GOLF AND ALCOHOL / MIND M ers, and it’s not a long line to follow to the current tech race of who can mould the most cupholders in a dash. THE BOTTOM LINE. Economically, the last century has been a birdie binge for the United States. Coinciding with all this plenty, American clubs developed levels of service that far outpaced Brit- ish clubs. Incentivised to bring in more revenue to cover growing food and beverage operations, club managers operated accordingly, introducing con- tactless payment systems and “compli- mentary” kegs, bars and smorgasbords. Never forget, “free” and “included” are not the same. PERFORMANCE. Both real and per- ceived. But for a few sad outliers, we know the best tour pros in the world compete soberly and with full athletic discipline. We also know we are not them. Among us flawed and tortured hacks, many entertain theories that they score their best with just the right amount of swing lubricant adminis- tered at the right intervals. These per- sonal histories tend to be inconclusive, but that’s golf. A top teacher I know thinks his students might be better off showing up to lessons drunk, if that’s the way they’re going to play. I hear that the halfway house at Royal Portrush, in keeping with a trend of overseas destinations that cater to
tricked us into thinking we were play- ing 36 holes, and we arrived early for what was revealed to be an extended sharpening session before just one round. But never did the drinking spill outside. Of course, there are many on both sides of the Atlantic who never mix golf with alcohol. They stopped reading this in disgust on page one. But if you’re still with me, note that for a game exported to America not 150 years ago, it’s re- markable that we now need rules. Be- yond the example set by The Lido, the club where I play keeps going back and forth on “airstrikes,” or golfers phoning drink orders from the course. Currently, I believe they’re outlawed – such is the cyclical nature of politics. The point is, same as most cases of questionable drinking, the issue has reached the level it can no longer go unexamined. So, why is it the golf customs of Amer- ica and the British Isles have diverged so widely, especially given the latter’s fondness for drink is so storied? (Think of your favourite Irish drinking joke be- cause I can’t write mine.) Five reasons: CLIMATE. Weather is an obvious and powerful sociological force. We know the first golf was played in winter when fields were fallow and there was little work to be done. Even in short daylight, the popular goal of the early golfing so- cieties was two quick rounds of alter-
nate shot divided by lunch with wine and kümmel. You might wobble a bit on the first tee but your insides were warm, as were your pocketed hands free of beverage management. The booze was walked off by the time you came up No 18 again. THE GOLDEN AGE OF DESIGN. Many courses built in America in the 1920s and 1930s followed a principle espoused by Alister MacKenzie – that both nines should lead to the club- house. So was set into motion a rhythm of greater convenience and opportunity than the out-and-back layouts of the mother countries. GOLF CARTS. Shortly after fighting alongside our golfing brothers in World War II, some of Uncle Sam’s nephews had the idea to repurpose surplus elec- tric military vehicles as golf carts for the disabled. Two decades later, enter the purpose-built beverage cart with cool- A top teacher I know thinks his students might be better off showing up to lessons drunk, if that’s the way they’re going to play.
American clien- tele, has much improved its sup- ply. Whether our influence should be celebrated, I’m not sure.
AN INSIDE GAME True links golf tends towards drinks in the clubhouse, not on the course.
Allow me a quote from the author Pete Hamill, whose father emigrated to Brooklyn from Ireland the day of the stock market crash in 1929. “The cul- ture of drink endures because it offers so many rewards: confidence for the shy, clarity for the uncertain, solace to the wounded and lonely, and above all, the elusive promises of friendship and love.” He damn well could have been talking about golf, though he wasn’t. On the inward nine of Hamill’s life, af- ter he quit drinking, he remembered more of his friends’ good times than they did.
GOLF DIGEST SOUTH AFRICA 15
JULY/AUGUST 2025
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