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July 2023
to be something that draws them closer together, unlike many other families who are torn apart once money is involved. Ethical Wills An ethical will is a way to pass on your wisdom, values, life lessons, and experiences to your family. Everyone knows the best things in life aren’t things. But your descendants can’t read your mind. Let’s face it, money is important, but without good solid values, life lessons, and experience, an inheritance can cause more harm than good.
Traditional Values Are Declining in America Ensure Your Values and Life Lessons Never Die
Has America lost its way?
Many clients think so. And, according to a March 2023 Wall Street Journal study, they’re right. Traditional American values like hard work, patriotism, religion, community involvement, and starting a family — values that once defined America — are all in rapid decline. According to the survey, the only “value” to grow in importance lately is the value we place on money. I can’t say for sure why this shift is happening, but it’s evidence that the love of money truly is the root of all evil. More and more, as people turn their backs on America’s foundational principles, we see the desire for money causing family tension, anger, and hurt feelings — especially after a parent dies. But it doesn’t have to be this way. There are things you can do in your estate plan to break this trend and ensure you pass on your values and life lessons to the generations that follow. The tools we recommend are family care meetings and ethical wills. Family Care Meetings These are meetings held after the planning process (or a review meeting) with family members, beneficiaries, fiduciaries, and your other advisors. They help open the lines of communication, reduce the likelihood of fights, arguments, and misunderstandings, and help prepare your executors, trustees, and agents under your powers of attorney for when the time comes. Everyone can ask questions, hear things from the horse’s mouth, and get to know the others involved. Typically, we don’t discuss “numbers” at family care meetings, so you don’t have to worry about disclosing your assets. In fact, I’ll tell everyone your goal is to live to be 120 and spend every last dime. I’ll say the only reason I’m here is to review your contingency plan in case you mess up and don’t reach your goal. Honestly, no one knows what assets you’ll have or what they’ll be worth when you die. So, there’s just no need to disclose account balances at the family care meeting. Besides, it’s not about the money. It’s about us taking care of your family when you can’t. It’s about passing on more than just your financial assets. It’s about your hopes and dreams, values and life lessons, and what matters most to you. Each family care meeting is uniquely designed to make sure everyone involved knows about the plan and their roles and responsibilities before it’s too late, not so they can start dreaming about spending their inheritance. It’s so they know you’re doing this for them, so you can tell your loved ones you expect your passing
An ethical will lets you express your views on things like:
• The most important thing I learned from my parents is … • When I was growing up, these were our traditions … • Some of the events that had the greatest impact on my life were … • A mistake in life I hope you can avoid is …
And so much more.
Over the years, we’ve offered many ethical will workshops and tools. A perennial favorite is My Legacy: My Life Story in My Own Words. If you’d like a free copy of this fill-in-the-blank workbook, or help hosting a family care meeting, give us a call. As Independence Day approaches, let me close by saying how sad I am to be in the minority of Americans (currently under 40%) who still believe patriotism is very important. While never perfect, and often far from it, America remains an achievement worth celebrating and emulating. Please tell your children and grandchildren what America means to you. Encourage them not to take their freedom (for which you worked so hard) for granted. We need to overcome the forgetfulness that’s been the downfall of every civilization. Throughout history, free societies have failed when freedom runs to excess and breeds permissiveness and license; citizens give up their freedom to feel safe and secure, and people justify anything and everything done in freedom’s name, especially things that contradict
freedom, like disrespecting or disparaging our flag or national anthem and, consequently, the Declaration of Independence they symbolize (which, ironically, is the very source and standard of freedom and justice to which they appeal in the first place).
“They traded truth for a lie, worshipped and served the creation instead of the creator, and God let them go their own way.” Romans 1:24-25
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AN ESTATE PLANNING MUST Why Everyone Needs Advance Directives
When discussing estate planning, we often think about wills and the disbursement of our belongings after we pass. Yet, there’s plenty to organize, protect, and ensure when we are still alive. One aspect of estate planning we often overlook are advance health care directives, including living wills. Advance directives are a wide category of written instructions covering your health care wishes, and a living will is considered a type of advance directive. If you find yourself severely ill or injured, advance directives help you express your health care preferences if you cannot communicate. What is a living will? While a living will is within the advance directive category, it specifically determines your wishes if you become terminally ill. Not everyone has the same wishes when it comes to end-of-life care, so your living will communicates what medical procedures you would or would not want to undergo if you were either terminally ill or in a coma. Some individuals may only want their life prolonged for a certain amount of time for personal or religious reasons, or not at all. A living will helps the medical staff and family follow those wishes. Different Types of Advance Directives Since it’s a broad category, not all advance directives are limited to terminal illnesses. Various forms of advance directives aim to help
loved ones from having to make stressful medical decisions that may or may not be wanted by the patient. Some forms of advance directives include:
• Medical Power of Attorney: A document that names someone who can make health care decisions for you if you can’t communicate • Medical Orders: Orders created by a medical professional with their patient’s wishes that are shared with other medical professionals. For example, it could detail a do-not- resuscitate (DNR) order. • Psychiatric or Mental Health Directive: A document created by a person with mental illness that details their health care wishes before a possible mental health crisis, when they may not be able to make decisions When it comes to advance directives, every adult should consider establishing their wishes as soon as they can. No one knows what the future holds, and it’s best to arrange your health care wishes before it’s too late.
To Buy or Not to Buy a House Market Aside, Are You Ready?
Assess your finances. Potential homebuyers should be aware of the roadblocks before making any significant decisions. You’ll need to be entirely sure that your funds are ready to take the hit of both a down payment and a mortgage. Consider your credit, savings, and debt when determining your monetary readiness. These three financial aspects decide whether you’ll qualify for a mortgage. For example, those with credit scores lower than 600 will have slimmer chances and higher prices. Meanwhile, your debts can also hinder your ability to qualify for a mortgage if they’re disproportionate to your income. As for your savings, you will need enough money for the down payment, moving costs, as well as possible expenses associated with owning a home. Everything your previous landlord took care of will now be your responsibility. Even new homes have surprise repairs that will come out of your pocket.
You’re probably hearing conflicting advice when it comes to home buying. While some say a recession is inevitable, others highlight the lowest selling prices in years. However, you should consider the current market conditions as context rather than deciding factors when buying a home. Whether or not the time is right to buy a home depends on your personal and financial circumstances. Real estate market aside, the more important question is this: Are you ready to buy a house right now?
If you feel financially comfortable to undergo the hurdles ahead (with a stellar credit score to match), you should be ready to start looking for a home! Consider some reasons to hold off on buying. While there are plenty of reasons why you should buy a home, there are also countless reasons why now might not be the right time for you. Look at your personal and financial situation and ask yourself: • Is your job secure? Have there been recent layoffs in your company? • Are you feeling pressured by family or friends? • Do your finances need some TLC? • Are you ready to put down your roots? These are just a few issues that can cause a disaster in the home-buying process. You will need to assess your situation and be honest about why you need to buy a home and if you’re financially prepared.
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LEARN LIFE LESSONS WITH MR. BACHMANN The Journey of a German Classroom The documentary “Mr. Bachmann and His Class” shows how a small-town German teacher helps his diverse students feel at home. This heartfelt documentary even won several awards, including the Silver Bear, at the Berlin International Film Festival because of its simple, uplifting message. In the film, the rural town of Stadtallendorf has a history of employing migrant workers dating back to World War II. Despite having many immigrants in the city, Stadtallendorf has a history of excluding non-German residents. This divide is an issue that weighs heavily on students. In a classroom of 12–13-year-old students from different countries, Dieter Bachmann uses his authentic positivity to help each student become confident about their own potential. In one scene, after returning graded assignments to his students, he reassures those who scored lower by saying, “These grades do not reflect who you are.” This isn’t to say that Mr. Bachmann was easy on his class. In one pivotal moment, the teacher reprimands a student for acting unkind to a classmate. When the student provides a halfhearted excuse, Bachmann replies, “I don’t really believe that, but I’ll treat it as though it were sincere.” The student can clearly feel the teacher’s disappointment despite no obvious scolding or berating. Mr. Bachmann guides his students with a genuine heart and a steady hand. The affectionate film immerses the viewers in Bachmann’s classroom to witness the evolution of the students. Whether watching those who decide to spend their lunch hour with him in his classroom and others who share their most vulnerable feelings, viewers realize that all of these students needed an educator who showed sympathy and kindness. “Mr. Bachmann and His Class” follows the magnetic bunch until retirement. While there are plenty of films about heroic teachers, this gentle documentary reveals more about how all it takes is genuine interest and effort to change students’ lives.
Inspired by Delish.com GRILLED STEAK SALAD WITH PEACHES
• 1 lb skirt steak, fat trimmed • 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar • 1 clove garlic, minced • 1 tbsp light brown sugar • 1 tbsp vegetable oil • Kosher salt Ingredients
• Black pepper • 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 large lemon, juiced • 6 cups baby arugula
• 2 ripe peaches, thinly sliced • 1/3 cup crumbled blue cheese or feta
Directions 1. In a large resealable plastic bag or baking dish, combine steak, vinegar, garlic, and brown sugar. Marinate 20 minutes at room temperature. 2. Remove steak from marinade, coat with vegetable oil, and season generously with salt and pepper. 3. On a grill or pan set to high heat, cook steak until desired doneness. Rest 5–10 minutes, then thinly slice against the grain. 4. In a small bowl, whisk olive oil and lemon juice to make dressing. Season with salt and pepper. 5. In a large serving bowl, add arugula, peaches, blue cheese or feta, and steak. Drizzle with dressing and gently toss.
TAKE A BREAK
Barbecue Concert
Fishing Fourth Independence Larkspur
Park Pool Shade Stargazing Travel Vacation
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Pass on More Than Just Financial Wealth
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The Difference Between Living Wills and Advance Directives
Should You Buy a House Right Now?
Grilled Steak Salad With Peaches
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An Inspirational Documentary Inspires Hope
A Comedian’s Heartwarming Will
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How He Ensured His Wife’s Happiness Comedian Jack Benny Made a Romantic Request
The idea of creating a will can seem grim for many. We don’t want to ponder our passing and the effect it will have on our loved ones. Our distaste for estate planning is evident, too — only 33% of U.S. adults have a will. Yet, what if we saw estate planning as an opportunity to send a final affectionate message after our departure? That’s exactly what Jack Benny, an iconic radio and television comedian, did for his wife after he passed away. Both starred in the quintessential radio program “The Jack Benny Program” from 1932 to 1965, and the couple was known for their comical disputes and banter. However, his wife, Mary Livingstone, would later confirm that her kind husband was far different from the penny-pinching naysayer he played in his show. For decades, the duo became a must-listen act on countless home radios. Sadly, Benny passed away in 1974 at the age of 80. While his wife was mourning the loss of her husband, she was shocked to discover one final romantic gesture from Benny. Livingstone shared the loving gift with the world in a magazine article dedicated to his life and legacy.
“Every day since Jack has gone, the florist has delivered one long- stemmed red rose to my home,” Mary Livingstone wrote. “I learned Jack actually had included a provision for the flowers in his will. One red rose to be delivered to me every day for the rest of my life.”
Rain or shine, Livingstone was delivered a red rose sent from her late husband until her death nine years later. The loving husband and famous entertainer proves that wills don’t have to be daunting documents; they can be one last way to leave a kind gesture behind. You could also shock your family by leaving your estate to your favorite furry friend! Whatever route you take, a will is sure to maintain your spirit and estate.
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