The Bug Guy The Luck of the Irish: Estrella Mountain Pest Control Edition
Here’s my St. Patrick’s Day wish for the west Valley: may your beer be cold, your sunscreen be SPF 50, and may the only thing you find under your rocks be rocks. No scorpions, no black widows, just boring old minerals. And if you do spot a pest this St. Patrick’s Day, remember: you’re not lucky, you’re just living in Arizona. Call an exterminator, grab a pint, and accept that in the Valley of the Sun, the only snakes St. Patrick’s driving out are the ones slithering through your backyard. Sláinte, desert dwellers. May the odds be ever in your favor. Submitted by Larry Cash, of Estrella Mountain Pest Control.
When most people think of St. Patrick’s Day in the West Valley, they picture green beer, shamrock decorations, and maybe a parade down Mill Avenue. But let me tell you what’s really lurking in the Valley on March 17th: scorpions wearing tiny leprechaun hats. Okay, not really—but wouldn’t that make them easier to spot? While Ireland worries about snakes (thanks, St. Patrick), we valley residents have our own crawling concerns. Legend has it that St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland. Here’s the thing: he clearly never visited Arizona. We’ve got rattlesnakes, bark scorpions, cockroaches the size of Volkswagens, and something called a “sun spider” that looks like it escaped from a nightmare factory. You know what we really need? St. Patrick of Goodyear. Someone who can drive out the roof rats, banish the bark scorpions to the desert where they belong, and maybe—just maybe—convince the pigeons that Estrella blvd Street isn’t prime real estate. The irony isn’t lost on me that on a day celebrating all things green, pest control companies are busier than ever. While you’re dyeing your pool water green for Instagram, there’s probably a family of crickets having a full-blown house party in your garage. They’re not even Irish crickets. They’re freeloaders.
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Estrella Publishing - The Hamlet magazine
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