UNSOLICITED ADVICE By Chris Alvey, dbmallets@gmail.com, Sponsors of the Townsend Club Award In Association Croquet the following law applies: 57.4.1 Spectators, and in particular fellow team members or team officials “But I won, didn’t I?”, (to be fair to my opponents, I had a raft of bisques in the early days).
These comments be they during or after a game, while many seem to feel they are constructive and helpful, can affect the way we play our game and, in many cases, shake or upset people. When we coach, it is because our attendees have come to a session or asked for help. If we are going to offer advice it should be something that they want, not the unsolicited kind. Little things like asking if they would mind if you offered them some advice is at least giving people the opportunity to decline, no matter how well intentioned it is. In my day job, they refer to these as the soft skills. Positive reinforcement that helps players, especially beginners, and simple explanations of what they are doing right and how you think they could improve is generally appreciated and helpful. As players, we tend to filter the advice and use the parts that make sense and ultimately make us better.
in a teams’ competition and other competitors in a tournament, should not provide advice to the players in a game concerning any aspect of the game and should refrain from making comments about the play that could provide advice in a manner likely to be overheard by a player. So why do we hear so many comments asking, “Why did you do that?” or “What you should have done was…” when we come off the lawn? OK they aren’t necessarily breaching these laws, and in most cases are meant in a constructive manner; but they are a distraction to our play and can affect our confidence. In the early days of my adventures into croquet, I heard this a lot. Those that haven’t met me possibly won’t realise that I dabble in sarcasm quite frequently and holding my tongue is not my strong point, but on most occasions I managed to avoid saying
The best approach I ever had was in the Millennium AC competition at Pendle. My opponent Roger asked after the game “I know it makes no difference as you beat me (just), but can I ask why you didn’t peel penult when you were heading to 3-back, did you not fancy it?” It was asked in a friendly manner, and it was genuinely a question out of curiosity. The simple answer was that the angle wasn’t great and I preferred to get ahead of him by as many hoops as I could as he’s a much better player than me and I had the innings. He just shrugged and said, “makes sense” and we returned to the clubhouse for a brew and some cake. Some people want to find their own way, others want advice and it’s up to
us as players, opponents and spectators to respect that.
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