Grief itself is exhausting work; you don’t need to take on more than you can manage. Plan for emotional moments. Certain songs, places, or ritu- als may stir strong feelings. Have a plan, maybe a quiet space to step away for a moment, or a friend to text when it feels too heavy. Anticipating these moments doesn’t remove the pain but can soften the surprise. Give yourself grace. Grief doesn’t take a holiday. You may have good days and hard ones. Some moments might even hold laughter or lightness, that’s okay too. Let go of any ex - pectations about how you “should” feel and allow yourself to be where you are. The holidays can magnify loss, but they can also remind us of the deep, enduring love that remains after a loss. If you’re grieving this season, know that you don’t have to do it perfectly or even gracefully, just honestly, one moment at a time. If you feel that speaking with a professional would help, visit Kim and Sam’s practice, This Thing Called Grief, at www.thisthingcalledgrief.com or call 548-708-7242.
Navigating the Holidays with a Tender Heart
The holiday season can be one of the most tender and compli- cated times of the year when you’re grieving. Unlike anniver - saries or specific dates that come and go, holidays often last for weeks. Everywhere you turn, there are messages of joy, family, and togetherness. You may find yourself longing for the person who isn’t here, missing the traditions you shared, or feeling out of step with the world around you. “For someone living with loss, that can feel almost unbearable. It’s a painful contrast, the world celebrating while your heart feels heavy,” says Kim Vander Schelde, a Thanatologist who lives in Riverbend and specializes in bereavement counsel- ling, along with her husband Sam. If you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, it’s okay to admit that the holiday season is hard. While you can’t erase the ache, here are some ways Kim suggests may help you navigate the holidays with compassion for yourself and your grief: Choose what feels safe. You don’t have to attend every event. Be selective about what feels manageable and where you’ll find emotional support. A quiet dinner with close friends may be easier than a large party. Allow yourself to say no with - out the guilt. Communicate your needs. If you decide to attend something, let the host know ahead of time that you may need to leave early or that you might change your mind at the last minute. Grief can be unpredictable, and you’re allowed to take care of yourself in the moment. Create space for your person. You might find comfort in ac - knowledging your loved one’s presence in some way: light a candle, hang a special ornament, make their favourite dish, or share a memory. Including them in your traditions can make the day feel less empty. Simplify when you can. The holidays often come with pres- sure to host, decorate, bake, or buy gifts. This year, allow your- self to do less. Choose what matters most and let the rest go. Keeping It Local, Even in the Cold How can we support local produce in the winter? The organizers of the Komoka Community Market (KCM) came up with a solution, the KCM Food Hub+. Komoka Community Market has been a benefit to many local area families, vendors and customers. Both shoppers and sellers would often ask if a winter market is feasible, or an extension of the summer market season. “This was a lovely idea”, says organizer Amy Watt, but it was difficult to find the right venue - one that did not cost too much as a weekly event, and a space that allowed for a good number of local vendors to be involved... with adequate parking for customers too! “After many late-night chats, drawings, spreadsheets, and prayer, we hope we have found the solution”, says Amy. The KCM Food Hub+ is in a trial year, but organizers love that it is a cost-effective way for the local vendor community to come
together and reach their customers in one place. The organizers are excited to continue bringing healthy, local food and goods to customers, building the local economy, and strengthening food security in our communities throughout the year.
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Riverbend Villager December 2025
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