– Do not give the impression that being LGBTQIA+ is a ‘deviation from the norm’. – Do not say things that are intended to reassure the young person but are belittling, such as comparing them to other people e.g., “Some of my best friends are gay”, or giving unsolicited praise for being LGBTQIA+ implying it were a ‘lifestyle choice’ e.g., “I think it’s really brave of you.” Practise confidentiality The young person may also not want to disclose or discuss their LGBTQIA+ identity or experience to you at this time. Listen non- judgmentally to the young person using active listening, just as you would any person, and keep any assumptions you may have about their identity to yourself. If the young person comes out to you, be aware that it may be the first time they have told anyone. You should not express surprise or concern or remark they you suspected so. Instead, acknowledge that coming out may have been difficult and taken a lot of courage. If you ask the young person follow-up questions, make sure that they are relevant and supportive. You could ask if: – They feel that their identity is contributing to their distress – They are experiencing bullying or discrimination related to this – They would like other people to know, or if anyone else knows already knows You should not share what they have told you with anyone without their permission. Signpost Some of the supports that non-LGBTQIA+ young people use may not be appropriate for an LGBTQIA+ young person. For example, their family or community may have been unsupportive or even withdrawn contact entirely.
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