Crying: As you might expect, tears are not unusual when talking with someone about prostate cancer. Crying can be a great release and is probably something you can relate to. It should help to let the person know that you understand the difficulty of the situation and that you respect him for sharing. If the person begins to sob uncontrollably and you cannot comfort him sufficiently, it may be appropriate to give them space to calm down and connect at another time. Ask the participant if they have support from someone before ending the meeting. Check to see if there is someone else at home who can provide support or if there is a friend he can call. Guilt and Blame: For a variety of reasons, guilt and blame often accompany a diagnosis of prostate cancer. A participant may be concerned with the "could have, should have, would have" surrounding the diagnosis or loss. They may be focused on negative thoughts they may have had, feel as though they could have done something different, or be looking for someone to blame. It may be helpful for them to share these thoughts and concerns with you. You can acknowledge their feelings and respect them for sharing. It is important to remember that your role as a Peer Support Volunteer is not that of a professional counselor and that it is okay to suggest seeking professional help.
It cannot be stressed enough: As a Peer Support Volunteer, you are not expected to replace professional counseling.
What if a participant mentions self-harm or suicidal ideation?
If someone you're supporting mentions self-harm or you feel that he could be in danger:
• Be respectful and acknowledge the person's feelings.
• Communicate that you take him seriously and want to do everything you can to keep him safe.
•
Encourage the person to seek treatment.
• Encourage the person to call a suicide hotline number.
• Never promise to keep someone's suicidal feelings a secret.
Potential helpful phrasing
"I'm glad you trust me to share this. As a Peer Support Volunteer, we aim to get you the best help possible for prostate cancer. This is beyond what I am able to help you with, as I am not a mental health professional. So, I'd like to share these resources with you to connect you with someone who can help."
Support Group Leader Resource Guide | 21
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