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N ovember 2024 T he K ids A ren ’ t A lright :
Why Childhood Mental Health Needs Our Attention
Many of us have stories of our carefree childhoods when we just got on our bikes and rode unsupervised and free. In my case, I’d ride down to the train tracks, hop on a freight car, and take it into town. Our children today don’t have that kind of carefree life. They also have a potentially dim future they are keenly aware of that we are not taking seriously. Early Childhood Mental Health Awareness Month takes place in November, and it reminds us of the fragile state of our children’s mental health today, especially in light of the unprecedented challenges they have faced in recent years. The long-lasting impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic have cut young people off from essential opportunities to socialize. Add to that the undeniable effects of global warming on the world around them and any number of topics unfolding on the news on any given day.
In the U.S., the conversation about children’s rights is often framed as parental rights. Many parents view themselves as the ultimate authority in decision- making on important aspects of their children’s lives. It speaks to the rugged individualist standpoint deeply ingrained in our culture. In a quid pro quo kind of a zero-sum game, the idea is that the more children have rights, the fewer rights their parents have. No inalienable rights here, I guess. The Convention on the Rights of the Child offers a different perspective: Children are individuals with rights outside their parents. The challenge here is that children fall into this interesting category: They are not autonomous beings but also not property. They are treated in law as something in between. The ambiguity of their rights can leave children especially vulnerable to mental health challenges because adults don’t always recognize their needs. The pandemic truly shined a light on these vulnerabilities. Students just starting their journeys into the social world were suddenly cut off from a critical element of human life. Unlike adults, who have a long history of social experiences to draw upon, some children never had the opportunity to grow through the same type of face-to-face interactions. Many children suffered social, emotional, and mental scars during this time that still impact them today and will likely continue to affect their ability to form relationships, do well in school, and tend to their mental health. So, what can we do to make a difference when it comes to children’s mental health? We must constantly advocate for their rights in law and how we talk to our children. Author Brené Brown’s work examines how adults can reframe how we respond to a child’s struggles. Rather than responding with control or criticism, we can ask them questions to understand their perspective. We must also acknowledge the more significant problems like climate change and the economy that will impact children. If ever a topic deserved a month of acknowledgment, and honestly far more, it’s childhood mental health. Young people face a world with the same complex challenges we see as adults. It’s our responsibility to give them tools to thrive, advocate for their rights, and truly listen so they can have a brighter, healthier future.
This month, Sheila and I will attend the International Society for Family Law Conference on the Rights of the Child, an international meeting focused on a critical but often overlooked issue — children’s legal and human rights. The Convention on the Rights of the Child, adopted in 1989, is the most widely ratified human rights treaty in history. But the U.S. is the only country in the United Nations that has not ratified or embraced this treaty.
–Michael Manely
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A T hanksgiving G ift for G enerations Show Gratitude With Thoughtful Estate Planning
With Thanksgiving approaching, it’s the perfect time to reflect on gratitude and giving back. One of the best ways you can create a lasting gift that will reflect your values, family, and legacy is through your estate plan. Establishing charitable contributions to a cause you love or supporting a scholarship fund are just two of several unique ways you can give back through your estate plan and ensure your generosity lives on. YOUR FAMILY In your estate plan, you can create gifts to care for your loved ones during their lifetime. You can leave money, assets, real estate, investments, or even artwork in your plan as long as you don’t expect repayment or something in exchange. Gifting this way has many benefits, including minimizing your taxes on the estate once you pass away and allowing you to give money to loved ones while you are still alive. Overall, it’s a gift that keeps on giving, making it easier for your heirs to
inherit beneficial assets now and allowing them more freedom and ease in the future.
CHARITIES AND ORGANIZATIONS Have you volunteered at a nonprofit or supported an organization that serves a cause close to your heart? You can give back to nonprofit organizations, churches, schools, or foundations in your plan. By setting up a charitable bequest or trust funds in your will, you can leave money to the causes you cherish. You can also establish a gift through a community foundation, which allows you to give any amount to an organization for as long as you want. LEGACY OF GIVING You can pay gratitude to your family and the causes dear to them by continuing their legacy of giving. Perhaps your parents loved a nonprofit, and you want to incorporate it into your own charitable giving plan.
Or, maybe your family members are proud graduates of a particular university. You can contribute to a scholarship fund at that school or include the alum foundation in your plan so you and your family can continue to serve an organization that helped them grow. As you enjoy Thanksgiving and this season of giving, remember that your estate plan can be a beautiful extension of your gratitude and values.
Making a Difference Behind the Scenes M eet K ate E llis
The Manely Firm is a people-centered firm with passionate employees who want to make a difference. Our Assistant Operations Manager, Kate Ellis, works behind the scenes every day to oversee everything from our policies and procedures manual to vendor contracts. She assists our Director of Operations and COO with facilities management and is responsible for managing maintenance, contracts, and vendor communication. Kate grew up around people who were passionate about community and helping others. Her father was a career journalist who investigated poverty and social issues, and her mother was an elementary school teacher. She pursued journalism in college but decided to switch to social work. “I realized that instead of writing about a tragedy that had already happened, I wanted to be involved in preventing it from happening in the first place,” she said. She went on to work for Child Protective Services as an investigator, where she worked with families dealing with abuse and neglect. When her husband was assigned to Fort Stewart, they moved to Savannah in 2014, and she was looking for a job where she could continue to help families.
She worked with us as an administrative assistant, client care coordinator, and paralegal until 2018, when she returned to North Carolina with her family. In 2022, when we created a new role in operations, we knew we wanted Kate at the helm. Kate is fully remote and is super excited to be back. She loves the firm’s people-centered approach and the high quality of services we provide. “There’s always a lot of internal communication that moves the ball forward and gets great outcomes.” Kate calls this role a combination of problem-solving and project management. She strives to do whatever she can to help the staff. Whether getting an employee a more comfortable chair or ensuring our technology meets our needs, she supports the whole team so they can focus on working with families. Outside of work, she loves spending time with her husband and three children. They enjoy watching football, hanging out with friends, and doing projects around their new country home. Kate is proud to be a part of The Manley Firm’s growth and truly epitomizes our core values. There’s no one we would rather have in this vital role, and she continues to make our firm even stronger.
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F ennel G ratin
Inspired by FoodAndWine.com
Whether we are facing a daunting challenge like divorce or embarking on a new creative journey, we have to adapt our mindset to grow. One powerful concept we like to share with clients and our staff alike comes from David Emerald’s “The Empowerment Dynamic.” He provides a framework to escape the dreaded drama triangle of the common human roles of victim, persecutor, and rescuer. It can change our entire path when we can make a mental switch and instead think of those roles as creator, challenger, and coach. By embracing the idea that we are the creators of our lives, we can stop reacting to problems and instead take ownership of our outcomes. This means engaging in a creative process, which researchers have found to be the same regardless of what you are creating. Just like making a piece of artwork, you must have a vision of what you want to create or manifest and then assess where you are currently. There will naturally be tension between where you are and where you want to be. Emerald calls this “dynamic tension,” which you can best imagine as a rubber band stretched tight between two points: our reality and our desired outcomes. We can easily mistake the tension as anxiety, which often causes us to give up on the vision we have. If we can instead see it as a positive driving force for what we desire and hope for, it can propel us forward and closer to our goals. It takes baby steps — small, manageable actions — to make your vision more sustainable. Whether it’s trying to lose weight, reach a professional goal, or navigate a divorce, breaking your big dreams into small steps can help you maintain your focus without burning out. Baby steps are not linear, and you’ll have to prepare for a sometimes bumpy ride with setbacks. But, as long as you commit yourself to what you can start, stop, or change, then you’re on the road to your desired outcomes. The creative process isn’t about perfection but persistence and the right mindset. You can transform your biggest challenges into your dreams by embracing the dynamic tension between your reality and your goals and taking baby steps. Using the Empowerment Dynamic to Achieve Your Goals CREATOR, CHALLENGER, COACH
I ngredients • 2 cups heavy cream • 2 shallots, roughly chopped • 4 garlic cloves, smashed • 1 tbsp fresh thyme leaves
• 1 1/2 tsp salt • 1 tsp black pepper • 3 large fennel bulbs, cored and cut into 1-inch-thick wedges • 2/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
D irections 1. Preheat oven to 350 F with one rack in the center and one about 4 inches from the heat. 2. In a small saucepan, bring cream, shallots, garlic, thyme, salt, and pepper to a simmer over medium heat, stirring often. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring often, for another 15–20 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool for 10 minutes. 3. Arrange fennel wedges, slightly overlapping, in a large cast-iron skillet or broiler-safe 2-quart baking dish. Pour cream mixture over fennel. Roast on center rack until fennel is tender, about 40–50 minutes. 4. Remove skillet and increase oven temperature to broil. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese evenly over fennel. Broil on upper rack until top is browned, 1–4 minutes. Let cool 5 minutes before serving.
“The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.” –G eorge S antayana
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211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 www.allfamilylaw.com
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Advocating for Youth Mental Health and Rights
Leave a Legacy of Love in Your Plan How Kate Keeps The Manely Firm Running Smoothly
Turn Tension Into Progress Fennel Gratin
How to Turn Your Backyard Into a Touchdown Zone
GET IN THE GAME SCORE BIG WITH FAMILY-FRIENDLY TOUCH FOOTBALL
FOLLOW THE RULES Before you start playing, ensure both teams agree on the rules. There are obvious ones, like where the end zones are, how
Ready to tackle some family fun? Nothing beats a good old-fashioned game of touch football when the weather outside cools. It’s the perfect way to get
everyone running, laughing, and scoring a few points — without needing to be a pro quarterback. So, grab some comfortable shoes, and let’s dive into the playbook for the MVP of family games! MAKE BALANCED TEAMS To get started, create two teams among your family, with at least two players on each team. While letting kids choose their teams is fine in most cases, remember that the more balanced the teams are, the more fun everyone will have. If you have an
many points a touchdown is worth, and how many downs each team has — either to get a touchdown or, space permitting, a first down. You also must determine what constitutes a player as “down” — when one or two hands touch the player with the ball, whether they need to be touched on the torso or anywhere, etc. You also have to decide if a team doesn’t score, whether the opposing team takes over from where the ball ended up, or whether each team has a set starting point for each drive.
Once you prepare everything, it’s time to hit the field. You can determine which team gets the ball first with a game of rock-paper-scissors and play until one team reaches a predetermined score … or it’s time to go inside and enjoy a family meal. Remember, the best part of family touch football isn’t just the touchdowns — the laughter, teamwork, and fun make every play memorable.
uneven number of players, you can follow an old playground rule and have one of the older players be the quarterback for both teams, ensuring everyone gets to play while the game remains balanced. Once you form teams, create the playing field by setting up small cones or beanbags to mark boundaries and end zones.
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