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QUARTER 1, 2024
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The Complex Terrain of Aging Care Commitments Promises Reimagined
A s people age, they often ask their loved ones to make promises to them, such as “Promise me you won’t put me in a nursing home” or “Promise me that you will take care of me.” When these promises are made, they may seem distant and abstract, and many may agree to them without much thought. However, when the time comes to fulfill these promises, many people struggle to keep their word because they didn’t realize their promise isn’t actually what’s best for their loved ones. Often, these original promises are made out of fear, influenced by others’ experiences or media. In fact, it’s not uncommon that we hear from clients who have made these promises based on experiences their own grandparents had in a nursing home over two decades ago. And, of course, we believe that what we’re promising will ultimately be best for our loved ones, too. Besides, if
we can be the ones to take care of them and keep them in a space where they feel comfortable, it would only make sense to agree to that promise — right? But what if our loved one’s care needs become more than what we can safely provide for them at home? What if by keeping our loved ones at home, we’ve created a situation where we’re doing them harm? Then we are faced with a decision: break the promise or risk their health and lives — a conundrum never intended when the promise was made. I’ve seen so many clients in this exact situation, and their desire to keep their word to their loved ones results in both living in unsafe conditions. A promise is a powerful thing, and unfortunately, that completely understandable desire to stay true to the ones we love can backfire.
That’s why I believe in renegotiating that promise. It’s entirely okay to revisit that agreement through the lens of health and safety. Instead of pledging to keep our loved ones away from nursing homes. We can consider an alternative promise such as “I promise to take care of you and keep you in the environment that you prefer, for as long as possible, as long as we both stay safe and receive the care we require.” At Van Dyck Law Group, helping people have these difficult conversations is what we do every day. Just because you have previously made a promise doesn’t mean it cannot be modified. We can guide you through the challenges that lie ahead, whether for yourself or a loved one, so you are not making promises without a plan. We have resources and tools at our disposal that will allow us to plan for every step before the nursing home, the at-home care, or those unsafe living conditions. So, if you’re interested in creating a future where the only promise you’ll ever need to make is to enjoy your time with the ones you love, I encourage you to sign up for the seminar listed on this page, where we will talk about this topic at length. And, as always, if you have any questions, concerns, or would like to arrange a personal meeting, you can always contact me at 609-580-1044. -Fiona Van Dyck
Join Us This Spring for Our ‘Redefining Independence’ Seminar! Dates coming soon! Call 609-580-1044 or visit VanDyckFirm.com to register.
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Thought Back on Track
Podcast Wisdom
‘You’re Wrong About’ The first step to understanding the world around you is to consider the possibility that everything you know may not be true. That’s where “You’re Wrong About” comes in! Host and journalist Sarah Marshall dives into different historical figures and events falsely covered by the traditional media. From Sinead O’Connor to Bonnie and Clyde, Sarah meets with various experts to go through the cold hard facts and what you likely didn’t know about these people. Start listening to one of over 200 episodes and learn everything you never knew! ‘Maintenance Phase’ With social media and so-called health gurus everywhere, it can be challenging to know what health advice is factual or safe. “Maintenance Phase” debunks all the diet fads, fitness myths, and trendy health gimmicks to keep you informed. With the help of hosts Michael Hobbes and Aubrey Gordon, you learn the actual science behind your body’s health and discover what is true and what is simply trending. With plenty of podcasts at your fingertips, these three are exceptionally entertaining and informative. Put your headphones on and clean up the house, or drive your daily commute with one of these podcasts to keep your brain in tip-top shape! Lifelong Learning Potential
You’re never too old to learn something new! There are plenty of debunked myths floating around about the brain’s ability to absorb information as we age, but the truth is, learning in every phase of life is incredible for your mind. We keep our cognitive skills sharp as we age when we continue learning new information and skills. So, what’s the easiest way to passively learn something new? Tune in to one of these podcasts and continue with your day! Podcasts from experts can provide you with a plethora of compelling information to keep your brain strong. ‘Ologies’
Witty and endlessly informative, “Ologies” is hosted by Alie Ward, a science correspondent with all the humor you need to keep coming back for more. Ward interviews experts and “-ologists” and asks them not-so-average questions. The information and insight you receive is easily digestible and entertaining. With over 340 episodes at your disposal on most streaming platforms like Apple and Spotify, “Ologies” can keep you listening for a long time!
THE CAREGIVER’S DILEMMA Signs of Burnout and Essential Tips for Self-Care
Tips for Caregivers to Alleviate Stress If you or someone you know is beginning to or already is experiencing the symptoms associated with caregiver burnout discussed here, below are a few steps you can take to lighten the load. Seek Support: It’s important to take care of yourself in addition to caring for others. One way to do this is to ask for help from friends or family members, even if it’s just for a few hours. Prioritize Positive Relationships in Your Life: Even when you’re feeling overwhelmed, make time to connect with the people closest to you. By nurturing positive relationships and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you’ll find that you’re better equipped to handle whatever life throws your way. Self-Care: To maintain a healthy lifestyle, it’s important to establish good habits like getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, and drinking enough water. Exercise is also helpful in managing stress! Find Professional Help: It can be challenging to care for someone who is sick or elderly. It is important to talk to your doctor about the difficulties you may face as a caregiver and ask for help if needed. Your doctor can refer you to a therapist who specializes in managing the stress that comes with being a caregiver.
Taking care of a loved one dealing with dementia, physical disabilities, or age-related health issues can be demanding. In fact, this responsibility can be so challenging that it leads to feeling impatient, tired, frustrated, and guilty. Over time, these feelings can lead to caregiver burnout, which can have a serious impact on someone’s mental and physical health. Recognizing the Signs of Caregiver Burnout Symptoms of caregiver burnout can appear in many different ways, but some of the most common are:
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Anger or frustration toward the care recipient
Anxiety
Denial of the loved one’s condition
Depression
Exhaustion that impedes daily tasks
Difficulty concentrating
Irritability
Withdrawal from social activities
If you or someone you know is a caregiver and is unsure if they’re experiencing any of these symptoms due to their situation, the American Medical Association has created a free “Caregiver Self-Assessment Questionaire” that anyone can take to identify their stress levels. You can find and take the assessment by visiting HealthinAging.org/tools-and- tips/caregiver-self-assessment-interactive.
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A LEGACY OF LOVE
3 Ways to Include Charities in Your Estate Plan
Leaving a charitable legacy is a wonderful way to make a difference in the world, and you don’t have to be a millionaire to do it. What’s important is leaving a lasting impact on a cause you care about. This kind of giving can be included in your estate plan, which means you can be generous without putting your immediate financial needs at risk.
You can donate to as many charities as you want, but specify how much you’d like to leave each one. Designating Beneficiaries on Investment Accounts Another option is to name a charity as the beneficiary of your retirement account, like an IRA or 401(k). When you do this, the money in the account will be given to the charity after you pass away. And if the charity is a 501(c)(3), they won’t have to pay any taxes on the money they receive.
So, if you want to positively impact the world with your legacy, consider making a charitable bequest part of your plan in any of the following ways. Listing Charities in Your Will or Trust If you want to donate to a charity after you pass, you can include them in your will or trust. You can give them money, investments, a house, or things like a car or furniture. Just make sure you clearly name the organization you want to donate to, using the charity’s full legal name and taxpayer number, which can usually be found on their website.
Another way to donate is to name a charity as a “transfer on death” or “paid on death” beneficiary for your bank account. This means the money in the account will go to the charity when you die. Donor-Advised Funds A donor-advised fund is another great way to give money to charitable organizations. It works like an investment account where you can put money aside for charity and choose which charities you want to support. You can also name a donor-advised fund account as a beneficiary in your will, meaning that after you pass away, the money will be given to the chosen charities. It’s a great way to support causes you care about and leave a lasting impact!
TAKE A BREAK
Baked Salmon With Garlic and Lemon
INGREDIENTS • 2 lbs salmon fillets • 4 cloves garlic, minced • Juice of 2 lemons • 2 tbsp olive oil • 1 tsp dried oregano • 1 tsp dried thyme • Salt and pepper, to taste
DIRECTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 375 F. 2. Line a baking dish with parchment paper. Place the salmon fillets on the baking dish. 3. In a small bowl, mix together the garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, oregano, thyme, salt, and pepper. Pour the mixture over the salmon. 4. Bake for 15–20 minutes or until the salmon is cooked through. Serve and enjoy!
BOOTS CANDLES CARNATION FURNACE
INSULATE JANUS OPPOSITE RESOLUTION SKATING SWEATER
GARNET HOCKEY
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Why It’s Time to Rethink Aging Care Promises
Podcast Your Way to a Sharper Mind and Smarter You The Hidden Struggle of Caregiver Burnout How to Support Charities Even After You’re Gone Baked Salmon With Garlic and Lemon Take a Break
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Elevate Your Fitness With Joint-Friendly Workouts
Break a Sweat With Low-Impact Workouts! Protect Joints, Enhance Strength, and Aid Recovery
Low impact doesn’t necessarily mean low intensity. While these workouts are gentle on joints and ligaments, they can still make you break a sweat! Low-impact workouts involve movements that don’t require jumping, running, or any other activity that can be harsh on your skeletal system. That’s why they are perfect for people starting to exercise, recovering from an injury, or looking to give their joints just a bit more TLC. Here are some examples of accessible low-impact workouts to try. Rowing You’ve probably seen rowing machines at the gym and were too intimidated to hop on. Yet, rowing machines offer a total body workout without the stress on your joints! No weights are required, and rowing is a strength and cardio workout that can vary in intensity depending on the equipment settings.
Simply strap your feet in, grab the handlebar, and start rowing! Swimming Perhaps the most popular low-impact exercise is swimming. Injured athletes and older gym-goers have long cherished it because the water allows the body to move without pressure on joints and ligaments. The low-impact workout includes cardio, strength, and flexibility! Similar to rowing, swimming allows plenty of customization for intensity. Pilates If you’re searching for an activity that’s less cardio-focused and more strengthening, then head to your nearest Pilates class! Pilates is a low-impact form of exercise involving a variety of movements that target your core muscles and improve your body’s alignment. Many
people comment on their improved balance and posture after regularly practicing Pilates, which can make you feel and look taller! Cycling Former runners are known to be cycling fans because it offers the same rush and cardio as running but without the joint pain. Whether on a stationary bike at home, in a spin class at the gym, or cycling through the neighborhood, you’re bound to get your heart pumping. Be sure your bike is adjusted correctly for your size and that you follow the correct form to avoid strain or injury. The key to each of these workouts is to practice with proper form and technique. Partner with a professional or a personal trainer to ensure you gain the maximum benefit from your low-impact workout.
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