that our lives are suddenly transform into an episode of The Waltons. I have never ascended the stairs in sobriety shouting 'Goodnight John Boy' (and if I did I am drinking again as no one called John lives in my house…….and I am being unfaithful…….) ……………. but being sober does mean that we can navigate life and all it chucks at us a whole lot better than if we were in the drink-hungover-regret-shame- bang-bust-cycle. In the wine years I was so good at running from things emotionally that I could have represented Ireland at an Olympic level except I would have been too drunk for a time-trial if it unfolded after wine o clock addiction hour. To the outside world, I looked like I was handling the world but the only thing I was doing was containing the truth in a Tupperware container until the appointed hour of zoning out when it spilled over into a glass. I couldn't have sat on the mat through those years if my life had depended on it and yet I am now an expert at sitting on the mat, in fact I relish sitting on the mat because I have learned when I come off the mat I am stronger, bolder sometimes weak and exhausted but also grateful I survived whatever I wanted to run from and damn proud that I didn't.
"“Sit on that mat and handle whatever is about to happen here without running out the door.” - Queen Glennon Many of you are engaged in storms, wailing wild storms whether that is early sobriety or curveballs that life has thrown in your pathway and it can seem scary and frightening. If you are lonely, you are lonely. If you are sad, you are sad. If you have COVID like me, you have f*cking COVID. If your son or daughter is a pain in the ass, they are a pain in the ass. If your son or daughter is in active addiction, they are in active addiction. “Sit on that mat and handle whatever is about to happen here without running out the door.” - Queen Glennon Curve balls come. People disappoint. Sad things happen. You get bad haircuts; I swear a woman emailed me last year about a bad haircut. People show their true colours and that can be shocking. You run out of milk. "You have been offered the gift of crisis. Kathleen Norris reminded me last night that the Greek root of the word crisis is “to sift.” As in to shake out the excesses and leave only what's important. That's what crises do. They shake things up until we are forced to decide and hold onto what matters most. And what matters most right now is that you are sober. You owe the world nothing else. And so you will not worry about whether the real you will be brave or smart or funny or beautiful or responsible enough. Because the only thing you have to be is sober. You owe the world absolutely nothing but sobriety. If you are sober, you are enough. Even if you are shaking and cursing and boring and terrified. You are enough." - Queen Glennon No matter what the week ahead throws at us, may we all learn to sit on the mat and wriggle somewhat, feel uncomfortable not having all the answers but truly know that we are SITTING on the mat………..and not running away….. We are on the mat; not today lady, not today.
HOLA SOBER | MADRID
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