THE VALUE OF AN EXPERIENCE Holiday Gift Giving:
If you are like us, we have a lot of “things” — clothes, gadgets, shoes, tools, and, for our kids, toys. These things fill our house so much that every year we donate our old things or resort to throwing them out. Every time we do a purge, it makes us rethink whether we need to buy more things the next time. The truth is, we don’t. We don’t need more shoes or jewelry, and we can buy our own clothes. What we really “need” more of are experiences. While we realize many people out there don’t have things, or maybe cannot afford that impulse to buy online, everyone reading this newsletter is likely to be like us: They have their credit card on file with Amazon. Anything they want is just two clicks away, then that item is mailed to the front door. For us, when we want something, we buy it, and we don’t necessarily wait for a holiday or special occasion to get it. That’s why we don’t normally give things to each other on birthdays or holidays. Black Friday for us means
staying home while everyone else is out. The holiday rush isn’t as daunting for us as it is for others in terms of buying something for our family.
What we like to give are experiences. Experiences mean spending time with the people you love and creating memories with them. They are far more special and have a higher value than any material object someone might receive, and there are a few reasons why. An experience is an opportunity for someone to explore a new town, city, country, or all three, and that in and of itself is an exciting moment. Also, an experience will stick with someone longer than a new toy, game, or item of clothing. Where these might wear out, be put on a shelf, or be forgotten, just one experience can stay with someone their entire life. Some of our best gifts have been concert tickets to Jason Aldean and Luke Brian. We still smile when we think of those memories and when we see the photos pop up on Facebook. We have also gifted our entire family the experience of watching the Celtic Women at the Kravis Center in West Palm Beach, with a dinner to follow in CityPlace. A Jimmy Buffet concert with our parents also comes to mind. For the holidays, instead of buying our children toys, we are giving them a day at Legoland. For our potential clients, the gift of an experience can mean reigniting love between them. Maybe the gift of a vacation can relight the spark. The gift of a play or night out at a museum can spur deep conversation and help mend a broken connection. In giving an experience to your spouse, think of what they would like to do. Ask them and truly listen to what activity they would enjoy. If one is an avid golfer and the other is not, then maybe a night out at minigolf or Topgolf would help bridge the connection. If one loves tennis, then think of tickets to the Delray Beach Open. A sunset kayak trip or a thrilling airboat ride through the mangroves is always a hit. Maybe, with a few experiences instead of things, potential clients of our firm will never become our clients, which is the best result when a marriage is mendable (some are not, and that is why we, as divorce lawyers, are here). Instead of giving a physical gift this year, try gifting an experience. Whether it be a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant or a massage, or tickets to a theater play, concert, or sporting event, the gift of an experience symbolizes something more, something deeper and memorable. We hope you have a memorable holiday season that lives on long after the holiday season. – Ashley and Chris Bruce 561-810-0170 • 1
Bruce Law Firm enjoying an experience at Top Golf
Co-Parenting with a Narcissist:
3 Useful Tips
When a person divorces a narcissistic spouse, it’s recommended that they cut all communication with their ex. This is often necessary for the victim as it allows them to restart and move forward with their life. However, sometimes removing all contact with them isn’t possible, especially if children are involved in the divorce. These situations are difficult as the narcissistic person will still want to hold power and control over their ex-spouse and children.
3 Laws Named After People
In order to stay in control of their life, decisions, and the needs of their children, a parent should follow several key communication methods.
THREE C MODEL Communication is key when it comes to co-parenting and must be approached carefully with a narcissist. Following this three C model makes communication concise, calm, and constructive. It’s important to use a calm tone of voice to keep the conversation respectful. Be sure there is a concise message in the conversation to stay on track and not allow language to turn against the parent. Constructive language is also important to keep the conversation as positive as possible and keep negative tones and emotions at bay. STAY FACTUAL Typically, a narcissist will attack the other parent to get an emotional reaction from them. When they see an emotional reaction, they will use those emotions against the other person to manipulate them. Practicing assertiveness in any interaction with a narcissist allows a parent to be direct and stick to the facts of the case. It ensures the conversation will stay logical and keep any emotional reactions to a minimum. SET BOUNDARIES One of the most important steps an ex-spouse can take against a narcissist is to set boundaries for themselves. Don’t tell a narcissist more than they need to know. A good practice to follow is to treat the co-parenting relationship as a business. A parent’s business is to ensure their child is taken care of, and every conversation they have with their narcissistic ex-spouse should reflect that. Keep interactions focused on “business” so the ex-spouse is less likely to engage with them on a personal level.
That All Americans Should Know Perusing a list of federal laws may read like a yearbook of crime history. Bills introduced in Congress are often named after the victims of horrific crimes, greed, and exploitation to honor those victims. Below are three such laws. Each has made a lasting impression on society and culture. THE ADAM WALSH CHILD PROTECTION AND SAFETY ACT The Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act was signed in 2006 — 25 years after 6-year-old Adam Walsh was abducted from a Florida shopping mall. Adam’s body was found 16 days later, and his father’s reaction to his son’s horrific death impacted generations of victims. His father, John Walsh, went on to create the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and hosted the popular TV show “America’s Most Wanted” for 23 years. The act created a three-tiered categorization for sex offenders, designated requirements for registering as a sex offender, and included a provision that requires offenders to report their whereabouts. THE MUHAMMAD ALI BOXING REFORM ACT Boxing is a tradition that stretches back to the early Egyptians, but it wasn’t until 1999 that Congress took action to protect these heavyweight fighters from greed and exhaustion. The Muhammad Ali Boxing Reform Act — known as the Ali Act — sought to protect boxers from promoters who took advantage of sports bets to make a quick buck. Experts identified many unethical business practices that put boxers in danger and stripped them of their rights to payment. The act was signed into law on May 26, 2000. Though it bears the name of famed boxer Muhammad Ali, there are no explicit ties to him, but the boxer did fervently support the bill in Congress. Kari’s Law In 2013, Kari Hunt Dunn was killed by her estranged husband in a hotel room in Texas. Her daughter, who witnessed the event, knew to call 911 but was unaware that she had to dial 9 first to make an outbound call. Kari’s parents sought to change that by advocating for Kari’s Law, which was introduced in the Texas legislature in 2015. The law was signed into effect nationwide in 2018. It mandates that hotels, businesses, and other multi-line phone operating systems can no longer require dialing a 9, or any other number, prior to making a 911 call.
It can be difficult to co-parent with a narcissist, but we can help should those difficulties become harder to cope with. Call the Bruce Law Firm today for a consultation.
Is your friend or client in need of a guide related to recent job or income loss? The book can be downloaded for FREE at SupportModificationBook.com. If your friend or client lives in the South Florida area, we’ll mail them a hard copy of the book upon request. OUR SUPPORT MODIFICATION BOOK CAN HELP!
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Best Methods to Alleviate Stress
Surviving the Holidays During a Divorce
AN EXPRESSION OF SELF-LOVE Unfortunately, self-love is something often overlooked, especially during the holidays. With so much emphasis on family, friends, and loved ones, it’s difficult to take care of oneself. However, in times of stress, a little self-love can go a long way. Indulging in favorite hobbies, for instance, is a great way to relax and destress. A TIME WITH LOVED ONES Spending time with loved ones who truly care helps decrease stress. Family members who support and care about their loved ones will improve emotional health with their positivity and love. While plans this year are still uncertain, make sure to make some time to spend the holidays with the important people in life. A VISION FOR 2021 With the new year right around the corner, this is the perfect time to start planning personal goals. Set some time aside to consider a few of those personal goals. When someone has an idea of what their goals are, how to accomplish them, and the challenges they might face, those goals become tangible. Additionally, thinking about the future will help people going through a divorce see what they can do with their new freedom.
Going through a divorce is a stressful process, and when that divorce takes place during the holidays, it adds to that stress significantly. Whether a person has recently filed or has been going through a divorce for a while, having a plan in place for the holidays can make the season easier to manage. That plan can help shape this otherwise chaotic time of year and alleviate stress. AN EMOTIONAL BREAK Knowing that this is going to be an emotionally draining time will help people prepare for the holiday season. The last thing they need to worry about is a situation that will put them under more pressure and increase their anxiety. If something comes up and someone doesn’t feel up for it, it’s okay to say “no.” No one needs to make an effort to attend every party, event, or gathering — if it will put a strain on emotional well- being, politely turn down that invitation.
Though the holidays may be stressful, with these helpful plans in place, that stress is greatly reduced.
Have a LAUGH
Holiday Pet Food Gravy
No holiday feast is complete without gravy to pour on just about everything — including your dog or cat’s food! Get your pets excited about their dry food by revamping it with this quick and easy holiday gravy recipe.
Ingredients
Inspired by Rover.com
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2 cups low-sodium or homemade chicken or turkey broth
1 lb low-fat ground turkey
2 tbsp cornstarch or tapioca flour
Directions
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Pour broth over meat mixture and bring it to a low boil until it thickens. Let cool slightly but serve warm over your dog or cat’s favorite dry food.
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In a medium saucepan, bring broth to a simmer. In a skillet, brown ground turkey, breaking it up into small pieces. When turkey is cooked thoroughly, strain off any remaining fat. Sprinkle cornstarch or tapioca flour over meat and stir well to coat evenly.
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Enjoy the holiday feasting together!
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Gift a Momentous Experience This Year page 1 The Story Behind 3 Laws Named After People Co-Parenting With a Narcissist page 2 Don’t Be Stressed This Holiday Season Holiday Pet Food Gravy page 3
2021: 5 Gifting Experiences page 4
2021: 5 Gifting Experiences
CATCH A SHOW AT THE KRAVIS CENTER This performance hall has hundreds of shows each year. Featured upcoming shows include Jimmy Buffett’s “Escape to Margaritaville” in January, or “PROUD Tina: The Ultimate Tribute to Tina Turner” in March. Visit Kravis.org to see what’s available and start planning an experience. WATCH TENNIS AT THE DELRAY TOURNAMENT In February each year, Delray Beach opens with the international tennis tournament. This experience is perfect for tennis lovers. What’s more, the Delray Beach Tennis Center is offering socially-distanced seats for the 2021 tournament. However, with this safety measure in place, there are limited seats available, so don’t wait! Head to YellowTennisball.com to purchase tickets today. VISIT SPACE COAST FLORIDA Just an hour’s drive from Orlando is the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex, also known as Space Coast Florida. This is a must-visit for anyone who’s ever been interested in space and space travel. To learn more and buy tickets, visit VisitSpaceCoast.com. As we enter into the new year, it’s important that we plan for fun and meaningful moments for 2021, but also stay safe. Follow any safety measures in place at each venue and watch for any updates about these events.
As mentioned on the cover article of this month’s newsletter, gifting experiences is a wonderful thing to do. However, we also know that coming up with something on the spot can be tricky. Here are a few ideas to enjoy in the new year. VISIT A LOCAL MUSEUM InWest Palm Beach, there are plenty of museums to visit and explore their different exhibits. The Norton Museum of Art has plenty of upcoming exhibits, including “Divine Beings” in January, “George Cohen: Artist of the Chicago Avant-Garde” in February, and the Collection of Esther M. and Summer L. Feldberg in March. Now is the perfect time to purchase a ticket. TAKE A TRIP TO MIAMI Looking to get out of West Palm Beach? Make the experience a trip! Organize a train trip into Miami and visit one or more of the museums, parks, or beach attractions there.
Visit Jungle Island, one of Miami’s most popular attractions and only a short distance from downtown Miami. The Vizcaya Museum and Gardens also offers a unique museum experience with not just a beautiful courtyard but also 34 rooms filled with treasures.
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