talking it over with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in the United States.
LIVE W ITH RELATIVES? Question: Since you have been so help fu l to others, I would like to seek your counsel on our problem. M y husband and I are Christians. We have been married ten years and have three small children. Before marriage m y husband was a heavy drinker. However, he was saved sev eral years ago and is now a wonderful Christian. He is a true example of “pu tting on the new man.” Our problem is an economic one. W e have an apartment which we have outgrown. W e have only one bedroom in which we all sleep. M y husband, however, owns a farm which he pur chased w ith his insurance money after World War II. I t is a big 10-room farmhouse. His mother and father live there, also his two younger brothers. His mother takes care of two small children during the week which be long to another married brother. His father does most of the farm work. M y husband does help on Saturdays and during the week after his own work day is over. Of course, we would like a home of our own or at least a bigger place to live. Now , we can move to the farm and have two rooms un til we build our house. W e were planning on doing this until m y husband’s sister said that she couldn’t take her children to live w ith her as she is expecting an other baby and has to work. Do you feel it would be possible for six children, a grandpa, grandma, and two young people to live together harmoniously? Also m y mother-in-law is going to take care of another sister’s baby during the day. The rest of the fam ily are not Christians. T h e language influence on our children would be bad since they do swear and use unclean language. Also m y father-in-law smokes and
drinks to some extent. W e would be eating together as one fam ily. I f you have any suggestions, I would appreciate them . M y husband and I sincerely want to do what is best for us as a fam ily, although he does not feel as strongly as I do about living w ith his folks. Thank you for consid ering m y problem. Answer: I am interested in the fact th a t since your husband has come to know Christ as his personal Saviour a great change has come into his life. This is additional proof of his conver sion. Indeed, when we are born again we have a new nature. “Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new .” M any m arriage prob lems (and other problems) would be solved if people would submit to God and call on H im to save them. I re joice w ith you and your husband that you both are serving the Lord. Considering the economic problem, it seems th a t there would be many, too m any people living under one roof if you moved in w ith your husband’s family. If I am counting correctly, there would be approximately 11 peo ple involved and about four families represented. If you sat down and counted the m any complex relation ships th a t would result from such a union, I think you would be fright ened. For example, take a sheet of paper and pu t 11 little circles on the page. Each circle, of course, would represent a person. Then, for each person draw a little arrow in the direction of all other ten circles. Do this w ith every circle. This w ill give you some idea of the highly complex structure of such fam ily living. It is complex enough w ith only four or five circles on a page. This, of course, would be aggravated by the fact th a t some of them would be living in one world and some in another. In other
words, you say th a t your own fam ily are all believers but th a t the others are not. To this confusion add the fact th a t one or more of the group w ill be smoking and drinking. I am sure you can see th a t your little house is not so small after all! Even though you are crowded where you are, it is probably unwise to move in w ith your husband’s family. You have heard the old saying, “Jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.” M ay I suggest th a t you do not jump into the fire. By living where you are, you a t least have only your own fam ily to deal w ith, and, even though you are crowded, you all love the Lord Jesus Christ. CHURCH LIBRARIAN Question: Your articles are much ap preciated in our home. Recently I was elected Sunday School librarian in our local church. W ould you please give me any sug gestions you m ay have concerning a church library. M y concern is how to choose the most beneficial books for the congregation. Another problem is how to interest non-readers in read ing. I am sure people who do not read do not realize what they are missing. I have often wondered if these folks read their Bibles. I w ill greatly appreciate any sug gestions you m ay have. I do want to interest these non-readers, but I do not want to antagonize them. Thank you for your help. Answer: As a librarian, you have one of the most influential positions in the church. You can help to determine w hat people read, w hat they w ill eventually know, and w hat they w ill finally become. I t was Thomas Jeffer son who said, “I cannot live w ithout (Continued on next page)
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