W h il e it is A joy to answer ques tions, we must remember that there are no “pat” solutions for many of the problems that vary with per sonal relationships. It depends on many different circumstances along with our own abilities to grapple with them. Here is a listener who writes, “Will you please deal with the adopted child ? I have a little nine-year old son who was bom to me before I was ever married. I had him out of wedlock. My husband does not accept him like he does our other children. What can I do?” Sometimes, if the opportune mo ment presents itself, parents of adopt ed children do tell them early, in a very careful and lovely way, that God provided them for the home. These things, however, should come natural ly. Normally, the child could know from the very beginning that he is adopted. These circumstances can be used to teach a great lesson of the love of the Lord to them. The parent may say, “You know, dear, you are an adopted son to me, just like I am to the Lord Jesus Christ.” This provides a very valuable tool to explain many wonderful things of eternity. The child will respond to this for he finds security in the fa ther and mother. I f he fails to find this, he will begin to think, “I wonder where my own father and mother are? Maybe I ’d be better off with them.” Resentment can easily build up and do much damage unless there is the ut most of loving care shown. In the case of the mother whose child was born out of wedlock, the boy will have real difficulty emotional ly if his father does not accept him. He should have learned long ago that this was not his real father. It is a little late now to enter into such de tails. Sometimes, in a moment of de votion, if the Lord opens the door, this
may be permissible. It all depends on circumstances. On the other hand, even though the father may not be a Christian he should have some counsel to recognize that the boy must be accepted. Hu manly, it is understandable for the man to have resentment. The other children are his own. The boy is a representation that his wife had had an illicit problem before he came into the picture. In every way possible the father should be encouraged to enjoy the son, having fellowship with him. The mother should encourage the boy to ingratiate himself into the life of the father by kindness and goodness. You are going to need real guidance from the Lord in these difficult cir cumstances. Maybe the boy could find some other young fellow with whom he could have close friendship. Perhaps a scout master, a Sunday school teacher, some minister might especially help him to ward manliness. The boy needs some real support underneath him. The fa ther must recognize this particular fact. For those of you who are not in volved in such problems, this is one of the difficulties we find when one doesn’t do the will of the Lord and gets involved in moral difficulties. Think of the enormous amount of un chastity and illegitimacy going on in our society today. It is a tragic thing to see the moral decay which is so evi dent on every hand. It is much easier to be chaste in the first place than to be sorrowful afterwards. People will ask me, “When an ille gitimate baby is about to be bom should it be given up for adoption?” There are those interested in the so cial well-being of children who say it should be abandoned by the mother. This depends, however, on many cir cumstances. My personal feeling is that when possible the little one should 5
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