by Paul Bayles, Pastor, Christ Community Church Canoga Park, Calif.
the Christian home M y husband w ill not attend I church w ith me,” writes an anxious wife, “even though I prayer fully ask h im each Sunday.” The let ter describes her loneliness as she ob serves other couples attending. Her teenage young people sit w ith their friends, bu t she feels alone and con spicuous. She wrote of the emotional scenes which take place each week end as she is overcome w ith b itter ness and frustration. H er deep anxie ty is displayed in reproach to God for not doing more towards answer ing her prayer of eight years. This letter reflects a number of normal attitudes. The wife is truly concerned about the spiritual wel fare of her husband and family. She also feels th a t her husband is per sonally rejecting her and therefore experiences hum iliation. The problem is an old one. In The Acts we discover th a t the first European convert was a woman. Among the believers in another con tinental city were the wives of very influential men. The husbands are not referred to as believers. Why does it appear as though Christianity is more appealing to women than to men? When the Lord began His m in istry, He chose men because Chris tianity needed manly qualities. Men responded. They still do. Yet it seems easier for women to commit them selves. Why? Christianity is an emotional experi ence. It involves a stirred conscience, a struggle to yield and a surrender to faith and to Christ. Men have erringly identified emotion w i t h weakness and tend to shrink away from the whole situation. Men fear anything as stirring as salvation and worship. W hat they don’t realize is th a t their fear is an emotion, too! Men feel th a t their masculine' role is seriously threatened. There are 1% m illion more women than men in the United States. They outlive us by six years. More and more wives are working, weakening the accepted male role of “bread w inner.” Hus bands are doing p a rt of the house work, since their wives are employed outside of the home. A ll appears serene. W hen the wife strongly urges the husband to attend church w ith her, he feels th a t this is one more area of “giving in ” to fem inine domi nance. In families where the husband alone is employed, the wife remains
home and enjoys going out. The hus band enjoys staying home. Attend ing church may be just a m atter of going for the wife. As church lead ers, we need to evaluate our pro grams. Good churches build strong homes. Calling our people out every nigh t of the week does not . build fam ily life. Going out every night does not prove spirituality. It m ight increase antagonism. Life in Southern California, gen erally, contributes to this problem. Our population increases w ith good folk who come “out west.” Going west seems to have many psychologi cal implications. It always has. Philippi was a large Gentile city. Many Jews left Palestine and settled out west. Paul went to Philippi (Acts 16) and discovered a group of women praying • by the riverside. W h y weren’t these women in a synagogue on th a t sabbath day? Jewish law per m itted a synagogue to be formed when there were ten interested men. Philippi had a large Jewish settle ment. W here were the men? They were probably farther upstream fish ing! If so, they were doing what they never dreamed of doing when back home! Ministers continually hear men say, “I used to be faithful to church when we lived back home, but somehow I ’ve gotten away from it all.” We cannot escape God^by mov ing to the west (Psalm 139). We should not w ant to escape God. Sure ly there is something we m isunder stand if we’re try ing to avoid Him. God wishes to prosper and to bless us. He wants to use us. Perhaps men cannot see th a t church going does very much for the wife. If wives w ill gladly attend church for their own supply of spiritual nourishment; for a tru ly worshipful hour w ith God; and w ill retu rn home refreshed w ith spiritual joy — not chilly w ith reproach and frustration -—husbands may w ant to be in on the secret of such joy and peace. Neither husbands nor friends w ill ever be won to Christ by nagging, reproachful, and self pitying atti tudes. They w ill only be won by liv ing the life of faith. Demonstrate to your partner th a t there is joy in serv ing Christ. Prepare for church and re tu rn spiritually satisfied and con tent. Commit your loved ones to the Lord. Thankfully and trustingly keep them and their needs in God’s pres ence.
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