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O ctober 2022
LESSONS IN LIFE AND LOVE G iving I t M y A ll
I’m always in the middle of a good book, though I often don’t make as much time for the hobby as I should. I recently received a recommendation about one that could teach all of us a thing or two. Since October is National Book Month, I want to share some of the lessons I learned from “The Go-Giver Marriage” by John David Mann and Ana Gabriel Mann. As a family law attorney, creating better ways to relate to each other is a topic close to my heart. The authors of this book are a married couple, and they outline intentional actions we can take to improve our relationships. Their book is succinct and doesn’t require stretching one’s mind. But to learn its lesson, any reader must open their hearts. Their recommendations aren’t difficult to implement, but they take practice and a willingness to reshape your thinking. The book outlines five principles, and the first four are about how to treat your significant other. Appreciation requires acknowledging your partner and taking deliberate actions to show gratitude for them. Attending refers to looking out and doing nice things for them. Allowing encourages us to accept our partners for who they are without trying to change them. The fourth principle, Believe , asks us to trust our partners, their judgment, and their ability to achieve fulfillment. I particularly appreciate that this book provides practical suggestions that will immediately impact your relationships and make them more authentic. It’s a step that’s often lacking. For example, consider how often you see the suggestion to meditate for stress relief. “Fair enough,” you might think, “but what does that even mean?” We don’t necessarily have built-in knowledge about how to do it. And it’s harder to take action when you have to seek out additional information on your own. Too often, the process becomes overwhelming, and you never get started. While the Manns write specifically about marriage, I find their principles apply in one way or another to all relationships. Whether we have romantic partners or not, we engage in relationships from the day we’re born. And if we want those relationships to be fruitful, we must nurture them. I’ve been applying the lessons from “The Go-Giver Marriage” to my marriage as well as interactions with clients and staff. What does that look like in practice? Well, let’s start with Appreciate. I now try to tell people I’m grateful for them out loud. I’ve always appreciated them internally, but I’ve realized it doesn’t do anyone any good unless I say and show it.
How to Attend to others will depend on the level of intimacy in your relationship with someone, but I find it’s mostly about being thoughtful. If I happen to be at a specialty store and notice a candy I know a staff member loves, picking some up is a simple but powerful act. It helps them feel seen and cared for. As for Allow, we all sometimes feel it would be easier if other people would conform and do things your way. But the eccentricities we all have are what gives us each our spark — and in trying to snuff out the former, we too often snuff out the latter. I’m learning to let go of my preconceived ideas about how a “perfect” employee or client behaves and appreciate each person for who they are. Finally, of course, is Believe. I know my clients and staff members have the capacity and drive to work on their self-actualization and fulfillment. My job is to give them the freedom they need to explore, and it’s a blessing to watch another person blossom and fulfill their potential. I’m still a work in progress, but the book has inspired growth. Its principles have improved my relationships, enhanced my life, and made everyone around me happier. The trick now is to keep doing it — but gaining the tools I need to improve was half the battle. –Michael Manely
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I t ’ s W orld T eachers ’ D ay ! 3 WAYS TO SHOW GRATITUDE Donate unused notebooks, pencils, pens, or other school supplies to a teacher. Some teachers even have wish lists available if you want to purchase new items for their classrooms. They will appreciate your kindness, and the children who need these supplies will also be grateful. WRITE THANK-YOU LETTERS. If you had a teacher who impacted your life, or if your child has a favorite teacher, write them a thank-you note. Handwritten notes are more meaningful than ones you buy at the store. It shows you put in time and effort to create something specifically for them. You can write about a favorite memory you had with them or the ways they’ve inspired you. If you’re feeling extra generous, add a gift card to the note! A small message can go a long way in turning someone’s day around. VOLUNTEER WHEN YOU CAN. In addition to teaching in the classroom, teachers need to chaperone students during field trips, recess, lunch, and standardized tests. Contact your child’s school and see when they need volunteers to help with these activities. Teachers will greatly appreciate it because they will have a chance to take a break or organize their materials for the next class. Even if it’s just for the day or a few hours, teachers will appreciate the extra assistance. Teachers play a vital role in preparing our children for the real world. They teach them vital social skills and problem-solving strategies that will assist them as they age. So, let’s take some time to show appreciation for their dedication to our children.
Teachers have impacted you and your children’s lives in more ways than one. Maybe they inspired you to take a certain career path, always understood you, or were there for you or your child when it was needed. Teachers have a demanding job, so in honor of World Teachers’ Day on Oct. 5, let’s take some time to appreciate them. Here are three ways to show your gratitude this month. DONATE SCHOOL SUPPLIES. Some teachers spend personal funds to purchase school supplies for their classrooms. This expense can become costly, especially if they provide for multiple students.
F rom L aw to D ogs — A nd B ack A gain MEET STEPHANIE SOTIROS
Client care coordinator Stephanie Sotiros did not take a linear path to The Manely Firm, which she joined at the beginning of 2021. She attended law school in Wisconsin and started her career at a bank doing contract work. It wasn’t her cup of tea, so she left to enter the pet product industry as a sales and marketing director for many years. Later, Stephanie opened a dog bakery and boutique with storefronts in Wisconsin and Tennessee. “I created 92 different kinds of dog cookies, and I also baked cookies for people. I got up at 2 a.m. with a smile on my face and baked, and we built everything from the ground up with our own fixtures and my mom’s oil paintings on the wall.” Sadly, after 15 years, she closed the business to care for her ailing mother. Since Stephanie always wanted to live in Savannah, she was excited to find the opportunity at The Manely Firm. “In almost every position I’ve worked in in the past, I was the leader,” she says. “I’m not [a leader] here, but I really enjoy the team Shelia and Michael built, and it feels like everyone is working together.”
Stephanie is the first person potential clients meet. “I talk to them about what’s going on in their lives and discuss their legal issues, then I help them connect with one of our amazing attorneys for a strategy session,” she says. “I love helping people work toward a better future. As that first point of contact, I’m someone to talk to. Everything they say is confidential, and they can express to me what they’re really feeling.” It’s probably unsurprising to hear that Stephanie loves dogs. “I’ve raised, shown, and bred dogs, and I once had the No. 1 dog in the country,” she says. “I got my first dog when I was 5. My parents had a choice: either take the puppy home or leave me at the breeder’s.” Her mother passed away a couple of years ago, but she remains a caretaker for her father. She also loves celebrating her 100% Greek heritage, cooking, and watching sports on television. “I never had any intention of going back to the legal field,” Stephanie says. “But I love the talent and transparency at The Manely Firm and how they help people. That’s what brought me back — and I’m enjoying it one thousand percent more than the first time around.”
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“It always seems impossible until it is done.” —N elson M andela
C reamy B aked P umpkin R isotto
A Thumb on the Scale
HOW UNCHECKED BIAS CAN AFFECT CUSTODY
Inspired by FoodNetwork.com
Most people recognize there is bias in the judicial system. At The Manely Firm, we see it play out most often in custody cases. Worst of all can be the petty biases that many of us overlook in ourselves every day. When left unchecked, they can produce a great deal of injustice. “People have preconceived notions of mothers and fathers — unfortunately, without them even knowing it,” Michael Manely says. Abusive mothers, absent fathers, or other experiences in a person’s past can often color their perceptions and decision-making. “So, when we’re talking about custody cases, it’s about far more than just what the law says on the subject,” Michael notes. “Instead, what are the perceived truths written on many people’s hearts, and how do we work with them?” He mentions a case of a now-retired judge who refused to grant custody to a father. “He’d always say, ‘I have never seen a calf follow a bull,’” Michael remembers. That’s an extreme example, but the phenomenon still occurs in subtler ways, particularly when a guardian ad litem is appointed. Hundreds of years ago, judges used to go out into the field and fact-find. Now, the guardian ad litem talks to witnesses and makes conclusions about the parents and what’s best for the child. While there are many excellent guardians, it can come down to the luck of the draw, and Michael notes, “The concept of objective truth may be fairly irrelevant.” Instead, the project becomes winning over people who have biases and don’t even realize it. He mentions a current case where a guardian is biased against women with high-profile careers. “But they don’t come out and say, ‘I hate professional women,’” Michael adds. “You have to figure it out by reading between the lines.” The Manely Firm is experienced in these cases and knows how to handle them. But at times, the solution can be less than ideal. In the case of bias against working mothers, “we literally dress our clients in June Cleaver costumes,” Michael says, referencing the 1950s archetypical homemaker on “Leave It to Beaver.” Though deeply unfortunate, adjusting your behavior to a powerful person’s biases is sometimes necessary. Try to keep your thoughts on what matters most — your relationship with your children. And rest assured, we’ll be with you through every step.
I ngredients
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5 cups of low-sodium chicken or vegetable broth
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Salt, to taste
Pepper, to taste
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2 cups Arborio rice
1/2 cup fresh basil, chopped 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 cups of pumpkin, diced
1 1/2 cups canned pumpkin purée
2 tbsp mascarpone cheese
1/2 yellow onion, minced
2 tbsp olive oil
D irections 1.
Heat the oven to 400 F and arrange a rack in the middle.
2. In a 3-quart baking dish, combine broth, rice, diced and puréed pumpkin, and onion. 3. Season with salt and pepper, then stir until evenly combined. 4. Cover tightly with aluminum foil and bake until water has been absorbed and rice granules are puffed. 5. Remove from the oven and stir in basil, grated Parmesan cheese, mascarpone cheese, and olive oil.
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211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 www.allfamilylaw.com
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The Gifts of Giving
It’s World Teachers’ Day! Meet Client Care Coordinator Stephanie Sotiros!
How Bias Impacts Custody Cases Creamy Baked Pumpkin Risotto
3 Picture-Perfect Destinations
F all in L ove W ith the S cenery ! 3 P laces to T ravel T his S eason
Fall is the perfect time to plan a scenic vacation. You can find lower prices and fewer crowds at many popular destinations right now. Best of all, the views are incredible. From the changing colors of leaves to sunsets and mountains — a picture-perfect getaway awaits you! Here are three popular destinations to fall in love with this season.
for hibernation. If you love to be outdoors during the cooler months, then you will love biking, fishing, and hiking here during the fall. However, be aware that some roads will close for the winter in mid-October, so review park information ahead of time for accessibility. SEDONA, ARIZONA It may be too hot to visit Arizona during the summer, but the fall months are perfect because the temperatures drop somewhat. If you love to see trees bursting with colorful leaves, hike the Baldwin Trail and Cookstove Trail. Sycamore, oak, and maple trees will shade you with their colorful canopies. Also, each year, the city holds a Day of the Dead celebration you can attend at the Tlaquepaque Arts & Crafts Village in late October.
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ASHEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA Everyone can find something to enjoy in the mountains of the Carolinas. You can drive the Blue Ridge Parkway or hike the Appalachian Trail for breathtaking views of mountains and sunsets. For history fans, get lost at the Biltmore Estate and learn more about the Vanderbilts. If you’re a fan of the nightlife, Asheville is known as Beer City USA, with more than 30 breweries and over 100 local brews. YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, WYOMING The wildlife in Yellowstone is active in the fall, so you’ll get a chance to see bison, elk, and eagles during your stay. You may even observe bears preparing
These are only three of the many breathtaking destinations you can visit this season. For more locations, go to TravelAndLeisure.com/trip-ideas/fall-vacations/best-fall- vacations. So, what are you waiting for? Book your trip now, and don’t forget to pack a camera to capture the picture-perfect views!
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