Alborzi Orthodontics - May/June 2020

235 N. SanMateo Drive, Suite 300 SanMateo, CA 94401-2672 Tel: (650) 342-4171

705 Purissima Half Moon Bay, CA 94019-1934 Tel: (650) 726-6321

The Alborzi Standard

May/June 2020

THE IMPORTANCE OF ACCENTUATING THE POSITIVE

Mother’s Day is May 10, and Father’s Day is June 21 this year. In honor of that, I thought I would share some of my thoughts about parenting for this edition of the newsletter. It’s not easy to raise a child in the jungle of this world. My husband and I have just one son together. If raising him has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes it feels like you’re tossing your kid out there into the middle of a cage full of tigers. Parenting can be scary, but we have to be willing to take risks. The more we empower our kids, the more likely they are to survive and make good decisions on their own. We have to fight the urge to “helicopter parent” and trust that our kids will learn to make their own decisions based on our guidance , not our constant monitoring. Another lesson I’ve learned from parenting is that the most efficient way to get the behavior you want from your child is to focus on the positive. That has been an important lesson in raising our son, and it even informs the way we talk to kids in our office. We try pointing out the positive things in their behavior instead of hitting them with a wave of negative reactions to their dental hygiene. Of course, we provide a correction when necessary, but correcting is different than reacting to and focusing on negative behavior. As parents, we have to remember that the same tools that work for teachers can also work for us. Yes, these are our kids,

and sometimes we will get frustrated and impatient with them. But when we treat them as kindly and empathically as we would expect a teacher to treat their students, we will get that positive communication right back from our kids. It doesn’t matter if it’s a patient, a student, or my own son. Emphasizing the positive is the best way to get more of what you want. My husband and I are both busy — he runs a chiropractic clinic — but he has always been very good at making sure he

have a very open and close relationship, and I credit it to the fact that my husband is an excellent listener. He’s good at waiting, hearing my son out, and then providing guidance. They are close, at least partly, because my husband is so good at focusing on the positive. This year, to all the mothers and fathers out there, my advice is to be gentle with your sons and daughters. Listen to them all the way through before sharing your thoughts. Don’t be afraid to let them take risks, and trust

carves out time to spend with our son. When he first went away to college, our son would call home almost every night, and my husband would clear that time in his schedule. The two of them would be on the phone for almost an hour. They

that you’ve done your job well enough that they will make the right decision.

–Dr. Alexa Alborzi

(650) 342-4171 | 1

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