Self-Care Hola Sober Magazine Archive
Alexandra Hartley-Leonard
An Extract from Honouring Restoration by Pixie Lighthorse hit home, "Dismiss my desire to work things out, jump up to write something down, and tend the many loose ends. Let everything drain out of me and into the Earth. Allow me to restore and soothe my senses under a midnight moon or on the soft sand of a shoreline. Calm the space around my voice box, the hands I gesture with when speaking, and the spine that works hard to hold my body upright. Hush the room I stay in and pacify me into neutrality. Melt me down and seal me inside a womb of peace. " Just. Stop. When you need to. Full stop. Why is that so hard, especially when we need it most? And boom- I realised something I had been confusing and that is- self-care is not self-improvement. Self-care has to come first, or at least if it does- there is a smoother path toward self-improvement, but self-care is the foundation of your house...whereas self- improvement is the window dressing and the appliances. Self-care is having the right oil in your car. Self-improvement is the leather seats. Without one, the other doesn’t matter. It’s really hard for some of us (especially women) to just stop. Taking time to take care of ourselves still often feels like it should have some action to it, a goal for the end of the time spent, something to show for it, maybe even an opportunity to get something we normally wouldn’t have time to do (like read that book on the nightstand, or clear out that email inbox, or make holiday shopping lists.) We think “Well while I’m lying here, I might as well get 1-2-3 done.” No. Dismiss my desire to work things out, jump up to write something down, and tend to the many loose ends. We try to still have a say in how things are moving around us, the tasks, the schedule, and what’s for dinner, but the point is Hush the room I stay in and pacify me into neutrality.
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