Atlanta Divorce Law Group - January 2020

Instead of Running FromWhat You Don’t CREATE A VISION FOR WHAT YOU WANT

January 2020

The word “vision” can instill motivation to achieve incredible things, but it can also be used as a tool for complacency when it becomes a notion we dream about from afar. At Atlanta Divorce Law Group, we strive to use vision in its most powerful light and encourage both our clients and our team to do so by taking a different approach to creating their own visions. We often see our clients go through an overwhelming sense of loss as they navigate the process of divorce. Their status quo has changed, they may no longer be able to do the things they used to do, and they think they need to start downsizing their lives and the vision they had for their lives. But we practice contrary to that belief. We operate on the curve that exists after the proceedings of a divorce, where people get to start identifying themselves outside their marriage and can recreate their vision for life, not downsize it because of false limitations. That’s when building tangible visions becomes such a strong practice. First, it’s important to step away from long-term notions of 10 or even five years. Instead, focus on what can be achieved in the next few years. When people say they picture themselves somewhere 10 years from now, it’s difficult to glean any useful action from that statement. When you

put such a long timeline on a goal, you’re just kicking a tire around rather than actually using it to drive ahead. The closer the end- goal, the more real it feels. Next, create three categories: personal, professional, and financial. Think about what you want to achieve over the next few years. Do you want to take more family vacations? Do you want to start your own business? Do you want to save enough money to buy your dream home? Your aspirations should be exciting, but it’s important to keep them achievable. Think about the things you truly believe you can accomplish within a few years. The next crucial step is to reverse-engineer the process for achieving your visions. Start by writing down the details of your desired end result. Then break them down further by moving backward and noting what steps you need to take on a daily basis in order to continue climbing up each rung of the ladder. If you take the time to break your vision down into smaller milestones, you’ll begin to realize that reaching the top of that ladder is a possibility, not just a dream. Our vision for the new year is to move our office to a space more conducive to the work we want to do. We want an area that can accommodate our growth, create a more cohesive culture, and provide more comfort to our clients. We reverse-engineered all the steps we need to take, and because of that, the process is already under way. It’s an achievable vision we’re going to accomplish because we’ve taken the time to plan the details, and we’re motivated every time we cross a step off our list. In this new year, take the time to realize what your visions are. Life doesn’t end on the other side of a divorce. It begins anew. Don’t limit your visions because of what you think you might be leaving behind. Instead, expand them because of all the new possibilities life now presents to you.

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–Sara Khaki

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And Why They’re Important to Consider THE SHADES OF GRAY DIVORCE

The divorce rate for couples over 50 has nearly doubled in the last decade. Divorces that occur later in life, sometimes called “gray divorces,” happen for many of the same reasons as any other divorce: financial pressures, infidelity, or a desire for independence. Whatever the reason, older couples often face unique, age-related challenges concerning their finances and dependency upon one another that can factor into the proceedings. Dividing retirement plans can be complicated and is often done through a separate court order called a qualified domestic relations order. You’ll also need to consider whether you can receive survivor benefits after the divorce in the event that your ex-spouse dies, if any loans taken against a 401(k) should be repaid, whether you’re entitled to any contributions made to your combined retirement plans, and whether you can receive distributions and still avoid tax penalties. There are many nuances to wade through when it comes to divvying up retirement assets.

Social Security benefits can’t be divided by a divorce court like retirement assets can, but benefits are greatly dependent upon your income after divorce and should be monitored carefully. If you’ve been out of the workforce during your marriage, have been married for 10 years or more, and are 62 or older, you can still collect retirement benefits on your former spouse’s Social Security without reducing their benefits. You can also switch from their benefits to your own if you prefer. will most likely be to your day-to-day life. You may be expected to live on less than anticipated, work longer than expected, or even re-enter the workforce. Whatever direction you find your life now taking, plan your approach effectively by calculating your living expenses, generating income, mixing up your portfolio, and understanding the value of your time and your aspirations. And don’t forget the importance of having a lawyer assist you through this new phase of your life. While retirement and Social Security are important considerations in a gray divorce, the largest change

HELP YOUR KIDS ACHIEVE MORE THIS YEAR

With Simple and Actionable Goals

KEEP THINGS SIMPLE AND ACHIEVABLE.

With every new year comes an opportunity to reinvent ourselves or start down a new path toward self-improvement. Making resolutions is a big part of many families’ New Year’s traditions, and parents often have a desire for their kids to take part in that tradition when they’re old enough. Following through on resolutions is tough, especially for young children, but with your help, they can achieve their goals. You are your children’s role model for almost everything, including following through on New Year’s resolutions. So, ask yourself if you follow through on your own resolutions. When you proclaim that you will read more books or finally get a gym membership, do you actually try to do it? Your kids will assign as much importance to New Year’s resolutions as you do, so by sticking to your own commitments, you can help them stay on track, too. PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH.

When it comes to creating habits, nobody is perfect, so even if your kids falter on their goals in the middle of February, don’t worry. The important thing is that you continue to encourage them every step of the way.

When your kids are forming their resolutions, their first attempts will probably be very broad. Statements like “I want to be more kind” or “I will try to help more around the house” incorporate good values but don’t include any actionable steps. Help your kids think of tangible ways to act on those goals. For example, if they want to be tidier, a good resolution might be for them to clean their room once a week or take responsibility for one household chore every day. While it’s important for you to help your kids formulate their goals, be sure that you aren’t taking over. If they’re ultimately responsible for their resolutions, they’ll feel more compelled to keep them. Instead, suggest different goal areas they could improve, such as home, school, or sports, and let them elaborate. DON’T DO ALL THE WORK FOR THEM.

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ESCAPE TO A WINTER WONDERLAND CHILL OUT IN THESE FROSTY DESTINATIONS

THE DOLOMITES, SOUTH TYROL, ITALY

Snow is magical and gorgeous — unless you have to commute in it. If you want to enjoy all the wonder that winter has to offer without the hassle, why not turn it into a vacation? Here are a few breathtaking, snow-covered destinations that any winter lover can enjoy. Above the city of Gyeongju, this ancient Buddhist temple has stood on the slopes of Tohamsan Mountain since the eighth century. Bulguksa, or “Temple of the Buddha Land,” is South Korea’s No. 1 UNESCO World Heritage Site, making it a popular attraction for domestic and international tourism. The crowds and school tours die down during the winter, however, which also happens to be when Bulguksa is at its most pristine. The iced-over BULGUKSA TEMPLE, SOUTH KOREA

If you want the feel of a ski trip to the Alps without the packed slopes and ritzy resorts, the Dolomites are just for you. Located in northeastern Italy, this stunning mountain range is home to some of the best skiing in Europe, as well as many historical sites. The secluded villages that dot the mountain valleys are an attraction in their own right, especially for the rustic cuisine you’ll find there. Don’t expect pasta though. This region is a melting pot of flavors from Austria, northern Italy, and the local Ladin people. Ricotta and sauerkraut pancakes, anyone?

temperatures of the southernmost continent are at their most hospitable. The Antarctic has become an increasingly popular tourist destination, with cruises taking adventure seekers through the vast, untouched beauty of this far-flung destination. Some tourists even enjoy kayaking or cross-country skiing through this icy paradise.

THE ANTARCTIC

This is the one entry on this list that is best enjoyed during the summer months, which is December–February in the Southern Hemisphere, because that’s when the freezing

lotus ponds and snow-dusted pagodas add to the sense of tranquility this site naturally exudes.

CONCIERGE PARTNERS’ CORNER: Featuring Alane Palmer of Nutritionally Yours

HERE’S WHAT OUR Clients Are Saying!

Part of the process of traveling the road to the life you want to lead is recognizing the need to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Atlanta Divorce Law Group is a big advocate for taking the time to care for your well-being, which is why we highly recommend exploring the services offered by Alane Palmer and Nutritionally Yours Health Solutions.

“My divorce felt unreal, as I imagine it does for most people, and I could not believe it was actually going to happen. It was something I was not looking forward to. As the breadwinner of the household, I was concerned about my financial liability. At the same time, I didn’t know what would be considered ‘doing the right thing’ for someone I had shared a life with for so long. “But I am so grateful for the care and knowledge Atlanta Divorce Law Group provided me. They were always looking out for my best interest, and the entire team kept me informed and educated the whole way. They made sure I knew at every step what my rights and strategy options were, and I felt safe and taken care of through the entire process. “I highly recommend Atlanta Divorce Law Group!” –Asfia Y.

Alane is a naturopath, a certified nutrition counselor, and a holistic nutritionist who has served thousands of patients in Atlanta since 1999. She takes a 100% holistic approach to health care by using proven alternatives to conventional medical treatments. Alane’s goal is to improve the environment within our bodies by fighting against ailments that affect fatigue, hormones, weight, toxicities, brain chemistry, pain, bone health, skin health, and more. After facing a life-altering period of time when Lyme disease caused Alane to become bedridden, she tried all the conventional methods of healing, but nothing worked. Only when she explored other avenues and holistic approaches, like adjusting her diet, did she begin to recover from the disease that had been crippling her for so long and start to live a full life again. This experience led her to her current practice, and today she helps thousands of patients facing an array of physical issues begin to find the path to healing themselves. Take the first steps to a healthier you by exploring everything Nutritionally Yours Health Solutions has to offer at NutritionallyYours. net, or call 678-372-2913 to book an appointment today. Rediscover your health, and lead the life you envision.

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And Set Alternative Goals for the New Year THROW AWAY YOUR RESOLUTIONS

At the start of each new year, about half of all Americans set at least one New Year’s resolution, a promise to themselves that they will thrive in the coming year. Unfortunately, research from YouGov Omnibus, an international market research firm, found that only 1 in 5 Americans stuck to their resolutions. The fallibility of New Year’s resolutions is why few successful CEOs or leaders bother making them. Around this time of year, plenty of articles pop up with hot takes like, “Don’t set New Year’s resolutions; make goals instead!” Unfortunately, if you haven’t been making goals already, you’ve likely been setting yourself up for failure. Setting goals, achieving them, and making new ones should be a habit all year long, not just something you do on Jan. 1. The start of a new year is still a great time to reflect and strategize, but rather than fall on an old cliche, take a page from two of the most successful people in business.

for leading the new life you want after your divorce. The death of Perry at the end of Season 1 is certainly a big change for every single woman, even if they may not have been as directly involved as Bonnie was. But his death and the subsequent cover-up forces everyone to rethink how they’re going to navigate their lives now that things are so different. At ADLG, we emphasize that by going through divorce, you are giving yourself a new lease on life. It is not the end of life as you know it, but rather the beginning of life as you envision it. Taking steps to figure out how you’ll navigate that change is part of the process. No matter how complex your struggle may seem, give our team a call, tell us your story, and we’ll do everything we can to help you. In the meantime, get captivated by Season 2 of “Big Little Lies.” ‘past year reviews’ (PYR) more informed, valuable, and actionable than half-blindly looking forward with broad resolutions,” Ferriss said in a 2018 blog post. At the start of each year, Ferriss spends an hour going through his calendar from the past 12 months and making a note of every person, activity, or commitment that sparked the strongest emotions, both positive and negative. The most positive events get rescheduled immediately for the new year. Meanwhile, the negative ones get put on a “Not-To-Do List” and hung up where Ferriss can see them. “I do believe in starting the new year with new resolve,” says Melinda Gates, co-founder of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, “but instead of adopting a resolution, I choose a word of the year — a word that encapsulates my aspirations for the 12 months ahead.” Gates says that words like “spacious” or “grace” have helped her center herself and serve as a reminder about what she really wants to focus on. In 2019, Gates chose the word “shine,” stating that, “It’s a reminder for all of us to turn on the lights inside of us, lift each other up, and shine together.” PICK A WORD OF THE YEAR WITH MELINDA GATES.

REFLECT ON 2019 WITH TIM FERRISS.

For decades, entrepreneur and best-selling author Tim Ferriss made New Year’s resolutions every year. Then, he developed a better strategy. “I have found

ADLG’S ‘BIG LITTLE LIES’ SERIES: SEASON 2, EPISODE 1 RECAP

Divorce Law Theme: Mindset

In 2019, the ADLG team featured a new blog series to deep dive into the hit TV show “Big Little Lies” and analyze the family themes it addresses. We took a break from the show in the December edition of our newsletter, but we’re back to recapping the show for you here. Below is our take on the first episode of the second season, “What Have They Done?” After the Season 1 finale cliffhanger, fans assumed there was no room for a Season 2. The dramatic storyline of five women who band

together to navigate their hardships seemed to have run its course. But the second season takes a poignant look at the aftermath of the last moments of Season 1 and shows how each of the Monterey Five is holding up. We think this speaks to an important aspect of divorced life: When all the proceedings are done and the last decisions have been made, life might seem like it’s ending, but it’s not. It’s beginning anew.

ADLG’s theme for January is all about vision, mindset, and how managing both is important

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