Talking it Over by Dr. Clyde M . Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in the United States
thinks a lot of her, I’m sure. Should she be told of this trouble? Am I making too much of this? The doc tor said that I shouldn’t worry be cause he’d be all right. He said I should encourage him to go to college, which I did. But he didn’t go.**Instead, he got work in a factory. He graduated from high school last spring. I’d surely appreciate help on this matter. A. You are very wise to consider this problem. You know, of course, that every good marriage is built upon honesty, not deceit. And any one who gets married has the right to know, as much as possible, what he (or she) is getting. Your son’s illness may never again reach the serious proportions it once reached. However, one can not be sine. And his prospective wife should know about his former illness. Not long ago I talked with a young husband whose wife was hav ing serious mental difficulties. “Did she have any trouble like this be fore she was married?” I asked. “ Yes,” he replied. “ In fact, she was in a mental hospital for some time but her parents advised her never to tell me. So the whole thing came as a shock.” “How did it make you feel?” I asked. “Well,” he said, “al though I love my wife very much, I think it was a case of outright deceit.” And it was. And naturally, it makes it hard for the young couple. She feels ter ribly guilty that she did not tell him. He feels hurt that he was not told. And now it keeps him from having the confidence he should have in his wife’s parents. I suggest that you discuss the sit uation with this girl if you think that they may be contemplating an engagement. Trouble Makers Q. Why is it that boys and girls from Christian homes, with out
Mental Block Q. What can be done to remove a mental block from a college boy’s mind? This chap, due to a chain of circumstances, has come to the place where he does well in every day work, but falls so low in written tests that his grades are too low to permit him to go on. He is afraid of tests. He is an intelligent boy— clean in every way. His instructors tell him he should be a straight “ A” student. What help can you offer? We will be watching for your an swer. A. This young man needs diagnosis. It is impossible to make intelligent suggestions without first knowing what may have caused this situa tion. If there is a Christian psycholo gist in your town, see that the young man has his services. A pro fessional psychologist will give the boy several examinations and find out just what is causing the diffi culty. One might suppose that this fel low has had some traumatic experi ences with tests, causing him to “ freeze up” when he takes a test. This is rather common, not only concerning tests but many other things in life. Usually a number of sessions in which a psychologist or psychiatrist helps the client to dis cover the causes, discuss them and minimize them, will help immeas urably. Honest Romance Q. My son, 19, who is a Christian, developed some nervous trouble about three years ago which the doctor termed the early stages of schizophrenia. The doctor thought he caught this difficulty in time and sent him to a psychiatrist. He saw this doctor regularly for over a year. He seems fine now but I do think he lacks self-confidence. Now I would like to ask you this: he is going with a young lady who only recently has become a Christian. He
DR. NARRAMORE
standing parents, give us so much trouble in our Sunday schools? A. They don’t. Youngsters who are raised in fine Christian homes, by outstanding parents, are the best adjusted children in the world. I realize, of course, that we are often misled by the fact that a child comes from a home which is sup posedly a Christian home and where there may be considerable financial means. This home may have the outside appearance of a Christian unit; however, if we were to know it intimately, we would realize that it is far from a Chris tian home and the parents may have very little understanding of boys and girls. Food Dislikes Q. Are food dislikes inherited? A. No, most authorities claim that food dislikes are acquired. How ever, there are natural differences and natural preferences. Children may develop dislikes for certain foods because they hear and see other people who openly express their dislikes. On the other hand, dislikes may come from unhappy associations with particular foods, such as tasting something when one is sick, or eating certain food imme diately prior to or after severe punishment. Children can learn to dislike foods by being forced to eat some thing when it is not wanted. Dis likes can also come from slight al lergies to certain foods.
DECEMBER, 1958
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