Action 2: Listen and communicate non-judgementally cont.
Example response: “My parents are arguing all the time.” Gently trying to explore the underlying problem can help you to begin a discussion about what impact it is having on the child. A: Affect
Ask: “How does that make you feel?” Example response: “I feel angry, upset...”
Once you have heard their response, repeat what they have said back to them. This will show that you have been listening and are there for them. It also helps for the young person to hear their own feelings externalised, reflected, and summarised. If the young person is struggling to find the language to express how they feel, or describe physical symptoms such as a tummy ache, give them a few terms to choose from e.g., “Are you feeling sad, angry, or frustrated?” T: Trouble Ask: “What worries you the most about that?” or “What is the worst thing about…?” Example response: “I am worried that they will split up and I won’t see my mum/dad”. The aim here is to focus on the cause of the pain or upset, and to communicate that it is a safe space to talk about anything. It should indicate to the young person that they should focus on moving on from talking about their immediate feelings for now. H: Handling Ask: “How are you handling that?” Example response: “I shout a lot and get told off at school. I am not getting on with my family or my friends anymore.”
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