I Solemnly Swear
Making Your Resolutions Actually Stick (No, Really This Time) January is famous for two things: credit card bills and resolutions that die faster than my houseplants. I’ve personally declared “New Year, New Me” so many times that Old Me is getting a complex. But here’s the thing, I’ve finally cracked the code and it only took me three decades of failure to figure it out. The Mindset Problem (AKA My Personal Nemesis) Most resolutions crumble because we’re excellent at finding excuses. My resolution is hitting the gym to lose weight? Flat tire. Can’t go. Obviously the universe wants me to stay home and eat crackers. Except (plot twist) I could do a home workout. I know this. You know this. We all know this. But acknowledging it means actually doing it, and that’s uncomfortable. Here’s where I’ve learned to trick myself: when I wake up thirty minutes earlier for that workout, I’m unbearable to be around for approximately twelve minutes. But then? I feel like a functional adult human who makes good choices, including working out. It’s unsettling but effective.
The Overachiever Trap (Been There, Living There) Want to know why my resolutions fail? I aim for the moon while currently sitting on my couch. “I’ll lose fifty pounds!” I declare, having just discovered last week that my gym membership expired in 2022. The secret nobody tells you: make boring, achievable goals. Break everything into embarrassingly small steps. Instead of fifty pounds, aim for one pound per week. That’s it. That’s the whole goal. In a year, you’re down fifty-two pounds. But more importantly, you haven’t quit by January 9th, which is my personal record. The Circle of Resolution Life Whatever your resolution (fitness, friendship, finances, finally learning what “networking” actually means) success requires strategy, not superhuman willpower. Because here’s what I’ve realized: I’m the same person this January who failed last January. The only difference? Now I’m older and my knees crack more. So maybe this year, I’ll just resolve to accept myself exactly as I am.
Starting February.
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January 2026 5
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